I'm giving up drinking.

[WeAreAllAdults]

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

Haha I feel like this exactly as I am currently nursing a hangover from vodka red bull.

I might give up drinking too.

Hi Flora do you mind saying a bit more about your experience? Were you drinking a lot when you stopped? Did you manage first time to quit? How many days AF were you when you stopped missing it? I’m quitting in January and getting geared up for it. I managed 24 days AF in Oct and was feeling great but bored weekend evenings and my DH said I was no fun.. your story would be helpful!

Hi Nomorewine77. It’s really hard at this time of year but think how well you were doing. You know you can get back on track again. Right?

I'm 3 years alcohol free at Christmas, I wasn't a daily drinker more a binge drinker, would go out Friday & saturday nights & drink none stop, it wasn't unusual for me to sink a bottle if Baileys before I went out & then drink doubles & coke all night when I was out or 2-3 bottles of wine. Even losing my partner to alcoholic liver disease didn't stop me drinking & then 3 years ago I realised I wasn't enjoying having a drink any more, there was no pleasure in it, so I stopped. I haven't missed it one bit.

Hi @iamyourequal .
I was always a binge drinker. Friday/Saturday night at home on the sofa. I live in the middle of nowhere so don't tend to go on nights out anyway. After one particularly impressive binge, I decided I was too old to be throwing up through booze, so I decided to quit. I had previously tried moderation, but that never really worked. Quitting is much much easier.
I quit on 1st September last year, had about 10 days off for Christmas and then 2 other days this year for family celebrations. I don't plan to drink again, not even half a glass of champagne at a wedding. Why should I? If anyone asks I'll happily tell them why, although most people shy away from the subject. If anyone did give me a hard time, I'd have no hesitation in telling them it's none of their business.
Hope that helps. I suppose it depends quite a bit on your circumstances. I just find quitting easier. Good luck!

Hi @ElsaCragg, God I don't really know how I'm feeling, pissed off I guess that I can't have a normal, healthy relationship with alcohol. How long have you been AF if I may ask?

@iamyourequal thank you for your positivity. I know I CAN do it but it's almost like I don't WANT to if that makes sense. I'd like to just have a glass or 2 and be happy/enjoy that maybe once or twice a week without then slipping into drinking every night and too much. Meh!

@Nomorewine77, today is day 39, so not that long.

Stopping altogether is so much easier than cutting down though.

Not taking that first drink is key for me.

Instead of a constant inner dialogue trying to sabotage my efforts, I just wake up every morning knowing that yesterday was a great day and feeling good about the day ahead.

I totally get you nomore . I’m not doing great on this journey myself either. After 24 days AF I thought it would be easy to have a couple of drinks on a night out but I failed and have had a drink almost every night since..but I am determined to go 100 days AF from January. I am living in hope that by 100 days I won’t feel like a drink anymore.
Thanks for sharing Flora it’s always really helpful to hear how others cope. I’m not a binge drinker but am terrible for wanting something every night as a reward for getting through the day. Well done Nat 3 years is super impressive!

Can I join this thread and get some support, please. I don’t know what I am doing any more. All I know is that today I have accepted that this seems to have more control over me than I have over it and that has to change.

At the start of this year things were so much better. For 6 months after a health scare I drank 15 units a week and had 5 alcohol free days every single week. I felt amazing. I read books. I lost 2 stone. Everyone said I looked well. Then it crept back to how it was before - first wednesdays, then excuses, bad days, good days, and for the past month I’ve drunk every day again. Saturday night I drank over a bottle of wine. And Friday. Last night I wasn’t very bothered but had one glass and ended up drinking 1.5 bottles. I don’t remember going to bed. I don’t remember the end of what we watched on TV. I feel wretched today. I’m away with work for a night tomorrow and have a ridiculous anxiety that if I don’t have some wine I won’t sleep. Which is stupid because the reason for staying is so that I am refreshed for an early start the next day which I won’t be if I drink. And works Xmas do the week after. And dinner with friends this weekend.

I don’t know that I want to stop because I did such a long time drinking little and it was all absolutely fine, I just want to get back there and stay there.

I’m very worried about my health. I’m worried about what I am doing and why the bloody hell I am doing it.

One day at a time. Today will be a breeze because I’m hungover. Tomorrow and the hotel stay less so. I’d usually pack a bottle of wine and sink it, and order one with room service too. I’m not going to but I need a hand hold through that - if I promise to check in here will someone do that?

I feel like such a dickhead. I am ashamed of myself and my behaviour. I’m ashamed of my lack of control. I feel very self judgemental and really loathe myself for this. And to top it all I’ve got my year end work review in an hour and i look and feel like absolute shit not to mention the content which is going to be an awful conversation because I’m struggling to think in a straight line.

Why do I do this?

Hi @nomorewineever I can echo a lot of what you've said, I too used to be able to drink in moderation and not every day. This past year has just seen me sliding down a slippery slope, any excuse to open a bottle, bad day, good day bloody rainy day you name it! A PP spoke of it as like having a reward for getting through the day, is very much how I feel about it too and if I'm honest I WANT to be able to just enjoy a glass or 2 and leave it at that. I wonder why if someone has the willpower to not drink, why then is it so hard to stop at 1 or 2?? It confuses me too. I will check in with you tomorrow if you'd like?

Thank you yes, I’d appreciate knowing I’m reporting in to someone tomorrow evening very much. I’ll make that commitment.

I’m also making the commitment right now to do a totally dry January. I’ve done them before but this is very much needed. And right now, I’m going to make my aim to be to not have a drink until Saturday and none Friday or Sunday. And at the work do I know I can moderate because I’m driving the next day (not early but pre-lunch and it’s a long drive) and amazingly that means I won’t risk it - like when I’ve been pregnant and it’s not an option, driving safely does the same thing. So it won’t be a crazy boozy Xmas do thankfully. But I need to seriously curtail this because it’s ruining me. I always said it wasn’t an issue because I didn’t drink enough to have blanks or be hungover. But I’m doing that now. THIS MUST STOP.

I wish I understood my motivation to open the bottle. Why do I do it? I’m not unhappy, bored, anxious, I have a good job and a good dh and good hobbies which bring me happiness. So why do I repeat the same shitty habit over and over?

Hi Nomorewineever. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. We are all here because we have similar issues! We probably get in a rut out of bad habit but then find it difficult to stop because alcohol is addictive. I will check up on you tomorrow too!

Hi @Nomorewineever don't know what your timeline is like for this evening but thought I'd check in sooner rather than later! You ok?

Hello!! I am here. I am sober.

I avoided my witching hour by going shopping after my meetings. I’m now safely in my room with room service on order and a bottle of soda water and some lime.

What really also helped is that in my meeting today someone I was with had clearly been on the booze last night - he stank - that nasty sour smell. And I thought to myself ‘you must reek like that too sometimes’ which was a day long reminder.

I dug out my Allen Carr book and brought it with me - I might try and read it in the bath later.

I’ll be honest, I’m okay. I don’t even want wine. Not sure i could have sat in the bar though! Once 9pm has passed so will the craving anyway. I tend to have a glass cooking, a glass with supper, and one maybe after in the bath, so by 9 it’s done and dusted. Now I’ve got to achieve tomorrow too. I’m going to do this. I have to get back to 5 clean nights a week.

Hope everyone else is okay.

I’m really grateful that you’ve checked on me @nomorewine77 - having someone to be accountable to really has made a difference.

Good for you @nomorewineever, so pleased you are ok. I'm on the cranberry juice and just about to settle down with some netflix and chocolate! So true about the witching hour I'm definitely a creature of habit in that respect.

Good to hear you are doing well Nomorewineever. You will feel great in the morning! Enjoy your movie nomorewine77

That's great, Nomorewineever, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the Allen Carr book is a great help.

Hope everyone is enjoying a sober evening.

Just thought I’d post quickly to say I’m up and shiny. I’m ravenous and looking forward to a hotel breakfast! Why is it on the days I don’t drink I am way more hungry - mostly at bedtime and first thing. I don’t worry too much about calories but I have such a growly stomach.

50% of the way through the week.

@FloraMacDonald I’m curious. When you drank for 10 days then gave up again, was that just as hard to do as stopping in the first place? Or easier?

So pleased @Nomorewineever you are feeling all sparkly this morning! It's remembering what that feels like and holding on to it.

Going to jump onto this thread as I've recently made this decision and I'd like some support and think reading of others doing it will be encouraging.

I recently listened to Dr Chatterjee's podcast on tactical breaks from alcohol. It really struck me everything that was being said and the two guys perspectives on what has Changed for them since stopping. Like they talk about in the podcast, I'd consider myself somebody who drinks occasionally but that this adds up! I am tired of sleep walking through life.

I recently became depressed and although I'm feeling better I remember the one decision that made a massive change for me when I was last depressed 3 years ago, was my decision to stop drinking for a few months. It pulled me out the depression (after a break up) and I'm determined to do it again.

I had an alcohol fulled weekend this week and after feeling like DEATH on Monday I decided to make the change for good. It is my birthday weekend and I'm still going ahead with my "drinks" out get together but I am going to challenge myself to have a good time not drinking a drop!!

Anyone have any tips for what I can drink in my basic local that might seem alcohol looking lol? I know in the posher bars you can get alcohol free gin and stuff which will be helpful!

Well done on recognising that things have to change CantstandmLMs.

And you've stopped before. What helped last time, and what will you do differently this time?

The Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment encourages you to examine your thoughts and feelings about stopping as a first step.

Being in the right frame of mind beforehand really helps.

Best of luck!

Here and still sober.

Does anyone else have insane hunger on dry days? My stomach is inside out growling.

Well done @Nomorewineever, not doing at all well here. Only 1 dry day this week which is just crap!

@ElsaCragg I had recently broken up with an ex. Got completely drunk on the weekend it happened we were messaging got myself in a right state and then drove to just hungover and he refused to even answer the door. When I got home I recognised in order for me to get over this (I felt like death plus the hangover) I needed to stop drinking so I was never tempted to contact him...

I decided to do it for two months for whatever reason. It was a great two months. When I started drinking again I was like a new person and I suppose the drinking wasn't a problem at that point in my life. Now it is and id like to go back to that good feeling I felt through that two months.

I'm adamant!