Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

@Drybird2020 thanks,yes ok here. Had the mother of all migraines that last Wednesday and Thursday - haven't had one before, the pain in my left eye and over the left side of my head was unreal. Not had one before - what a time to get one- 4 kids at home hope everyone is ok.

@jess3817 wow, what a time to get a migraine, but I'm not that surprised as stress can be a major trigger. I'm a migraine sufferer too. If you can get a GP appointment over the phone you might be able to get triptans prescribed, they can stop a migraine in its tracks if you take them at the start - I really recommend getting some medical advice. I hope you are feeling better now, drink tons of water and a magnesium supplement helps a lot of sufferers.

Ah thank you. The kids have been really good actually Wich has surprised me lol, I have been worrying alot about one of them getting so it's probably thay. My husband went out as soon as he could yesterday morning to the chemist and got me some migralieve - luckily only took one because wow that stuff is strong lol
Felt a bit dodgy thus morning but suddenly cleared about midday. Will bear in mind what you've said if it happens again. Wich I hope it doesn't.

Ugh, I know all the reasons why I don't want to drink but I have been thinking about it this week. It hasn't helped to see DH really really enjoying a couple at the end of the long, busy days. And I'm working very hard, and I'm premenstrual and hating everybody and just want some fucking peace and quiet.

That sounds really hard, @Drybird2020. But you’ve done so well and been such an inspiration... keep going! I am so grateful to you for this excellent follow on thread. I’m guessing that you would be pretty unhappy by the next day if you did drink? Sending hugs 🤗🤗

Can you look yourself in the bathroom with a vat of tea, radio, podcast, cake? Or tell your husband to enjoy his drink in the garden (if you have one) out of your way? Perhaps just get through the PMT before making any big decisions. See how you feel next week?

Thanks @SparklingLime. Think I will do that. Its day 88 for me, and I definitely don't want to go back! I've been unbothered by thoughts of boozing for a while so it took me by surprise that I suddenly wanted a drink.
I did a shop today (weird experience) and picked up a good range of nice AF drinks so I can have something that feels special in the evening. And a ton of sweets which I ate out of range of the kids 🙊

Excellent news, @Drybird2020!! PMT plus a pandemic could give anyone a wobble. Onwards...
Day 86 here. Two weeks to 100 days! 🎉🎉

Hope you're ok @Drybird2020.

We had a family quiz last night using House Party and I did think it would be nice to have a cold beer at the same time. But I didn't and treated myself to a can of coke instead so still in there.

I know that as soon as I'd have the first beer I'd want to keep that buzz going but because I can't moderate I'd be a drunken state instead.

I'm beginning to feel sorry for myself, because I'm working all hours (my role's non business critical so can also get access to a huge part of my current workload out of normal working hours), my husbands in the vulnerable group cause he's had a transplant so everything's a bit fraught with that, home school is a bit of a struggle for DD8 and it's her birthday tomorrow. DH is also self-employed and has a couple of staff and he's stressed with that. Oh and I'm also premenstrual!

My responsibilities are overwhelming me at this time and this is when past me would be drinking to escape it all, but I like to think I've gotten to the stage where it'd soon appall me. I'm at a point of no return.

Please excuse my pity party!

That’s a hell of a lot to be dealing with, @ulysses. I hope your DD can enjoy her birthday even if it’s an unusual one. So glad we’re all coping with this without alcohol complicating things.

Thanks @SparklingLime. Think it's done good to get it down on paper, so to speak. Everyone has their issues don't they. I've stopped working now so am going to put my laptop away till later on.

I missed my walk yesterday so will have that after the party and that should sort me out a bit. Am away now to decorate the living room and think of things for a treasure hunt.

DH didn't sleep well last night which has made me feel angsty. He's really stressed about his business. He's still in bed but hoping he'll be in a better frame of mind when he does appear as I'm find his stress contagious.

Are people who have fallen off allowed on this thread? Can't wait to get back on track from tomorrow x

Absolutely, @thisusernameismine. Welcome back!

@Ulysses it's completely fine to have a pity party and this is a safe place to have a moan if you need to.

I keep thinking "must complain, mustn't complain" but can't keep it up the whole time, and this situation is crappy and painful and arduous for everyone in myriad ways so it's OK for us to acknowledge that and support each other with it.

Welcome back @thisusernameismine
The only requirement is that you have the firm intention of sobriety. You won't be excommunicated for a slip up. I bet there are a few of us who have succumbed to the wine witch during this weird time, some previous posters have gone quiet

Have had a sudden and shocking death in my very small family. Haven't drank but the urge burnt like hell today.
Moment to moment is how I'm dealing with this shit.
Keep yourselves and your families safe.

@HowlsMovingBungalow I am so sorry. It must be very hard to take in such a sudden loss. And how strong of you not to reach for a drink. I'm sending you love and strength for the days ahead.

Thank you @Drybird2020. It is all compacted with the lockdown, very stressful not knowing what is allowed or not. Horrible.

So sorry to hear this from you @HowlsMovingBungalow. Take care x

@HowlsMovingBungalow, so sorry for your loss . I hope you are able to get some strength and support from the thread, even if you don't feel like posting .

So sorry for your loss. 🙏

Thank you you lovely lot .

So sorry for your loss xx

Thank you what a lovely supportive bunch! I was 80 days in, even made it past my 40th last weekend, but the current worldwide situation has been getting me down in all sorts of ways. Felt normal and right to not have a drink tonight! It's completely overrated.

@HowlsMovingBungalow I am so so sorry to hear this. Sending as much virtual love as possible. Xxx

@thisusernameismine you're right, drinking is overrated. Having a clear head is a real help in these difficult times. I'm feeling calmer and more in control despite all that is going on. It's one less distraction and quite liberating.