I'm giving up drinking.

[WeAreAllAdults]

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

[VaselineHero]

I just want to say it's totally doable! I did this about 4 years ago, for pretty much the same reasons you give. At the time I felt like saying I would never drink again might be too much of a commitment for me so I decided instead I would drink again when I could have a different relationship with it. Haven't missed it since (apart from having a glass of wine on holiday while you watch the sun go down type thing) and actually it wasn't that much of a big deal in the end! Give it a go!

[Bouledeneige]

I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Once I start the can't stop and keep going all night. I am taking it easy at the moment as I'm trying to lose weight.

I find it much easier to arrive at a place and just refuse the first drink and go from there. It's much easier than thinking you will just have one. Tell people you're on a health kick and stick to it.

A couple of things to note. How much better you feel in the morning if you didn't drink the night before. A clear and fresh head. Not having to worry about what you said or did at a party or that people were noticing it commenting on your alcohol assumption. The absence of shame and self loathing. Feeling healthier. And weight loss - it really helps. If you give up after s month or two you will be a stone or do lighter and feel so much better.

[comfortablynumb1]

Morning, how you feeling today @WeAreAllAdults?

Did you stay up @pazwaz70?
What you said regarding guilt about your daughter really hit a nerve with me.
My daughter (17) hates me drinking, she (so far) has never had an alcoholic drink and I don’t think she ever will.
I will have guilt forever about how many times she has seen me drunk, worried about me and put up with me feeling rough the morning after. Ive not been able to give up drinking for my children but I’m hoping I can give it up for me.

@JenniferM1989 you’re completely right about the crutch. I feel so panicky about what’s going to be my crutch to get me through crap days/weeks. But I know wine isn’t helping me at all. It’s making me feel so much more worse.
I’m downloading books that have been recommended like a mad thing and I’ve messaged the op my number.

I’m feeling determined but that’s because the weekend is still very fresh in my mind.

The posters that have spoke about being dry for a while are an inspiration. And I’m hoping the others that want to join will. I’m so glad the op posted this as I would never have been brave enough.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

I did not drink last night. Day one, done.

[comfortablynumb1]

Well done @seaweedandmarchingbands you're on the same day as me and @WeAreAllAdults. You've got this.
A quote keeps going round in my head "one drink is too many, a thousand never enough" that's me all over.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

Reading Annie Grace and about to make myself some tea. Afternoons are easy enough!

[HaHaVeryBunny]

I remember reading a paper about the effects of alcohol on the brain. Basically it said the that hit/buzz high or whatever you wannabe call it, is gone after the equivalent of 4 units of alcohol. As it's has depleted all the dopamine in the brain that you have for that day, and that's it it's gone, another drink won't top it up or help get the first buzz back. I found it a useful tip to remember, if you have a craving.

Well done everyone for sharing their stories and journeys. You can do it.You can give up completely.
This is a helpful site, primarily focused on women and alcohol over drinking, lots of support and antidotes from like minded women
www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

[VaselineHero]

You can do it. Identity the situations, people, emotions etc which trigger those thoughts like - I need a drink to unwind/relax/socialise etc. Or I deserve a drink because it was a hard day at work/with the kids or because it's Friday etc etc

You need to accept you will probably lose things. Like the group you go drinking with after work. The funny relaxed side of you which comes out after a couple. The anticipation of the sense of freedom you get knowing you're going to have a drink later. Whatever your associations are, find them out, think about them feel them and grieve them.

Right now these things feel like a loss. You won't feel like they are so much (or at all) further down the line because you will feel so proud of yourself for giving up. And strong. You will love never having a hangover, never having your kids look at you with shame and embarrassment on their faces, never going oh god what I do last night, and finally knowing alcohol isn't no longer a big deal to you.

[WeAreAllAdults]

Sorry to be so quiet all day. My toddler has kept me on my toes. I was going to message in his nap but the washing machine packed up and I spent it unblocking pipes and cleaning filters. Such glamour! 😂

To those who want to join us and stop, everyone is very welcome. We can all better ourselves together! If anyone wants to join our WhatsApp just message me your number 😊

Well done @seaweedandmarchingbands! And thank you to everyone else who's come in to share their success stories and offer their advice. It's greatly appreciated as Lord knows I need all the help I can get!

[pennyhasdropped]

I'm still going strong 🙌 not a drop has touched my lips fri/sat/sun .. I need to keep strong and not cave in tonight! Cooking dinner is when I normally crack, the kids have been fed and bath run (yes I cook two dinners weekdays) I am determined however not to touch the wine tonight. Who's with me?

[comfortablynumb1]

I am @pennyhasdropped

I have spoken to nearly everyone from Saturday night and no one has mentioned how drunk I was so now in my mind a little voice is going 'see you aren't that bad, maybe you can keep on drinking?'

I need to shut that bloody voice down. I can't keep doing day one, day two then returning to my old ways. It has to change.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

I’m in - in bed with a book.

[WeAreAllAdults]

Good stuff guys! Keep going! I've got a pint of squash and am still honestly feeling a bit dicey from yesterday. No urge to drink as such, thankfully.

My DH has spoken to everyone at Saturday's party. Apparently everyone was 'very impressed' at how much I drank and that I was funny. It was mostly blokes so I get the mentality. They were egging me on though because they know I can drink and find it funny that I can out drink most of them. Not good considering I'd only drink spirits and they'd be on beer 🙄

I too had the thought today briefly of 'well if they think I'm not that bad then maybe I just over did it this one time?'. 'Was I just letting my hair down amongst friends?' No. No I wasn't. I was a nightmare and not for the first time! I cringe at the stuff I did! I'm done cringing!

[IRefuseToSink]

I'll join you!
I recently stopped drinking for a couple of months but made the mistake of thinking I could moderate and just have a couple. I have been drinking daily ever since.
I have done so many things I regret when I drink, its affecting my mental health and I need to stop, for good this time.
So my last drink (3 bottles) was yesterday. I'm finding it pretty easy today - because I feel like shit, but would like some like minded people to talk to and get a bit of accountability.

[pennyhasdropped]

Well done ladies! Another night AF 🙌 I'm hoping for a good nights sleep however the dog has been going crazy for hours... we have a little vile/shrew in the house in the kitchen hiding 😱 I'm not going downstairs for anything!!

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

Pyjamas, bath, book, television, packing away online shopping. Very occupied this evening!

[comfortablynumb1]

I'm about to watch a film with the kids. I've had a hot bath and drank a litre of water and loads of tea.. I've asked my H to get me some nice sweets on his way home as I'm allowing myself the extra calories for the next few weeks. I'm trying to be kind to myself.

I've been reading the tired of thinking about drinking blog which a pp linked to and it is fab.

The only downside is I do have a banging headache which I'm hoping will pass.

I've been messaging @WeAreAllAdults on WhatsApp which has been helping me massively. I feel like I have a pen pal!

[WeAreAllAdults]

@pennyhasdropped is your dog angers crazy tonight? What breed is it and what's it's name? I love animals 😁

@seaweedandmarchingbands what are you watching on tv? I can't stop watching The Circle. Love a bit of trash tv!

@comfortablynumb1 would a cold compress help your head? Enjoy your sweets 🤤

I'm popping over a friends tonight and I'm driving there. She offered to come here but I politely declined! I'll be back in time for the circle!

[WeAreAllAdults]

And I forgot to add our WhatsApp chats are really helping me too, so thanks! I'll keep checking in with you but if you need a bit of peace don't be afraid to tell me to shush / leave me on 2 blue ticks

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

I’m watching the Godfather!

[MacavityTheDentistsCat]

May I join too, please? I stopped drinking on Sunday. I woke up (at 3 a.m.) that morning and realised (?finally dared admit to myself?) that I have been drinking almost a full bottle every day for longer than I care to (and probably can) remember. It has to stop and so here I am. I, too, am trying to be kind to myself. I actually went to bed this afternoon at 4 p.m. for an hour (with chocolate, tea and a book) so that I could just get out of temptation's way and shut my thoughts off.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

MacavityTheDentistsCat

That’s great, Macavity! Yes, hop onboard.

[MacavityTheDentistsCat]

The stupid thing is that I stopped drinking entirely last year and only started again in May. It just spirals out of hand so quickly.

[seaweedandmarchingbands]

Totally! How long did you stop? January to May?

[MacavityTheDentistsCat]

Yes, January to May. But the wheels then came off on a girls' holiday to Rome, for which I just wasn't mentally prepared.

I've actually had a number of other longer (and shorter) periods of non-drinking over the years. I just can't figure out how to make it stick. What I do notice is that with each return to drinking, the amount increases. It's a slippery slope.