Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

@HowlsMovingBungalow I’m so sorry. Anguish not knowing what will be allowed. Even the pandemic can seem trivial when faced with a personal loss. Then you realise that it’s all very real.

This pandemic is shining a light on so many situations and all the small and large suffering and striving that goes on, often quietly.

My partner is being discharged from hospital around 3 months early. No rehab beds and Covid is all over the hospital and they want to clear vulnerable people out. I was promised 4 care calls a day - but now it’s none. He was due home today. I got everything ready and then they said it would be tomorrow. I cried!

I was tempted to get a bottle of wine - but it passed and it wouldn’t have helped.

Thinking of you @StillDimDeDumming. Lots of fanastically strong women on this thread, coping with all things in life SOBER. Certainly strengthens me to keep going on with a clear head.
I hope those battling with drink read this and previous threads and gain some inner 'roar' to step on this path and to come alongside. It is so worth it even if life is kicking you in the arse, sober is much MUCH better.
Here ends my sermon . Onwards! Day 99.

Sending flowers to those struggling sorry for your loss, howls. Wishing you strength drybird, still and thisuser.

I am amazed that I have not used the justification of everything being so shit to drink. Honestly amazed! But I haven’t. Day 90 here and I have sort of renewed my pledge. The weekend just past was supposed to have an event in it that I had tentatively planned to have a drink at, but as the event didn’t happen, there was no reason to drink. I thought long and hard about whether to have the drink anyway, but in the end, decided not to.

When I stopped drinking, the drinking that I most particularly wanted to stop was the “alone on the sofa” drinking, and thanks to lockdown, that is all that’s on offer right now! So best not. I’m doing a 21 day fitness pledge with some friends, and will stay booze free for that, then see where I am.

I’m pretty confident in my belief now that drinking won’t help me cope with doubt or uncertainty, and that it will only worsen anxiety, which is quite a freeing place to be. I find that if I’m wavering, some quit lit or quit podcasts helps me renew my commitment.

That’s terribly sad news HowlsMovingBungalow. Really sorry for your loss.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts.

@HowlsMovingBungalow I'm so sorry to read that. So very sorry. Well done for staying strong.

@StillDumDeDumming I'm pleased to read your DH is getting out, albeit earlier than you'd have liked. You must be shattered after all that's gone on. Good luck with everything and you, too, have been incredibly strong.

Thank you all for your wishes. Don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight. It’s quite tiring because as organised as I am, it’s different now he’s home. Of course. He’s asleep now. He won’t sleep with the light off. He says he’s terrified.

Still lots of love to you. That sounds so unbelievably hard for both of you.

Lots of fanastically strong women on this thread, coping with all things in life SOBER. Certainly strengthens me to keep going on with a clear head.
I hope those battling with drink read this and previous threads and gain some inner 'roar' to step on this path and to come alongside. It is so worth it even if life is kicking you in the arse, sober is much MUCH better spot on from HowIs, I was struggling to put it into words but this is how I'm feeling.

Oh, and congrats to @HowlsMovingBungalow on reaching the 100 day mark.

As Clare Pooley says IT TAKES ABOUT 100 DAYS TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT, AND ABOUT SIX MONTHS TO GET THERE. YOU CAN DO It. (Clare's capitalisation!)

I had a wobble and a fuckit moment last night after caring for my very tricky alcoholic father. But brushed it off and was so glad the next morning. As much as anything because I don’t want to be like him. Plus lent is my current short term target. After that... six months?
Love and to those in distressing and hard situations right now.

Well done, @SparklingLime. After Lent you can be doing Sober Spring until the end of June, if it helps to have something to aim for. Someone mentioned it upthread and I found details in the Trydry app.

Hello everyone! Long time no see, but I wanted to check in.

I thought it would be a good time to come and say hello again, and see how everyone is doing? Especially as a few of us must be coming up for 100 days, now?

I've not had a chance to read through all the posts since I stepped off for a break, but I recognise quite a few of you, and I hope everyone is ok? If not, huge hugs and solidarity. I'll try and catch up today, apologies if I have missed something major.

All I know right now is that if I hadn't stopped drinking things right now would be much, much worse.

I just wanted to come on and say thanks so much to everyone for all your advice and words of encouragement. We are all going through something we've never gone through at the mo and you're all staying strong and keeping off the drink so want to send a virtual hug to everyone - am sure we all have some additional crap we are trying to deal with to, so keep at it everyone. I'd have never have got to a month sober without coming on here. Haven't had a sober month for at least 8 years I think. So thank you.

Also can anyone recommend a app so I can track sober days please

Hello House! Good to see you. 😊

Jess I use Trydry which is the Dry January and beyond app, it counts your calories, money and units saves too which is horrifying to see and also motivating and satisfying. Other people have different preferences.

Another vote for TryDry here - I log every day now automatically.

Waves at DryBird2020.

Thank you

Here are my stats;

Day 94
561 units saved
£601 saved
38.8K calories saved

Told you they were horrifying!

Hello all! I'm feeling quite bright today. I've done the weekly shop so we've got plenty of food, I've delivered my mum's to hers (I don't have a great relationship with her but I'm doing my bit), I've finished worked for 10 days, the kids are off now too (so no relentless tasks while trying to do my own work), I've been afforded Business Critical status so can access the VPN during working hours when I do come back, so all-in-all it feels like some of the pressures off that has felt relentless over the past few weeks.

And I have had one glass of wine since the 31st of December and that was over 6 weeks ago now so now a distant memory.

I'm not used to many highs at the moment and I'm sure there's something lurking around the corner that will take the wind out my sails but it feels good to be in a state of wellbeing. And one that's entirely alcohol free.

How are you doing @HowlsMovingBungalow and @StillDumDeDumming? You are in my thoughts .

@Ulysses- thank you. It’s been fairly bumpy. Dp is doing so well but he’s been discharged way too early. We had the paramedics out today as he couldn’t breathe but we think it was a panic attack. He’s never had those issues. The kindest pharmacist dropped me some sleeping tablets on his way home. There’s been some really tender moments. He cried when I gave him home cooked food.

Oh of relevance to this thread (!) The paramedics asked if he used to drink frequently before the haemorrhage. Also he’s telling everyone he’s not going to drink again. There’s some connection in his mind or he doesn’t want to miss anything- not sure.

I hope you are manage to get some rest too in all of this @StillDumDeDumming. It’s an awful lot to deal with. Fingers crossed he has the resolve to quit as well.

Paramedics out twice today! A fall and bleeding catheter. Both times again. ‘Oh was there alcohol abuse?!’ Sobering (literally)

@StillDumDeDumming I hope you are OK. You will need to take really good care of yourself too.

@Ulysses it was good to read your upbeat post! Staying alcohol free is certainly helping me through this crazy time.

@Drybird2020 it’s hard to actually. He’s having a nap. I need to clean yesterday’s blood up, wash up, eat something or have a shower 😁. Think I’ll go for a shower. It’s actually too much for one person- I could manage if I had someone here.