I'm giving up drinking.

[WeAreAllAdults]

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

[ElsaCragg]

@CantstandmLMs you can take back control. It is an amazing feeling, although it can be uncomfortable to confront some emotions and behaviours. But so worth it.

At the risk of sounding twee, you can start to live a more authentic life.

[Alfiemoon1]

Hi can I join please?
I need to stop drinking I once again had to much last night and became horribly abusive by text to dh who was working nights I am so ashamed again i darent even look at my phone and read them yes I deserve to be flamed

We’ve had some problems over the last 4 years I think we are past them except when I’ve had to much to drink I drag it all up again it is the time of the month and I am peri menopausal and this is when I tend to start it all he was annoying me earlier in the week not picking up after himself but when I am drunk I have no filter Iam truly vile

He is off the next 2 nights I have spoilt them as he won’t be speaking to me which I deserve I have ruined so many times like this I need to stop it. I am not like this with anyone else and when I go out I am always on my best behaviour it’s the drinking at home which is the problem

So after having very few af days in the last 4 years usually at least half a bottle of wine a night more on my days off today is going to be my day 1

[Nomorewineever]

Hi @Alfiemoon1 I’ll hold your hand. Being honest I’m a happy drinker but I as drink alters me in one way I can see how it alters you in another.

How are you finding tonight? Have you spoken to DH? What have you done as an alternative to alcohol tonight?

I’ve had a small amount of wine earlier tonight (4 units) but fighting the urge to have more. I don’t need more. I’ve poured a water with ice and lemon instead. Tomorrow I don’t have any choice as I’m driving the day after at 5am. Then it’s facing a work social meeting. I really totally absolutely have to stay in control and no one else around me will. I have zero choices - I either hold it together or self implode in a new job amongst really senior colleagues. Intending to go tee total as I think it’s the safer bet.

[CantstandmLMs]

So I had my first night out alcohol free and I'm very proud. I managed to have a good time. It's mad how you notice people slowly losing it the more they drink.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend seemed to of drunk what I would do drunk as well as his own and I had to take him home He was awful! I was so cross. We've had a proper word (it's a fairly new relationship 6 months) I didn't give up alcohol to have to deal with his issues!

[Alfiemoon1]

I can be a happy witty drunk I think it’s the combination of being hormonal peri menopausal as I can be snappy and irrational sober so last night was not a good combination

I have done day 1 it didn’t seem to bother me no cravings and I didn’t have a hangover today but i didn’t replace the wine with anything at home I only drink coffee or wine drink pop etc at work

Thought dh was being ok we watched with ds I am celeb we have spoke since after ds went to bed I pointed out my frustrations picking up after him and he took it on board we discussed what needs doing this week then when I said I was going to bed he said right I will get my pillow I told him last night to sleep on the sofa I said that wasn’t necessary and to come to bed to which he replied no given the current situation he will sleep on the sofa so obviously I am now annoyed I am not excusing my behaviour but feel he’s carrying it on and I don’t expect him to understand women’s problems I am going to make an appointment with the gp again. He has always been a heavy drinker and has done or said some awful things in the past to most he probably is still a heavy drinker but it is a massive improvement to how at times he has been and I have yes been annoyed but always supported him so I feel let down by his lack of support when after being the backbone the planner etc of the family for 25 years i am finally the one who is having issues peri alcohol mental health he is being like this

[Alfiemoon1]

I am wide awake for some reason and I have to be up at 6.45 to work all day

[heebie]

Room for one more on here? I have had the horrors today after a weekend of drinking every night. I actually have stopped for eleven months before, partly due to a lovely thread on here many years ago. I don't drink throughout the week mainly but come the weekend I binge big time and appear to have no off switch. I really, really want to stop again. So sick of feeling like shit, worrying if I smell of booze the next morning and I feel bloated and gross.

[idot]

how much is binge big time?

[jelly79]

Hope you are all well - how are you planning on drinking / not drinking over Xmas?

I haven't drank in 2 months. Not a drop. Feel great. Now I have the internal debate on whether to have some over the holidays

[Northernsoullover]

I just wanted to come here and wish you all the best. I'm nearly 9 months sober and it feels amazing. A brief summary is the first 3 days of being sober were a killer, the first weekend was really tough. Right up until 6 months I had moments where I could have murdered a glass of wine but the last 3 months I feel like I was never a drinker!
I was drinking a bottle of wine every day unless I went out. I drank even more on those occasions .
My top tips are read all the quit lit you can get your hands on and if you are a Facebook user there are private groups that offer support and inspiration. The ones I use are alcohol Explained and the Unexpected joy of being sober.

[CantstandmLMs]

Anybody use alcohol alternatives for social events etc?

I've bought some seed lip alcohol free gin and alcohol free beer for the weekends events. I was happy enough with some tonic in a prosecco glass last weekend to be fair!

[Postmissposte]

I need to join you guys. I think I am in time to sort myself out, but only just.

Moderation is so very difficult for me that I feel that stopping altogether is, realistically, the only way. I can and do stop for days it weeks at a time,which I find totally manageable, but then I begin to think "it wouldn't be too bad to have a drink, I can be sensible, etc". Then I drink way too much in an evening and the next evening feel like doing it again.

My family background normalised excessive drinking (expat/military) and I drank regularly to excess from my teens onwards. My mum has problems with alcohol, she stopped drinking ten years ago and I need to follow her example, and that of the courageous people on this thread. But gosh it's daunting.

[Alfiemoon1]

1 week done not been a problem through the week as moderated to half a bottle as in work the next day phew ok last night but slight wobble tonight but resisted have been proactive and joined the nhs waiting list for counselling to deal with my issues regarding my marriage and am trying to get a gp appointment regarding my peri menopausal symptoms
Tomorrow will be a tough night as it’s dh night off he will drink and expect me to join him as I usually do grr

[CantstandmLMs]

I've done it guys. Done a whole day and evening with visiting friends who have been drinking from
1pm until now (so 12 hours). It's been a roller coaster of emotions but I'm so proud. I honestly don't want to drink considering the state of this lot... I also had fun at a party and danced without. Game changer.

[ineedtostop]

Can I be late to this party? Name changed because I'm so humiliated to have to finally own up to this, but at least the name change tells it like it is. I need to stop. I've tried moderation and I can't stick with it. I even feel like I need to do it NOW... even though it's Christmas. Maybe it would make more sense to do a New Year's resolution though? I'm all over the place. I don't want to wake up feeling dreadful anymore. I've got my first grandchild arriving in January. I want to be someone my son can trust to always be sober and on call for this little one. I want to do a better job of things. I want to lose weight. I'm scared but I'm really feeling it's time and I can do it with a bit of support. Is it crazy to try now or should I wait?

[CantstandmLMs]

@ineedtostop I would start now. I feel the same way but something was saying do this now, if you do this now you will stop.

I had what I would of imagined as an impossible weekend with so many drinking events and everyone else drinking and I made it through and wow the difference with me at work is enough to make sure I won't be drinking through Christmas or new year. I can do this!

I highly recommend fizzy waters and non alcoholic alternatives in a prosecco/wine glass. Makes it feel Christmassy anyway. Ive had a couple of the alcohol free beers too which are handy if you really want that feeling of having a "treat"

Trust me, the no hangovers are worth it!

[ineedtostop]

@cantstandmlms good idea on the festive twist on non alcoholic. I do think it's partly the habit of just having that glass in your hand. Im on sparkling ginger tonight. I't s a bit sweet but still feeling good just to be taking that step. Does anyone find those sober apps to be helpful?

[iamyourequal]

Well done @CantstandmLMs getting through your boozy weekend AF! That’s great. Hi ineedtostop. Good on you taking the first steps. If you feel now is the time I would go for it. I use an app called ‘drink less’ but I’m going to find a better one for the new year. They are all quite limited and this one makes a nice tinkly bell sound when you log a drink. I think that’s a terrible design...lol

[jelly79]

Hi all.... just reading all the updates 👊 it's a tough time of the year to try and avoid temptation. It's so easy to rationalise because it's Christmas

I have nearly done 3 months and I feel brilliant! Not a bit of anxiety and sleeping so well! I feel really smug when I make it home from a night out 😇 and get in to bed sober

Felt the difference on the pennies but not on the scales but you can't have em all!

[CantstandmLMs]

I've done sober Christmas 🙌🏼 Sober new year next and I don't think it's going to be a problem...although I'm not looking forward to it

[jelly79]

@CantstandmLMs YAY!!!! Go you!! Me too! To be honest it's give me a feeling of thinking I could do this I definitely now! I've enjoyed Christmas more than ever x

[CantstandmLMs]

@jelly79 well done to you! I am almost scared to drink now, loving the no hangovers and the "black cloud" that follows me after a drink. My partner is enjoying it too. Our time together is so much more fulfilling!

[Patsypie]

The love affair is ending for me. I'm aiming for a dry January then hopefully continue. It's destroying my life and finances and it's just not fun anymore. I'm going through my sky box & deleting my pissed favourite fun viewing(I realise how tragic that sounds). I've stopped the fags with no problem so pray I can get through this.

[jelly79]

@CantstandmLMs Oooh well done to you too! I think I've started to associate with the day after more than the actual drink itself. I wasn't a really big drinker but it made me feel so crap regardless of how much/ little I drank

[jelly79]

@Patsypie ah you can do whatever you set your mind too! The money saved has been a real bonus the last few months and January is a great start there will be so many others doing the same👊