I'm giving up drinking.

[WeAreAllAdults]

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

Hey welcome to our friendly group @Nomorewine77 your in good company here 💖 surprisingly all our stories are familiar! I'm really feeling better for taking that positive step forward and I have to say I'm surprised how good my skin looks not to mention the wine belly decreasing.. hooray! Maybe try and list 5 reason why you want to stop, keep the list handy for when you have those wobbles. Best of luck x

My 5 reasons:

No morning regrets
Better role model for my children
Save money
Lose weight
Look/feel better

And my 5 reasons

Hate the fact that I look forwards to a glass of wine

Hate the bad sleep and beer fear

Hate it that I'm spending too much on wine

Hate it that my daughter hates me drinking

Hate it that I'm too fat and frumpy

The money one is a big one for me, I worked it out.. me and H could have a bottle each a night - sometimes more!! £6+ a bottle .. I honestly was shocked at the expense.

That's a lot of money a week..!! 😬

Welcome Nomorewine77
The 5 reasons I have quit alcohol:
To improve my health, now and for the future.
To be a better role model for my kids and spend better quality time with them.
To sleep better and have more energy.
To develop other interests and fill ‘wine-time’ with better things.
To lose the anxiety and worry brought about from my almost daily drinking and failure so far to control it.
To save some money. (Whoops, at 6 already!).
To fit back into my slim clothes (might be getting over-optimistic now).
My goodness, I recommend everyone does a list, it feels good....

This is a good idea...

My list of 5:

•To lose the self hate for not being to stick to anything (especially not drinking.)

•The constant tired state I used to be in.
I don’t suffer from the classic hangovers. I just feel bloody tired all day and can’t concentrate. That’s cleared now massively now I’ve been off the booze.

•To be fully present in the evenings & weekends for my children, they basically get on with their own stuff really but I’m here if they need or want me. I clock out when I’m drinking.

•To lose the stone I’ve put on and get back to feeling fitter and healthier.

•To save or spend money on stuff I can enjoy (or with the kids.)
I may as well throw £20-£30 into the bin 3 or 4 times a week as that’s what I was spending on drinking...

Thank you for the warm welcome, because I feel pretty rough today ( combination of brewing migraine, period and 1+ bottles of wine last night ) I'm not 'looking forward' to a glass of wine tonight, so Day 1 in that respect has been fairly easy .
My 5 reasons for kicking the bottle:
The fact that some days I'll wake up determined not to have a drink but by 3pm will have completely vetoed that determination. I hate that I think about it so much
To sleep better
To stop being so emotional and ragey toward DH, he says I'm like a different person at times, like a switch has been flicked when I've had one too many. I'm ashamed at even writing that.
To feel clear headed and not foggy and dry mouthed of a morning.
To give my poor liver a break, I already take medication that can adversely affect it.
To save money

Some great messages and inspiration here thank you!!

I was surprised by some reactions when I told a few people I am quitting drinking! Like they wanted to talk me out of it! So negative! I'll show them 👊

hi can I join in this thread please? I don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol and I know I will never be able to stay in control of it. I'm drinking more often and wine has always been my drink choice but i can never have just 1 glass (nearly always finish the bottle). so enough is enough. I want to be a better mum and partner and that starts with knocking alcohol on the head! feeling inspired by reading people's progress on this thread.

Of course you can @TooShyShy245 all are welcome and all support needed and given.

I'm still going! I had a major wobble past night. I was in such a crappy mood, the kids were bickering, my ear was hurting and I was bored.

If someone had put a glass of wine in front of me I would have downed it. Glad to say no one did and I had a good sleep and woke up in a better mood.

I've got a short day at work today and then meeting my friend tonight to help her plan the communion for my god daughter. Looking forward to another good nights sleep tonight. (It's the only thing keeping me going actually. I'm loving my new found deep sleeps. )

Hi all, can I join please?

I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I had my stomach pumped when I was 13!!

I’m now 39 and seem to be stuck on a 3 week loop. 2-3 day bender, feel awful for a week, start to feel better then back to square 1. I am having therapy at the moment to try to help me understand why I self sabotage.

A lot of your posts have really resonated with me, also reading The Sober Diaries which I’m half way through.

This weekend just gone I had an event which I’d been looking forward to for a long time. I spent the whole weekend drunk and can’t remember any of it. I know I’ve really let people down and I can usually shake off the blackout shame but something feels different this time and I know I have to change. I’m also so worried about the effect this could be having on my daughter, I don’t want her to grow up thinking that this behaviour is normal.

I’ve been inspired by the posts on this thread so thank you all

Day 2 here now, still battling a migraine type headache so haven't had the urge to have a drink at all. @CreepyPasta I too recognize the loop you speak of and whilst I never get 'drunk' drunk and would describe myself as a controlled ( not the right term and rather ironic ) drinker in that I stop before I become too pissed, I will drink a lot over a period of a few days, feel like crap for a few days ( when I don't drink anything ) and then start the cycle all over again. Good luck to us all, I definitely feel more postive about going AF since joining this board.

Welcome TooShy and Creepy, glad you have found the thread. Well done for staying strong Comfortably . I’m on holiday this week (staycation) and questioning the wisdom of not just waiting to quit next week. But I know that’s crazy as I find my job really stressful and it will be harder then, not easier! I am reading lots of sober-lit and reflecting on the good stopping is doing me. I am drinking alcohol free beer - very well chilled and nicer than expected- as I’m on ‘holiday ‘. Planning on moving onto lemonade next week. Hopefully I won’t be thinking about it all the time by then....

I came on here to reread all the posts as I was having another weak moment.

I've just been into a pub for the first time since I quit drinking and I ordered a Diet Coke (but I hesitated for a nano second and on the top of my tongue I was going to say fuck it and get a wine.)

But I didn't, and then I stood and had my Diet Coke and when that was gone I realised I was really really bored and I wanted to get straight out of there.

God to think of the hours I've wasted standing talking absolute shite to people I hardly know just because I had a drink in my hand.

I wanted to get home ASAP and get my tea in my hand which I now have.

I can't do day one again. I just can't. I need to keep going. These posts are helping me.

Just to add that the tired of not drinking website which I've signed up to the daily emails are helping me so much.

It's like Belle just sends them to me at the right moment. I would have definitely caved if it hadn't been for the daily emails. Just in case it helps anyone else

@comfortablynumb1 Thank you for the website recommendation, a lot of what she says
really resonates especially the constant thinking about drinking and 'whats the point of one glass' that's me down to a tee!
Don't know about anyone else but I find Friday's and weekends especially hard.

I have also signed up and been listening to the one minute talks.. I have no of button really hit home to me.

Fridays are always so tricky, end of the week and take away night. I'm determined not to crack, I felt so good last weekend not having a fuzzy head Saturday morning! I must keep telling myself this .. 🙌

Have a great AF weekend ladies xx

Hi All. Let’s stay strong over the weekend. We can do this. I know I am only on Day 4, and many of you are much further forward than this. Who wants to go back to AF day 1? No way. That would be torture!
I am going to stay strong and say a prayer you all do too. I have AF beers in for tonight. Last night I had a tonic with ice and lemon but no gin. It was nice. I pretended to myself it was the real deal. I’ve treated myself to super fancy colouring pens to keep me occupied in the evenings, as I haven’t a clue how to knit...lol

Hi everyone .. I've been lurking for a week or so and reading your posts (I just happened to notice the thread in the "active" section one day)

I just wanted to say how fab it is to read your posts and how brilliantly everyone seems to be doing.
I'm almost 4years AF. I quit for good on 28th December 2015.
I'll post more if you think it will be useful? And if anyone has any questions, I would be so happy to help. Life is so much better for me now. Stuff that seemed so difficult to deal with just isn't anymore and I thank goodness I no longer suffer with anxiety
There was a fairly active "Dry" thread on MN at the time and that thread was so helpful to me for the first few months. So supportive, so I hope this one keeps going for all of you.

In the meantime, advice wise, one of the best things I did was listen to this hypnosis track every night for about 3 weeks ... bearing in mind I was very cynical about it.
You can fall asleep to it or have it on "wake" mode. To be honest, I always fell asleep while listening to it. Apparently that doesn't matter.
Appreciate it won't be for everyone, but it appeared to help me, because I can't explain how the desire to drink wine and get smashed every weekend left me. It just did.
Worst case scenario, you've wasted less than £3

Enjoy your clear headed weekend everyone and so much good luck. You can definitely do this xx

Hypnosis track here forgot to include it!!
It's also on itunes

play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hivebrain.andrewjohnson.drinking

@LikeaHurricane thank you. I'm willing to give this a go. Every little helps.. Well done on being AF for so long I wish I could fast forward the next few months but I'm sure I'm learning as I go along.

Have a fab weekend ladies. Enjoy your clear heads

Hi LikeaHurricane
Well done on almost 4 years sobriety. You must be so pleased. What an amazing achievement. I for one, would be really happy to hear your advice and tips from your own experience. I’m only on day 4 AF, but this is the first sober Friday night I have had in years. I actually cannot remember the last one! Your top tips for even the first month would be great. I felt weak last night as we had steak for dinner, late, and my DH offered me a red wine with it. I was pretty tempted then remembered the wee voice telling me to ‘ go for it is’ not my friend, and not to be listened too!

Well it's nearly 9pm and I'm on the Diet Pepsi 🥳 happy weekend!

well yesterday went fine, I started to cook tea and had a real urge for a glass of wine. had a glass of sparkling elderflower instead and put my pyjamas on as soon as the children were in bed. that, like I've read on here others have done, stops the temptation to go to the shop (my partner doesn't drink so there's no alcohol in the house as i just used to buy a bottle of wine when I fancied a drink). I'm up early with the children feeling fresh and about to go to park run. I hope everyone else is doing ok x

Day 4 here, Friday night a success in that no wine passed my lips, first Saturday at work for a very long time where I haven't felt groggy, tired and rubbish. Driving to work this morning, thinking about AF ( which I'm doing a lot of ) I felt quite postive and there was almost a feeling of relief at the thought of no more wine fuelled nights.
The longest I've been AF is about 30 days and found the earliest days easier than the later days if that makes sense! For those of you that have gone months, years is there a point where it isn't so difficult anymore, where you don't constantly count and think about it?