Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Spectacular fail here. FML.

Athena it was a bit of a fail for me. I had planned to be AF yesterday but ended up having 4 bottles of beer in the evening.

Next week I will try and limit to a couple on Friday and Saturday, although that will be a proper challenge for me as DM has offered to have DC overnight and usually I end up 'out out'.

However, to end on a positive, it was lovely to have no hangover this weekend. I did a Pilates class then took the kids and the dog out for the day with a picnic and I was all round very content.

Long may the hangover free weekends last.

Athena I've just read your posts.
Hope you're okay

Thomas, it sounds as if you are doing pretty well, all things considered. I am going to try this week. Monday being a clean slate and so on... Thanks for the . Not ok, but just have to put one foot in front of the other.

Finally de-lurking and joining this thread.

I’m decently sure I qualify...

I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since day dot. Out drinking on the weekends from the age of 16, three years of boozy university.

Had a horribly abusive relationship and then marriage with a binge drinking alcoholic. 2 DC. He let me and the DC down in every way thinkable, going awol, vomiting, being voilent when drunk to anyone who was in his way.

I’ve always held everything together but my drinking has increased since our recent divorce and dealing with the fall out of abuse and also coming to terms with a serious (but dormant) illness of my own-not drink related

I’ve never neglected my responsibilities to my DC in the way that their horrid father has and does, but I know I need to get a grip of my own drinking habits.

Evening wine is the poison for me.
And afternoon wine

I suppose it literally is poison, and it’s about time that I realised that!

I desperately want to cut back, I’ve managed it before.

I am fortunate in that I have moved on from a horrible situation, I have a nice house for the DC and I and even a lovely new partner, but I seem to be sabotaging things with the booze.

I’m here because I want to look after myself better, and would like the support.

That feels like a very self indulgent post, but I feel relieved.

Hope we can help each other :)

Athena I'm so sorry, it sounds like you are in a really bad place what's happened, has he just disappeared? You went AF for a few days on the trot before, can you try it again? Get something in you like, treat yourself, be kind to yourself, make sure you have something planned for that 'trigger time'. Is is possible to go and see friends, or a film, go swimming, even just go for a walk (the weather seems OK this week?) Walk and listen to a good audiobook or a funny podcast, anything to take your mind off your woes.
Is there any hobby you have or you could start? Or volunteer work? Anything to occupy you so you don't have the opportunity to drink even if you want to. I remember when I was with the Charming Bastard #1 and having a hard time, my world sort of revolved around him and when he wanted to see me. My mother told me to get a passion, I think she meant artistic like her, but instead I found my escape and happiness in running and the club where I met a lot of like minded fanatical runners.
So sorry not to be more help...another good book if you feel up to it is Catherine Gray's the Unexpected Joy of being Sober. Sometimes stuff like that can be good as it occupies your time and can also be quite motivating. She writes well, it's quite a fun read.
And remember, alcohol isn't the answer in the end, quick fixes don't work you need to sort out the cause of the problem and you can't do that drunk and/or hungover.

Jumping in if I may ... complex situation and to outing to give details but I need to cut down because of health issue ( but not my own)... I do a lot of entertaining in my job and without realising units have been totting up. Never had an issue and has shocked me how habit forming alcohol can be. We have enough at home to cater a party of 50 at the drop of a hat. Anyway I have decided to only drink once a week ... that way I can still drink at big events but I break the habit and my units reduce. I am on holiday ( at home) this week and had a day at the races on Saturday but.... it’s harder than I expected. Keep wanting to open a bottle of wine in the garden or have a gin in the beer garden. Anyway just to say that alcohol is much more of a habit for me than I realised. PS .... you look gorgeous in wedding pic

Athena we're all here for you - it will get better

Without going into detail, I had a huge wake up call last weekend. My behaviour was atrocious and to be honest, if my dh had behaved the way I did I would have packed his bags.

Just hope I can sustain it long term.

Welcome to new posters - I spend my time lurking and de-lurking!

I seem to start the week really well with the best of intentions and then go steadily down hill from there. I log my alcohol everyday on Drinkaware and the four week total is dropping - but very very very slowly. I had a breast cancer scare this month and decided that I was going to really reduce my wine intake, then the consultant rang to say all was good, and guess what ---- I opened the wine to celebrate!

Have a good week everyone

Morning all and welcome new people. I hope you all find support here.

Have been drinking every night since last Monday. And not just 1 or 2. 3 or 4 bottles of beer. Or cans. Or wine.

I feel fat and bloated. My eyes are puffy. I am tired and lethargic. I keep eating crap.

I need to have a good few days AF. My house is a mess, I have work coming out of my ears, and a to do list a mile long. Nit drinking will help I know.

I need to be AF from now until friday at least. Anyone else fancy a 3 night challange?

Athena . Hope you are ok.

Just on my way to work - but in haste, Frouby, I am up for a 3 night challenge. I need to be after the amount I have consumed in the past week. Too ashamed to log it on Drinkaware...

Working my way through, but have sent several DMs...

Athena count me in - out for long walk this evening, dog training tomorrow and badminton Thursday so surely that reduces time at least. Also reading Catherine Gray's book - the unexpected joy of been sober.

Hi All. I would like to join you all if that’s okay. I think a 3 day challenge would be a good start. I have been drinking too much for years, although I don’t imagine most people realise other than DH. I have been drinking almost every night for months now and I am fed up feeling so weak-willed and feeling cloudy and tired every morning and sleeping badly. I hope joining you guys will help. I know that finding other ways to cope with stress and anxiety are the way forward, it’s just getting into the habit I guess. I have read all the thread and it’s nice to hear your inspiring words to one another. I don’t have many friends and can’t tell the ones I do that I drink every night. They are so healthy and well behaved.

Welcome Iam. I wouldn't worry too much about other people and what they do or don't do. The first step is always recognising you aren't happy and then taking steps to reduce and moderate. I have.good days and bad days. But console myself with the fact I am actually having any AF days at all. I wasn't before starting this thread so at least I am slowly moving in the right direction.

Got your dm Dion. Welcome to the thread, all welcome here no matter what the circumstances. I hope you find support. We aren't a bad bunch.

Witching hour here. But am determined to have a nice bath later and enjoy reading fir a couple of hours. Spent all morning cleaning the house and changing beds. I need to do a massive declutter and am starting with 1 drawer or cupboard or shelf a day. I also need to deep clean my kitchen, clean my fabric sofa, dust all the skirting boards and pull furniture out upstairs and give it a good hoovering.

I love the warm weather but the windows open all day seems to drag dust and fluff in and everything seems a bit scratty atm.

Back later to do a head count on those who are trying 3 dry days in a row! Stay strong ladies. Think of the pee weight you will lose in 3 days and how slinky you will come friday. .....

Thanks for your words of support Frouby. It’s nice to be made welcome. I am doing fine on my first night AF, possibly because I’m felt yucky all day from overdoing things over the holiday weekend. I have plenty of soft drinks in the fridge chilling to get me through the week. My aim is to get to Friday night and then have 2 nice drinks maximum, same Saturday and Sunday, no drinking Monday to Thursday. I think this is doable and have told myself af least one of those days will be a stressful one at work, but that is no excuse for failing. How are others doing this evening? Does the lovely sunny weather help or make things harder?

Iamyourequal welcome, what you described is what I do and have been doing for 10 months. AF Mon - Thurs then a max of 10 units (one bottle of wine) spread over 3 evenings, never more than 3 units at a time. I've never drank more but often drink less than my rules allow. It is possible, willpower and keeping occupied in the evening helps...I do loads of sport so that takes care of most evenings. Good luck!
Frouby I guess I can't really join in the 3 day challenge because I'm always AF in the week but will be giving all of you who are doing it lots of support.

Tomorrow. Bad day today. Work especially so.

And thank you, Frouby. x

AF pretty easily tonight. Dh (still feels odd typing that) hasn't had a drink, I had a nice, long bath then worked for a couple of hours. Half term isn't the easiest to get stuff done in when ds is at home.

Just in bed now. Clean sheets, shaved legs and a clear head. Plus it's a bit cooler tonight so hoping for a lovely sleep!

Anglaise1. Thanks for your support. I saw your picture up thread, running. You look super fit, if I saw you I would never imagine you might be someone who ever thought they should curtail their drinking.

Hellabella how has your first day been?

Iam, welcome! I hope you find it helpful. It's a great thread, and has kept me going through some very bad moments.

Frouby, that is a splendid start. How did you sleep? I was awake at 1.30, 3.30 and 5 AM. My own fault. One of the things that went wrong yesterday is that the only shop I was near was M&S, and they didn't have a single non-alcoholic lager type thing. Obviously they have fruit juices, but they mostly have artificial sweetener in them, which I loathe. So I ended up making significant inroads into the cheap plonk which I bought for the older DC. Can't decide now if I have a stomach bug or a hangover.

Will visit Tesco today as I have an afternoon off.

Thanks all for the welcomes.

It’s day 1 for me today, day 1 of what I hope will be a month AF. We have a wedding to attend at the end of June and I want to look and feel nice.

I certainly don’t want to look like a bloated lush

Been trying and failing to moderate for about a year now after things really crept up on the booze front. I sincerely hope that a long dry spell will help me to moderate in the long run, certainly did after I abstained during pregnancy... talking of which I’m sure a lot of friends and family will assume I’m pregant as not drinking (definitely not)

I have to find anither way to reward myself after a long rather than pouring the wine.

I do like to exercise but I’m a single parent and the DC are too young to be left. I’ve realised I rarely watch tv any more and so will look at getting into a good series /box set etc.

We are travelling to see relatives today and will be staying there for two days, they aren’t big drinkers and I have told them I won’t be drinking for health reasons/on a diet so i feel this is a good starting point.

The DC can all play together and it’ll be a welcome distraction.

Hope you are all doing well, and have a good day xx

Good luck, Hella. Day One (again) for me, too. We can do this!! (Or at the very least, make an improvement).

Day 2 here.

Slept like a log Dionysa 😁. Was asleep by 10.30pm. Woke at 12 for a pee, then bang out until 6am which is my normal wake up time. Done 3 hours work and just about to get dressed.

I definetly miss naice drinks and do better if I have something cold othet than alcohol. I love ginger cordial and need to stock up. I have also found some nice little cans in B and M recently. Depends on the day and tje store but can usually get something.

Ferrying dd (13) around today and not picking her back up until 5pm so will avoid the worse bit of the witching hour. But we are having roast chicken and veg for tea so the temptation to drink while cooking will be strong. However plan to do all prep, shove chicken in before I collect dd then just finish off when I am back with a large glass of something nice but AF.

DH is also trying to be AF this week. He can be AF all weekend and not bat an eye but after work he comes home and grabs a can. Which is partly why I have taken to drinking every bloody night too.

Onwards and upwards tho.