Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

Ooh mackerel fishing sounds like another world Madame! Don't you need trawlers and nets and so forth?!

Was just about to set off and get bed when realised I don't know the exact address. Luckily I checked before actually getting there as would be my usual error! So now am floating around the house unsure of what to do with myself.

Am thinking of moving Dd2 into the spare room which is bigger. Any ideas how to jazz it up on the cheap? Am thinking of adding some more colourful wall stickers.

And here

My first post on this thread. I've now done 18 days af and feeling pretty positive. This included a lads weekend away abroad which I managed to stay af during.

I've written a blog about my journey which I'd like to share if that's alright.

Link

New grandad - wow you’ve had a journey!! You must feel in control and proud of where you are and who you’ve become. Welcome. It will be nice to have you around to guide/pull us behind you.

Longest - oooo looks like you’ve got a project looming. Has your dd got any preferences? Will the bigger room double as a playroom?

Madame - mackerel fishing sounds great. I don’t like fish, but I like the ocean. Enjoy.

Dion - I hope todays been an easier one.

I’ve had a completely stressful shitty day. It’s involved several meetings about dd and being told how ill she is!! It’s also involved an argument with the school over provisions to care for her. Just feel like I’ve been hauled through a mangle!!
I’ve got awful IBS symptoms currently. They’re scaring me and I’m imagining them to be something far more sinister. Bloody health anxiety. Anyone else have IbS?
Got wine in the fridge. Accepted tonight it will be drunk and enjoyed!! Hoping the wine will cancel the Ibs symptoms!! Stress relief!!

Oh Flossie. Sorry the meetings didn't go well. Do they have a plan of any kind?

DH has severe IBS as well as ME. It's a massive pain and he's been tested for everything under the sun. They have all come back clear except pancreas function. He doesn't produce anywhere near enough enzymes. That in itself is liveable with though as you can take synthetic ones.

Room is already part playroom, as you can see (we inherited that giant dollhouse from a friend moving to America) so the idea is consolidation really. Though I also have a grown up study library (hahahaha) that doubles as a playroom. As well as my beloved bookshelves and chaise longue it has a toy kitchen and rocking train which they are probably grown out of (sob) and a play shop/theatre which they haven't quite.
So basically their stuff is in every room in the house. (Eg tip of living room attached) and my main reason for not moving them earlier was that they'd end up with uneven sized rooms. But I gave dd2 first refusal of bigger room and she turned it down so that's perfect really as dd2 likely to need playing space for longer. She's about to turn 4 so going to get a few bits for her birthday. I'm conscious though that the things she likes now (Peppa, rainbows, butterflies) may not stay favourites when she starts school. Am thinking some tropical birds could perch on those branches? And I saw some cool 3d butterfly decals.

Welcome New grandad! Really well done!

Longest tropical birds sound lovely. I’d say swap the picture over the fireplace for a round mirror (Ikea do a nice one), get some nice coloured bedding and a colourful rug. Job done.

DS1 and I went to Ikea last night, to get out of the house. He scared the shit out of both of us the night before, coming in in an absolute state. Seriously, if it’s not one it’s the other.

Welcome aboard Grandad. Seriously impressed you did a lads holiday AF. Were you a big drinker before? And how did it go down with the other blokes?

I’m considering wine tonight too Flossie. Although it’s the LocalLive music thing with all our boozers and cafes having bands on tonight, so I may take a stroll out later.

Extreme moderation on freelance Friday already. My usual Friday afternoon ‘I’m here for the WiFi, honest’ pint or two was just a schooner. 😇

DH went out with an old friend for lunch the other day. He's older than us and retired. He has been AF for decades after a problem with drinking. He's in a band now and the drummer is a former drug addict and still a bit troubled - leans on my DH's friend for support. He said for the first time in 20 years he wanted to walk into an off licence and buy a bottle of Glenmorangie (sp?). It reminded me of stressful friend and how you need to be careful not to let other people drag you down.

Another friend (more of a fellow parent really- our dds are pals) is trying to get me more involved in climate rebellion stuff. I feel I don't really have an excuse because what's more important than saving the world? But am also worried that I don't have much in the way of reserves at the moment.

@NewGrandad, I've read a couple of your posts and like them very much. Thank you for sharing.

Flossie, I'm so sorry about your horrible day. Health anxiety is hideous. I was awake with it most of last night. Hugs for you and your DD2.

Yet another failure of an evening for me. Another ridiculously long work day (this is the first chance I've had to get online, having got up at 5AM after absolutely no sleep at all). Shit day as a result. Failed at work. Failed to do something for DP. He was arsey as a result. He never notices what I do (namely pretty much everything for him), only what I don't do. I was very upset by this. Then DD had a go at me for some minor thing which I had failed to do. This was the final straw. I cried. Then she was nicer. But it shouldn't take that. And it takes a lot to make me cry, other than in extremely private.

This is all very selfish, I realise. Sorry. I'm loving seeing all the photos, though!

Oh Dion, that is far from selfish!! Crikey, no wonder you cried. I would’ve done too!! I spent most of today crying too. So we did it together!! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Dp is cruel to be that way with you. To not acknowledge what you do for him. He’s narrow minded (sorry). Dd is just typical teen. But dp has no excuse. You’re knackered, over worked and under appreciated. I’m reaching out and giving you a humongous hug. Share a glass with me!! Sod bloody moderating tonight!!

Dion I totally agree! I almost cried on dds through sheer tiredness today and I have not been up since 5am. And to have no support from DP is really shit and upsetting.

I too am about to embark on second bottle (between two but still). But it feels nice and I have had a good day really despite what I said about tears. Feeling happy, if knackered. And sometimes wine is a celebration.

Dion I'm lost for words. You are worth so much more. did and DP don't know how lucky they are to have you. You are fabulous and don't forget that. Thé most unselfish person. Maybe you should start saying 'no'.
New grandad hi and welcome
Not dry tonight but happy 😊 will run a lot tomorrow to make up for damage 😂

So worried about my health. I know I’m
Massively massively over the nhs recommendations. BUT i just want and need it!! I’m having about 1/2-1 bottle a night. Altho had 2 dry nights this week. Every glass I have is filled to the brim with guilt!! Anyone else feel like this?? How much makes the liver give up?!

I don’t know Flossie but I had a full blood count done recently and nothing came up,
I realised this evening how warped my thinking is. I had my 2/3 pint this afternoon, went home, cooked tea, watched Corrie, the angel on my shoulder was saying ‘see - you haven’t even thought about drinking, you are content. What else do you need?’
It was still saying that on the way to the shop, and as I perused the aisle for the wine I didn’t even fancy.
I had a bottle of rose and the devil was going, ‘right, what shall we have now?’ But with the shop shut and no booze in the house, all options are out.
It’s now midnight, I’m off to bed with a bottle of wine sitting in me, feeling no better than I did sober at 9pm. It hasn’t changed a single thing.
I wouldn’t normally AF on a Saturday but I’m tempted to, to see how it feels.
I had 48 hours on the wagon and felt more motivated and houseproud.
Sometimes I think I drink through lack of imagination.

I had 48 hours on the wagon and felt more motivated and houseproud.
NC4 Yes, I think you do, you spend more time doing productive things and generally feel better about yourself. I don't feel great this morning, had nearly a bottle of red last night and felt a lot better on my 3 AF days. Eyes were clearer and so was head. I felt more in control, more organised and didn't have that horrible guilty feeling that I wasn't functioning at 100% because I'd drunk the night before. I'm going out for a 10 mile run now and won't enjoy it as much as if I had been AF but that's my problem.
Flossie if you are worried then have some liver enzyme tests done. Although those don't always tell the full story. I think a lot of resistance to alcohol is genetic and I know if you do a lot of sport that offsets some of the damaging effect of alcohol too. Did you feel better the 2 mornings after your AF nights?

I agree NC4, I drink out of lack of imagination too.
Madame - I felt so so much better on the two days AF, predominantly due to not having the overriding guilt of having had alcohol.
Had about 3/4 bottle last night over about 4 hours.

Hey frouby - wishing you a fabulous romantic weekend away!!

Awww fanks Flossie. Am very excited.

Had a few beers last night and really enjoyed them. Mainly had beer because I felt really bloated and bunged up, despite the extra fruit and veg and portion of fibre on the sw diet. Beers tends to make me go. So that was my rather shitty excuse for drinking more syns than I should.

Feel OK this morning. Apart from the fact I have bastarding impetigo on my bastarding chin. Scratched it at the allotment on a bramble in the week and thought it was sore. Raided my medicine box and found some otc anti bacterial cream so been using that. Dh asked what it was, told him, then he pointed out I had actually bought it and used it on one of the guinea pigs. Fml.

Going to blitz the house shortly, have a nan nap then start beautifying my scabby self 😂.

Welcome newgrandad

Longest, say no to saving the world if you haven’t got the time or energy right now, save yourself first I say!

Flossie, longest and Dionysa, I’m so sorry you all were crying, I hope today is a better day 💐💐💐 (a bunch each!)

Frouby, lol at guinea pig cream

I was not AF last night, I’ve had 3 interviews this week and the last one was in Covent Garden, which made me want to go out for dinner, breaking both my AF streak and the BSD but never mind! Actually it made me want to be 25 again, having a night out with friends, drinking, smoking and laughing in a dimly lit, busy Covent Garden bar...back in the day, when you could smoke in bars! Does anyone get that feeling? It’s nostalgia I suppose. I utterly love my life now, so I don’t really want to go back but ykwim? I haven’t smoked since 2003 and don’t really want to, just had a drunken urge last night. But didn’t, obviously!

Came home and had a brilliant evening, went for Thai food, drank wine, then onto a bar for cocktails then came home, had more wine. So I drank loads but it was LUSH. Back to AF now until next Saturday, when we have planned to go out for dinner. Although if I get a job offer I will buy and drink champagne!

Still not bad! I didn’t drink on the last two days of April either so that was 18 days in a row AF.

Just lost my post after typing it, argh.

Newgrandad, I like your blog. Nice and concise. I started by reading Allen Carr and thought it was excellent.

Babysitter cancelled so posh take away from m&s. Will buy a mini bottle.

Water well done! I totally hear you on the wanting to be 25 again. Care-free nights out with friends are the thing I really miss from those days. Most other things I still get to do but we don't laugh anywhere near as much as we used to.

Had a nice morning with the DC though. They played quite sweetly together for once building a Lego zoo. Then we did my favourite lido trip. The staff were feeling human and even though they had cancelled the fun session because of a lack of sunshine (we are the only ones ever there on a full day) they took pity on me for having blown up two gigantic inflatables and found an extra lifeguard for us to have a quick go outside before heading indoors. Dd2 did her first bit of swimming without armbands. There was a photographer there taking pictures for the Council website and was quite taken with my girls and their giant unicorn and mermaid and she's going to send me the pictures, so that might be grandma birthday presents sorted! Now they are busy making fan decorations for dd2's party.

Dd1 is singing in a choir concert with an orchestra this evening so I am off to watch that. Should be fun and good for moderation. Which is just as well as slightly hungover, though also have my period which probably explains tears, but is a relief nevertheless given earlier scare.

Thank you for your lovely messages, tryers. I needed them. Not sure what's going on in DP's inscrutable head (he has family here ATM, so I am exiled). However, DD has been nice for 24 hours, which is as unusual as me having an AF night.

Longest, lido trip sounds good. I hope your DD1's concert goes well.

NC4, it's uncanny, the way you write exactly how I feel. Especially It’s now midnight, I’m off to bed with a bottle of wine sitting in me, feeling no better than I did sober at 9pm. It hasn’t changed a single thing

That's it in a nutshell. And by the same token, if I'm already sitting here feeling miserable, I don't need gin to help me. In fact, it can only ever make it worse.

So I have had another sluggish, hungoverish day. However, tonight will be AF because I am still thick-headed and am going to eat in 5 mins' time (so early for me). Then I am going to bed early too.

PMSL at the guinea pig cream, Frouby. Hope you and DH are having a fab time.

Water, one night not AF is more than reasonable!! It's funny, what you said about sort of wanting to re-live your 20s. I met XH at 19 and was living a very dull middle-class life by my early 20s. I never did the 'going out' bit, other than at university. I didn't go it when I was a teenager either, as I just liked being with my family, ponies etc. I regret this now, as I feel I missed out. My DC are far more enterprising about this kind of thing than I was, which I'm not sorry about (even though it causes me endless anxiety).

💋 Dionysa

Not AF today as dh suggested pizza so omg I’ve had loads of carbs AND wine. But lovely. And my period turned up so not quite the menopause, weird. Last time was Feb so I was thinking that was it but apparently not. Sorry for TMI. Which means, I hope, that my emotional state yesterday was hormonal and, also, hopefully, I will also drop a few lbs as let’s hope there was some hormonal bloat, anyway will be AF for sure tomorrow!