Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Would love to join in please. Am gradually increasing my AF days in the week (this year often manage 4 nights )but still drink too many when I do drink. Trigger is mainly stress- which can scupper the no drinking in the week, although holidays are an excuse too, and as this is half term I am trying not to give myself a free pass! 3 day group challenge would be fab and motivating. Day 2. Hello everyone!

Iamyourequal I had a love affair with wine for about 20 years, could drink a bottle in an evening with no adverse effects apart from broken sleep. But I'm 52 and with the menopause, sleep became more important, I didn't want to end up looking like an alcoholic, puffy eyes, red nose etc. so something had to change. I was a mad keen runner before, but it is easier now I've cut right down on booze. I didn't know if I would have to go AF completely but it turns out I wasn't addicted and can happily stop after 2 glasses of wine. If I couldn't I would have stopped drinking completely.

My goodness Anglaise you are doing really well to cut out drinking right through the week if you were previously a bottle of wine a night. Impressive. This is day 2 for me. I will be fine as long as DH gets home before 7pm so we can eat early. It’s the habit of a ‘pre-dinner drink’ that’s hard to break. A reward after a hard day at work! I just wish I was one of those women who has chocolate as their worst vice. That would be easier to manage I think. How is everyone else doing on day 2 of 3?

Yeah. Am not doing so well here.

2 x Budweiser down. Sigh.

Iam yes, the pre-dinner drink(s). Sigh.

I went to Tesco at lunchtime and emerged with a four-pack of AF pre-mixed G&Ts (12 cals per can, apparently), 4 x Becks Blue, and a bottle of stupidly expensive Seedlip. I thought I was possibly being ripped off, and I was right. It tastes like effing mouthwash, and not even the nice kind. Gah. No risk of developing a taste for that, believe me.

Bunty, you are doing brilliantly if you can regularly manage four AF nights in a row. I know what you mean about drinking more on the nights that you do drink, though. It seems to get you one way or another.

Frouby, it's even harder to try to motivate yourself when you've had reasons to drink a bit more again (wedding being a pretty big one!). This is my current problem, though I don't have a wedding, sadly . Anglaise is so right when she said on the other thread that the first couple of days are the really big hurdle. But if they were easy, none of us would be here.

Dionysa regarding the pre dinner drinks...I love my apéro so just have that and then switch to water with a meal, I never alcohol drink with or after a meal now. I have my drink before eating so there isn't time for a lot of drinks before eating. My downfall used to be drinking before, with the meal then with cheese after. A lot of calories as well as wine!

Welcome Bunty!

Frouby you are still on honeymoon so a couple of Beers is understandable! I’ve never heard of Seedlip Dion but thanks for the tip. I will know to avoid it now. Thankfully my AF tastes are pretty unsophisticated. I’ve always loved fizzy drinks, so if it can’t be prosecco, G&T, beer or cider....tonight’s tipple is diet lemonade with a splash of orange juice. I feel really proud of myself tonight. DH came home and suggested chilling down a bottle of white to have with dinner and I said ‘NO’. I still can’t believe I did it (we drag each other down lol) but I didn’t want to post on here that I’m the newbie and couldn’t do 2 nights in a row. Thanks girls and best of luck to everyone else. One day at a time I guess.

Hello all,
I've been catching up on all the successes, hard knocks, and slips, and while it hasn't been that long since I've been on, I've missed it and you all!
I've had most of a week off work, so I've been trying to keep busy and not lurk on the internet (another of my "soft" addictions.) There were several cookouts and nights with friends over the holiday weekend, so I got a bit tipsy, but on several occasions I avoided the last drink of the evening (which always leads to two. Or more ,) so I felt pretty good about it.
Now I've been out (drinking) to the chess club with dh and am excusing myself for continuing to stay up late. It'll all be good as long as I keep drinking water apace and actually get shit done tomorrow.

Iam, I'm with you. It's so frustrating when people talk about having half a bar of dark chocolate as though its a vice. I do understand the hold that desserts have on people, but since it's not my struggle I'm afraid I'm not as sympathetic as I could be. I really shouldn't talk. Any time that I've cut down or quit drinking my sweet tooth is happy to fill in the gap!

Sorry to butt in - I just have a life saving drink suggestion! Cordial and sparkling water is very refreshing and fills you up. This week I have been having a splash of orange cordial and polishing off 1ltr of sparkling water a night so feeling quite saintly. Well, when I say this week - today would be the 3 rd day. Sorry WILL be the 3rd day!! I’ll confirm tomorrow if/when all goes according to plan😐

Just peeping back in at you all from my holiday. You are all doing well and have a few AF days under your belts. Well done you all!!
As for me..bottle a night of wine still while away. I HAVE to become healthy when I get home!! I’ll be on here constantly on my return. My go-to will be a big full bottle of tonic with lots of cut limes in it. After the first, u actually convince myself it’s got gin in it!! It’s getting past that first one..and also stepping away from the kitchen where the gin hides!!

Checking in, Day 2 AF here.

Been a nice time away with family, have managed to grab some nice weather and pack in a country park walk and a swim at the lido today, fantastic distraction tactics.

Would normally be too much for me to do with the DC alone so I’ve been glad of the company- perhaps part of my problem... well certainly my stress. It’s made me had a bit of a reassessment of how I would like life to be and perhaps realise I don’t need to punish myself with over indulging and subsequent guilt anymore....

I’m not sure that I can go the whole month AF as I do feel that it would motivate me to have a weekend treat.

DP and I are having a few issues, we are both worried we may not be able to get past them and so are meeting to talk this weekend.

I think realistically I may not manage all weekend AF but certainly not near cracking today.

That said I don’t have many social events to go to in the next few weeks and am committed to counting a total of AF days, see how many I can achieve (suffice to say I was drinking daily )

Tactics will be keeping a low profile and avoiding friends that like a drink
Oh and soft drinks, all the soft drinks.....
Some good ideas on this thread definitely.

I feel I’ve made a start, and am interested to observe myself.

Thank you for the welcome! Unfortunately I was persuaded ie offered a glass, of wine last night at my sister's so back to day 1. I have no willpower, although I did have lemonade first. (We had a lovely eve tho )

Day 1 for me too! Had a bottle yesterday so no sleep and the fear when I woke I the night!! so fed up today. Good luck one and all.

Rupert: oh, the fear... It's hideous. So's the waking up. God only knows why I keep doing this to myself when I know this.

However, Day 2 here. Staggering through with 2 Tesco Almost AF G&Ts (0.5%). The evening feels very long.

Hella, agree that it's a good idea to avoid friends who also like a drink.

Bunty, we have all had numerous Day Ones. Believe me.

And Woosey!!!! I have missed you. Real life can start again for you in due course. You just need to enjoy the holiday now, especially after everything you have been through with your DD.

DP is abroad this week. In some ways, it's easier when he's away as I don't have to worry about whether I can see him as I know I can't. Sigh.

Day Three has been a failure. 4 x 40 ml vodka, thus far. Have to get up at 5 AM for work, though, so am going to try not to go any further...

Hi All. Dionysa whoops , I’ve been there before. Might be best to quit tonight’s intake now or 5am tomorrow is going to be hellish. Work’s bad enough without a hangover!

I have had one 35ml vodka. Going to have small bottle beer then small wine with dinner at most. I was going to make three AF in a row last night, but my DSs team won a great sports event after long season of hard work and seemed right to celebrate a little, so had 2 x 150ml glasses of wine. That’s better than my usual performance. I feel this week is going well. No miracles of sobriety but better than past several months , so making inroads. How are others tonight?

4 days AF and 2 glasses of wine tonight, around 200ml. Normal for me, don't want anymore than that ever.
Dionysa I hope you stopped after 4 and sleep well tonight, you have a very early start. Look after yourself
Iam your planned drinking this evening sounds very moderate, I hope you stick to it!
Hope everybody else has a hangover free weekend

Did not manage to stop, needless to say. But feel annoyingly sober. Ah well.

iam, it sounds as if you are doing well!

And Anglaise... I know I fail most of the time, but you are my inspiration.

Thanks Anglaise1 and Dion. I have sticked to my 3 planned drinks (and loved them all...,lol). Had uber stressful day at work so I think 3 instead of the ideal 2 is fair enough. Dion you don’t ‘fail’. None of us are failing. We are just working towards getting healthier and it’s a hard slog..,

Thanks, iam. You are of course right. Managed to get to work on time. Going to chuck the remaining vodka away when I get home.

Hello all.

Day 1 again here. Sigh. I am shit.

Going for a dry saturday and sunday. Ignoring the 1/4 bottle of wine. Ignoring the fridge full of beer. Ignoring the gin in the cupboard.

Focusing on my fat beer belly. And my 'to do' list which is expanding as much as my beet belly. And thinking if I can do a dry weekend I can surely be dry in the week.

I need to get back to a minimum of 4 dry days a week. And on those 4 days moderating as much as possible. We have BBQ next weekend at a friends house. I am already dreading how much I will drink and trying to work out what will be best to drink but not get drunk. I would take the car and drive but dh looked gutted when I said that.

Very long g and ts will probably be best I think. I can have loads of ice, a small gin and a lot of tonic.

I have drank an obscene amount in the last month and it has to change now.

How is everyone else doing?

Frouby. You are SO not shit. You are fab in every possible way.

Day One, aflippinggain, will be tomorrow for me. Long work day involved drinks, which led to further drinks at home. Can we try to change together? Not dramatically, but just enough.

Yep day 1 tomorrow really bad couple of days, it makes me really hate myself, not sure I can do this but I need to. I didn't have a drink Thursday and woke up feeling great and positive, I love that feeling but seem to always let myself down.

frouby I dread social events when I'm trying to moderate, I say to myself I will only have a couple it rarely works for me, your idea of long drinks sounds ideal just need to drink them slowly.

dion out of interest did u bin the vodka? Sounds like a lot of us are on day 1 again. Good luck to all.

I am fab actually dion. We all are.

Am shit at not drinking though 🤣.

Day 1 went easy enough. Day 2 today. Busy building a chicken run on the plot. That might not end well. Me and DH have form for falling out over diy. Perhaps now we are married that might change?!

rupert I hate feeling pissed. Which is ridiculous when you think about my 6 month struggle to reduce alcohol. But I hate feeling out of control. I will also have the dcs with me. Dd (nearly 14) gets arsey if I get drunk. And ds is only 4 so someone needs to be the responsible adult.

Am really tempted to not drink. We went last year to this BBQ. Love the hosts to bits. They were our best man and we went on holiday last year together. But they live in the village dh grew up in. Have known them all about 11 years and we used to socialise regularly with them.

I have very little time for most of them. The blokes are boring, arrogant and competitive. The wives I used to call stepford wives. They are all immaculately turned out with neat blonde bobs. Identical clothes from Fat Face and Boden. Nails done. They all met and married quite young. Judged me for having a dd from a previous relationship. Judged my little rental property. Judged my job on a butchers stall in a market. Judged my clothes. My hair. Everything. Blanked me in conversations.

I really tried hard to fit in with them all for 2 years. Then thought fuck it. And now I take the piss but in a way only DH and the hosts spot.

Last year when we went I drove. So while everyone got pissed I sat back and watched and it was pretty funny. Could see them all sniping and bitching at each other.

I really do try to see the best in people but I just can't find much to like after 11 years with about 8 out of the 12 adult guests that will be there.

Plus they were all invited to our evening do at our wedding and non showed up or even rspvd so that just about made me decide not to bother. If it wasn't for the fact I love the hosts I really wouldn't bother going.

So while dh is looking forward to going and mixing with the folk he grew up with I am not. And really don't want to get drunk drunk.

But they are enough to make me dive headfirst into a bottle of gin.

Host does some beautiful cocktails too. Lethal. But beautiful.