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Alcohol support

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Original poster

I'm giving up drinking.

306 replies

WeAreAllAdults · 06/10/2019 10:06

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

OP posts:
seaweedandmarchingbands · 09/10/2019 07:17

It’s weird, isn’t it? One of the sections in Annie Grace’s book emphasises that it’s a progressive disease and that virtually everyone - whether problem drinkers or not - in a particular study was shown to drink more over time, or to stop altogether.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 09/10/2019 07:31

I think I'll get that book; I see it mentioned a lot. I want and need to become one of the latter group. I now have absolutely no doubt that it's a losing battle and the only way to the win the war is not to engage with the enemy right from the start.

Right, must start work. Have a good day, all.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 09/10/2019 07:34

Have a good day! Do buy it, it’s excellent.

pennyhasdropped · 09/10/2019 09:24

Good morning all, another AF night last night and I have to say I'm really feeling the benefit now! The dog failed to catch the little furry visitor and it made another appearance last night H caught it and put it outside in the fields 😱 I'm hoping it's just a random one that got in whilst I was doing the gardening!! How you all doing? Better sleep and less eye bags I hope.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 09/10/2019 11:56

Much better last night. Glad the furry visitor is out!

IRefuseToSink · 09/10/2019 12:07

Glad to see everyone doing so well!
I last night was really hectic so wasn't too hard.
Not sleeping very well, but hopefully that won't be a long term thing.
I totally agree with pp - everytime I stop drinking and start again I fall deeper into it.

femininefrillsandfurbelows · 09/10/2019 16:57

My friend, the things that do attain
The happy life be these, I find:
The riches left, not got with pain,
The fruitful ground; the quiet mind;

The equal friend; no grudge, no strife;
No charge of rule nor governance;
Without disease the healthy life;
The household of continuance;

The mean diet, no dainty fare;
True wisdom joined with simpleness;
The night discharged of all care,
Where wine the wit may not oppress;

The faithful wife, without debate;
Such sleeps as may beguile the night:
Content thyself with thine estate,
Neither wish death, nor fear his might.

[Apart from the ‘without debate’ thing, I rather like this translation by Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey d.]

polkadotpixie · 09/10/2019 17:14

Good luck ladies. I stopped drinking on 24.12.15 so it will be 4 years soon

I'm not an alcoholic but my Dad is and I don't know when to stop. I always drank til I embarrassed myself or passed out. I'm not a good drunk and I just don't want to end up like him

I still miss it occasionally but it definitely gets way easier with time and the peer pressure fades away as people get used to the new sober you

comfortablynumb1 · 09/10/2019 17:45

Day 4... I'm still thinking and talking about not drinking far too much but I feel like it's helping. I hope that calms down soon.

My headache from yesterday has turned into a sore throat and earache so I'm getting ill but I won't be self medicating with wine and co-codamol like I normally do. Just going to ride it out.

You're an inspiration @polkadotpixie 😃

Love that @femininefrillsandfurbelows
who knew people were struggling with the same issues many moons ago.

hellenbackagen · 09/10/2019 18:31

Following.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 09/10/2019 19:59

Hi can I join to? I have been sober for 11 weeks now. Like alot of you I attempted to moderate but then I let it go and each time I drank more. The benefits outweigh the losses.

However I am aware that it can all be so easily lost so I don't take my sobriety for granted. I do sometimes think maybe I could have one but I know I can't, I don't have an off switch. Hi Hellenbach I remember you from a previous thread, I have had a slight name change as I lost my account. How are things going for you?

Northernsoullover · 09/10/2019 20:10

Hi all. I gave up drinking in March. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It has been challenging on occasions but its been the best thing I've ever done.
This isn't the first time I've given up but I wasn't successful because I always hoped that after a break I'd be able to drink 'moderately'. That didn't work out of course!
There are some excellent books out there. My favourites are Alcohol Lied to Me and Alcohol Explained. These really change the way you see alcohol. Now I don't miss it and don't want to drink at all. I've done parties, gigs and holidays all alcohol free.
If any of you are Facebook users there are several groups that offer support. The Unexpected Joy of being sober is one, and my favourite is Soberpunks the quit drinking club. You can swear profusely in that group Wink
Good luck with your journeys. I never thought that this bottle of wine a day drinker could knock it on the head but I have and it feels amazing.

StandUpStraight · 09/10/2019 21:13

Just popping in to say a big well done and congrats to you all. I stopped in January - best thing I ever did. You have totally got this and it will start to pay off very soon if it isn’t already. Rupert I remember when you first stopped - amazing to be at 11 weeks!

Original poster
WeAreAllAdults · 09/10/2019 22:56

So much love, inspiration, courage and guidance has come about from what was my initial miserable post. I honestly didn't expect anyone to reply, let alone to gain such a lovely little support group of like-minded people. You are all incredible Flowers

I'm heading towards the weekend in a positive frame of mind. I could have so easily had a mid-week drink tonight after a stressful, expensive evening but I didn't and I feel quite pleased with myself. I distracted myself with some meal prep and paperwork. So a productive evening rather than one of drowning my sorrows 👍

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 09/10/2019 23:29

Well done guys.

I'm 24 days sober today. I was so alcohol dependent I had to do a medical detox.

I feel so much better. My skins is clear. I'm glowing again. I'm eating properly again. My mind is clearer. And the reality is the things that triggered me to drink more, are the things that are actually easier to deal with sober. Who knew... Wink

@MacavityTheDentistsCat It's useful for me to read that. I know in my heart of hearts that this has to be for ever. It would be lovely for me to think I could have a nice glass with a nice meal. But I have a feeling that it wouldn't take long to regress completely and drink more than ever.

femininefrillsandfurbelows · 10/10/2019 08:11

Still sober! On day 5 here. Day 5 is my nemesis. Not this time.

comfortablynumb1 · 10/10/2019 09:11

Day 5 here too.

Genuinely have no desire to drink at the moment. Well it is 9am so I would hope not but Thursday is usually my have a few bottles of wine night as it's nearly the weekend. So I'm hoping to distract myself with working a bit late and watching some Morherland on bbc iplayer when I get home.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 10/10/2019 09:13

Is Motherland good?

pennyhasdropped · 10/10/2019 09:36

I'm so cross with myself this morning!!! Went to my exercise class last night, curry bubbling away when I went. H sends a message when I'm on route back asking me to pick up a bottle of wine for him. At first I said no and then gave in and stopped off to buy a bottle. The smell of lamb curry when I walked in was Devine! H had already pour me and him a glass before I'd even served the food and stupidity I drank it 🙈 I had two glasses and was suitably tipsy.. but the worst part is it didn't touch the sides and I had the worst nights sleep!! What it has done has made me realise how much better I was feeling AF and I'm so cross with myself I will not allow this to break me!! So I've had a wobble but it's fine, I've learnt from it and no know one glass just isn't an option for me!

seaweedandmarchingbands · 10/10/2019 09:48

pennyhasdropped

Does your husband know you are trying to give up? Mine doesn’t, but I don’t think it would surprise him if I told him.

pennyhasdropped · 10/10/2019 10:17

He need to to! He's worse than me.. I just don't like how it makes me feel the next day. Completely non productive and life is ticking by in a blur.. we'd spoken about it and decided enough was enough. Sunday he caved in and had a bottle of wine and I didn't touch any. I think it may be harder for him to stop completely as for as long as I've know him he's drunk wine every night pretty much. I used to be very good and only have the odd glass.. things were getting on top and having a glass of wine in the evening became my got to option. Not proud of it and before I knew one glass was two and so on.. he can drink if he chooses to but I'm totally not joining in again. Really made me angry this morning, I was doing so bloody well.!

LKS1 · 10/10/2019 10:24

Just reading this thread and almost want to weep , such honesty - more than I offer to myself . I average at least one bottle of wine a night - usually more. Weekends wine drinking during the day too. Constantly talk about, worry about, obsess about quitting - no joy yet..Cant even remember when last AF day was... probably when pregnant 20+ years ago. God, wincing as I write this down. Feel I should cut down before cutting right out as afraid of alcohol withdrawals..(or is this yet another excuse). @theemmadilemma, would you be comfortable talking about what you meant by "medical detox"
Oh... just remembered I did see a counsellor a few years ago and cut down to two glasses a night and one AFD per week.
I spend so much time feeling ashamed. The posts here make me feel so much less alone... thank you - everyone x

comfortablynumb1 · 10/10/2019 10:25

@seaweedandmarchingbands yes I really like it and at the moment I can't concentrate on hour long episodes of anything so half hour of this is perfect for me before I get restless.

@pennyhasdropped this is a brilliant learning curve for you. You may have a needed it, now when a craving kicks in you can come back to your post this morning and read it and be taken back to how you feel today. I've done it a thousand times and I feel it's the only reason I've got to this enough/no more point now.

pennyhasdropped · 10/10/2019 10:29

@comfortablynumb1 I think your right! It's been the wake up call I needed, my sleep was awful last night and up until now AF I've had so much more rest. I was thinking more positive, tackling daily jobs head on instead of putting them off because I was in the fuzz of a hangover.. every time I get that craving I shall think of how I felt this morning 😐

comfortablynumb1 · 10/10/2019 10:32

@pennyhasdropped do you think your relationship with your husband will change?

That is one of my worries now we won't be drinking together.

I made him into a bit of a drinker as I felt better making him drink with me rather than drink alone Blush now he drinks far too much on certain evenings and I feel it's my fault. But it's our thing iyswim and now it's gone and I'm worried he will find me boring and lacking.