New Year, New Start. Probably dries and lows as we Tryers to be Dryers try 2019.

[Frouby]

New thread for the New Year.

Support thread for those who want to moderate and reduce alcohol. Absolutely no judgement, just advice and support. Absolutely everyone is welcome whatever your goals or hopes for 2019.

Am no good at clicky linke but there are previous threads and we look forward to continuing to moderate and reduce in 2019.

Especially today. 14 coming for 3 courses at 3pm and I have a raging hangover to start the year. Fml.

Thanks, Longestlurker, I too recognise the bedtime thing..... and feel like a terrible mother because I should be enjoying our special time together reading together and cuddling, instead I'm clock- watching thinking "ffs go to sleep!" Which is horrible and I hate myself for it.
I know I need to break the habit. And as for what do people do in the evening.... I'm hoping I'll have more time to get on with and care about the ironing, the housework, reading books again, baking again, being organised for the next day because that's the sort of person and mother I want to be.

I hear you shrunken and longest.
It occurred to me over Christmas that I’m regularly tipsy a few times a week and utterly rat-arsed at least fortnightly (often weekly).
This is not a good way to be.
I didn’t even drink this much at uni.
No more though (she says, looking forward to work do drinks tonight).

I think the evening thing comes from being exhausted from the day. Being a working single mum of two is hard work. Not as hard work as it was being married and dealing with him on shifts (and moods) but enough to make 7.30pm a sigh and sit down time.
I don’t have the energy or inclination to go to the gym or start ironing.

Can I join! I've been AF since Sunday which, going by the last couple of months, is a huge achievement. Hoping to remain AF for the rest of January. Watch this space!

Gosh yes NC4. I am not a single parent but DH by his own admission doesn't/can't pull his weight so a lot falls on my shoulders. And DC are bloody difficult. I came home in quite a good mood yesterday having had s reasonably productive day and they were both overtired and squabbling at that pitch that sets your nerves on edge. By the time they were settled my blood pressure was through the roof and I was practically in tears. What is the evolutionary advantage to whining? I'd be much better parent if I was given a tiny bit of mental space to regroup. Am wondering about replacing wine with bath oils and yoga videos. The prospect does not fill me with joy though. In the summer I do manage to nip out for a quick outdoor swim if DH is home in time but my motivation for a gym or run in the dark is nil.

Welcome my username- our achievements and ambitions match!

Hi everyone and welcome new people.

@Fiveshelties - we have the same goal ie: 3 AF days a week and less on others.

I really relate to the bedtime thing too but don’t be too hard on yourselves. My DC are older now but I used to feel that way when they were smaller and feel guilty about just wanting to sit down with a glass of wine. However, even my friends who didn’t drink that much also wanted to rush through bedtime sometimes desperate for some time to themselves (just without the wine). So, it’s not always about the drink but I know it’s easy to feel guilty about that.

I’ve just done 3 AF days this week so feeling quite pleased with myself. DH said he wanted some wine tonight so I have got a bottle of red to share later but am going to try and savour it, not guzzle it down! I feel much happier just having a few days off and realising that I don’t have to mindlessly throw shed-loads of wine down my neck every day! I haven’t found it that hard and I’ve had no anxiety this week. I know the challenge will be to keep it up every week and plan to hopefully, extend to 4 AF days.

Good luck everyone.

Thanks for the link. I am sooooooo hungover it's unreal, I have actually scared myself, I have been put on Lithium and should t be drinking at all, could have poisoned myself, I am very very lucky that I'm still on a low dose and drank lots of water. Even got refused service in a pub so went to another, alone 🙄 my kids are at their dads so I can get better and I've got drunk twice in the last week, I have got to stop. Well, I actually can't now or I will poison myself. So starting today (again) no more booze- I don't ever want to feel like this again- been sick so many times today, not a good sign🤢

Thanks @longestlurkerever. Ive gained so much weight the past year and it's all down to drinking wine. My Dsis gets married in the spring so I need to get back in shape for the wedding as I'm maid of honour. I used to be very active and although I enjoyed a drink it wouldn't even be every weekend. It's slowly crept up from every Sat to every Fri-Sun making exercise on a Sat and Monday morning impossible and has sort of bled to drinks throughout the rest of the week as well. I've been walking every day this week and eating a bit better but have a plan to start back all my classes and proper healthy eating as of next week. Have taken some meal inspirations from the Joe Wicks lean in 15 book for next week's meal plan. I can't wait to get back to my former self. I got to the stage same as a lot of others here where I couldn't wait to get my DD's to bed so I could chill with wine and I did feel bad. Also a Saturday once I'd finished work I'd be choking to start drinking. My DH is also a drinker and we kind of pull each other down, same with eating rubbish. He's now working weekends so hoping that'll help me to stay AF! It's so tough. My other downfall is I don't enjoy anything other than a glass of extremely fattening wine or prosecco. I don't mind a g&t but it doesn't bother me the same as wine. I have loads of gin in the house that I won't touch. If there's wine it doesn't last a night! I also don't like juice so can't substitute the wine with another nice drink.

Username you’ve basically described my healthy habits. I used to go to the gym 4x week, eat fairly healthily and have a night of takeaway-drinking at the weekend.
Since my marriage went tits up I’ve barely set foot in the gym, piled on 2 stone and started drinking almost daily.
We CAN turn this round.

Too ashamed. That is all.

Dropped my phone in the toilet tonight, something I have NEVER done when drunk! FML.

Dion don't be ashamed on your own. I have had 3 cans of lager. Fml. Fml. Fml. Purely because I was weak. Comversatiom with dh went like this.

'Do you want a gin doing love?'

'No dh, am being dry tonight. Felt rough this morning'.

'Oh, OK, are you sure?'

'Yes, am sure. Besides there isn't any ice. Can't drink gin without ice'.

'Ah bollocks, shall I put you some in?'

'No dh, lack of ice is stopping me drinking. It's fine'

'Ok. Do you want a beer though? They are cold'

'Yes'.

Fml.

TBF he's not being particularly helpful @frouby! Do you think he prefers it if someone else is drinking?

I'm still on with dry january, though today was one of my biggest tests so far as for me, work stress/anxiety/sadness is a huge trigger - today was the fourth day in a row I didn't manage to eat anything before 4pm (hadn't stopped), finished late with a shitty drive home and cracking headache and I really had the FUCKITALL mentality. Forced myself to keep driving past the supermarket on the way home so I wasnt tempted to buy tea and add booze - knew I could manage with what was in the freezer.
Bf is drinking but he has switched to a drink I can't stand which is helpful. Though it does mean I wont go anywhere near him as I can't stand the smell

And that frouby is called enabling, probably because your DH didn’t want to drink on his own.
Plus side 3 beers is a hell of a lot less ABV than 3 home measured gins

Finally managed to get a towed start today and got the car to the garage. Luckily it isn’t the starter motor it’s the electrical wire to the starter motor so much cheaper.
Still going to be £100ish but it’s good news!

Been quiet here. Just too ashamed too dion. Everyone here is doing so well with all the af days. I’m not even close to getting one!! Fml.
I am trying to stop before whole bottle. So done about three quarters instead of whole bottle. That’s about as much moderating as I can manage.
Dd2 home today ill again. She did two days!! That’s it!! 2 bloody days!! Fml

TBF I am wishing I hadn't started this dry January lark now. If I give up on it it'll be a fail and I'll be miserable but frankly I'm a bit miserable anyway. Had plans for relaxing evening but have spent most of it hunting for sodding V5 form as fuckers at the Council want your life history swearing in blood before they will grant you a parking permit and otherwise the car will be towed away. Plus I am still all hormonal and stressy as doctor was sick and cancelled my appointment to remove the coil that I am convinced is causing my low mood and irritability. And it's been sexless Jan as well as dry Jan because she said to avoid sex for 7 days before appointment and now I need to avoid it before new appointment. So everything feels a bit bleak and pointless. But obviously that means normally wine is the only thing stopping my life being bleak and pointless, which is itself bleak and pointless. Can't win.

Sorry Flossie, crossed posts. Feel a bit ashamed at silly rant now. I'm so sorry DD2 is poorly again. Will she be able to go back to school soon? x

Anglaise - I am in NZ, so it is the height of summer for us and very hot, hotter than normal so hoping if will cool down a little.

Anyone in this thread and making an effort is doing something @flossie44. Cutting down is still going in the right direction. Also I can recommend a stomach bug, followed by a stonking cold, followed by emergency dental treatment, as a way to disrupt a boozing pattern!

@longestlurkerever the main thing that's keeping me going is the determination to get some of this magical sleep and energetic mornings that are supposed to kick in soon.

NB sorry if I'm asking whats been covered in previous threads, but has anyone read the Catherine gray book? I've read it before but have been dipping into it for some motivation.

@Flossie44 - please don’t feel ashamed, there are people on this thread in all states of dry/wetness. Its clear you have a lot on your plate with your DD and her illness so I think you are doing marvellously by still managing to cut down.

It's just so hard isn't it? I find it a lot harder when DH is here as he's got zero self restraint and mine isnt much better plus I'm easily led. Not his fault though I just need to learn to say no. I used to be able to! He's nights at the moment so it's far easier as well as being nights every weekend for the
foreseeable future which is really helping as weekends are the worst time for me. I feel I've "earned" a bottle of wine! @NC4Now we can do this we just need to get back into the routine if it and start seeing results then we'll be fine! I'm so miserable the now. I used to be fairly attractive but at the moment I just feel like a big, fat mumsy frump because I look so terrible! That's what I keep reminding myself every time I want a drink or to eat my own weight in crisps or chocolate!

I'm not even thinking about trying to lose weight, since the wine has stopped I'm eating all the sugar in sight. Anyone cutting down on both at once is a hero in my eyes.

Day 4 looms. Had 2 hours sleep so far zzz