Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

OH Flossie I am so sorry, that's really tough. Poor DD and you.

And Frouby, sorry about your aunt. But glad it's not inoperable, fingers crossed for you all.

Anglaise, impressed that you've been moderating for a year, I want to be like that.

Dionysa, have you read Queen Bees and wannabes? I have it on my kindle but have only dipped in. Teenage girldom is v v tough, my DD tells me similar tales. Good for DD but it's a hard one, standing up to a queen bee.

I was AF last night so that's 5 days this week. Definitely drinking tonight. But that'll be 5 days of the last 7 AF and a total of 44/48 AF (assuming I drink on Saturday too). I'd have been surprised if you could have told me I could do it 2 months ago.

Btw I think the whole of last year was probably 2/365 AF in case anyone things I'm being smug!

Oh and I didn't get the job. They've said they want me but not for the job I went for. But I only want THAT job so I won't be taking it further.

And we'll done howlong and littlewing 🙂

Flossie your poor DD and poor you, it is so tough and you have to stay positive for her but it must be tearing you up inside.
Frouby so sorry about your Aunt, at least the positive is that it isn't the worst type of cancer. I have a friend who had cancer in the lung and it was operated on and she is fine now, I hope it is the same for your aunt.
Dion kids can be horrid. Your poor DD. And DP. He doesn't deserve you.
Water sorry you didn't get the job, but at least you know you weren't hungover and kicking yourself that you could have done better for the interview.
I'm AF this week, finished with my FM last night by text, can't do it face to face as I've tried and he always talks me out of it. I told to call me if he ever manages to finish the current relationship with his complicated girlfriend but otherwise to leave me alone. He didn't reply.
Of course I didn't sleep well and feel shit this morning (even though I didn't have a drop of alcohol) and this morning I want to contact him but I Must Stay Strong. A very small problem compared to some of you here.

Flossie poor you and poor dd. What a horrid way to end what must have been a big day for both of you.

Angalise you are very strong, and fwiw doing absolutely the right thing. If he truely loves you he will end things and be with you properly.

It's lovely having fresh eggs daily, we get a few double yolkers too, it's like a lovely eggy gift.

Dion 14 year old girls are vile. It's taken 3 years of secondary for my dd to stand up for herself. Fortunately apart from a vile girl who lives at the back of us we haven't had many friendship issue. We did have a couple of incidences with the vile girl using social media to bully and harrass dd, but I forwarded screen shots to her mother, told her it stops or I will be taking matters further. They are a bit rough so half expected her knocking on the door and chinning me but she didn't thank fuck. Had to brazen it out to show dd she has to stand up for herself but I was bricking it.

Had a good few drinks last night. 4 bottlea of bud and 1 can of carling. But I managed to refrain from opening the wine. Would have drank the full bottle and ended up feeling shocking instead of slightly bleurgh.

So busy today. Been up since 5am working, done school run, now got a payrun to do, pay a VAT bill, nip to tescos, feed my chickens, walk the dog, stick hoover.around then cousin should be here for moving in day. Helping her for afternoon then got a birthday meal for my mum to get to for 5pm.

Can I join you? I’ve been lurking for a while. I really need to lose the wine habit. I think it really is just an appalling habit (which makes it even crazier that I haven’t stopped) but it’s been going on so long now it’s hard to shift. I’ve done dry January a few times but apart from that I don’t think I’ve had more than a couple of nights a week alcohol free for years. Gosh when I type that it seems shocking! How much have I spent and what must my poor liver be like?!! Anyway I think drastic action is called for. I’m aiming for 90 days alcohol free (gulp!) I need to lose a shedload of weight, I’m nearly 50 and I’ve got young children. I don’t want to ruin my health, I have friends with serious health issues through no fault of their own and it seems somehow insulting for me to jeopardise mine when there’s no need. Yikes! Once I press post I’m committed! Wish me luck! I’ve found this an inspiring thread, it’s good to know I’m not the only one.

Hi. I'm back.. so I had a few disgraceful drunk moments (won't detail as I think I'm identifiable on here), none of my clothes fit me for my birthday party and my house was chaos (passing out on sofa most nights). I think my kids were probably not getting the best of me either. It was very depressing. So I'm properly cutting back now by doing slimming world (more or less). I seem to be able to stick to a diet better than af days..not sure why but the drive to succeed differs. I just had two weeks in Spain and longer off at home so just getting back on it as I certainly wasn't doing it there.

Sorry to hear of all the stresses. I will catch up with the full thread over the weekend. 2 g&ts tonight. That's all I have so it will have to be it.. how to have a wine free weekend I'm not sure. It's wine I definitely find hard to stop. Is that the same for orhers? Happy Friday everyone.

Feel horrendous (own fault). Fell asleep on the sofa mid cry, and woke up in a panic at 3 AM. Then slept very badly. Felt sick and thick all day. So I am going to bed and will catch up properly tomorrow (AF today, as I couldn't face anything else).

Very quickly...

Flossie, hugs. I hope you are ok.

Frouby I hope the move went well. And thanks for moral support with DD. And thanks to you, too, Water. I haven't read, but will! Sorry you didn't get the job you wanted. But it's nice to be wanted by them, even if not for the right job!

Cotton, I know those moments.

Operation, welcome. If you have done Dry Jan, you are a better woman than I am!

Anglaise, he does not deserve you if he can't ditch the GF. But that doesn't make it any easier. x

Dion hope you feel better today!
Operation I'm nearly 53, 2 kids 17 and 11 and I've never been fitter or healthier in my life, there is definitely life after 50! I've been moderating for a year and no desire to go back to my near nightly bottle of wine habit. I lost 6kg when I cut back although I do a lot of sport, but I did before cutting back on the booze so it definitely makes a difference to your weight.
Well, I'm quite shocked, but FM has actually finished with his GF after I said it was finished with him if he didn't Not sure how things will go from here, he didn't say he had met someone else so no doubt she won't give up that easily and as he is kind and she has problems he will continue to have some contact with her. Anyway, for the moment I'm just so happy that he responded in that way because it was a risk giving such an ultimatum, he does love me after all
Have a good weekend everyone!

That's amazing amazing news anglaise, bet you are absolutely thrilled to bits. You deserve his 100% commitment and the GF will just have to get a grip. It sounds harsh but she isn't your problem or his now.

Feeling a bit rough this morning. 3 glasses of wine and a can of lager last night. Not horrendous but enough to make me feel rough this morning. We are having an indian takeaway tonight so will probably have a couple of drinks tonight.

Currently trying to get the downstairs prepped for decorating. Am bloody knackered already! Have scrubbed the walls and paintwork in the downstairs loo and back hallway with sugar soap, evicted any cobwebs, pulled everything out and cleaned behind it and generally had a good fettle.

Debating starting the kitchen but have had a sandwich and lost my impulsion now.

Anglaise... well, good for him. I am glad FM has seen sense. I just hope it all goes smoothly now, and that the ex GF doesn't hang around too long.

Will be damp tonight as going out with DP. Typical that he should suggest it just when I have decided to do a second night AF, but I am not going to say no.

I am impressed by your cleaning activities, Frouby. You can come and do mine when you've finished.

Hi all

So I went to AA for the first time last night. It was the most dispiriting thing ever. I left wanting to cry but couldn't because I can't cry anymore since being on ADs!

It just properly wasn't for me. The whole time I kept thinking "I'm gonna drink tonight"... Just to prove to myself that I could because I am 'not like them'. But the truth is a lot of what they said resonated with my struggle and I know full well that if I were to open a bottle of wine I'd drink it all, and then some.

It was a shame as I have been on such an AF high all week and that brought me back down a little. But. But I had already decided to not have a drink 'just because its Friday' and I stuck to my resolve, and DH joined me, and I cooked some tasty Mexican food and had a can of San Pellegrino and fell asleep tired, rather than trollied.

5 days AF. I feel good. Will probably aim for 6 today just to prove myself that I don't have to drink because its the weekend.

I’ve found this an inspiring thread, it’s good to know I’m not the only one.

@OperationTransformation I only joined the thread this week too and feel the same way.

I'm sorry I'm not chipping in with advice for all you lovely people, I don't want to be disenginious as I don't know all the stories properly yet but you all sound as though you are taking on such big loads in life and doing the very best you can to be there for all the people that need you. You are all awesome.

Hey littlewings, so what? AA isn't for everyone, don't worry if it's not for you. (Meant kindly)

Woo Hoo Anglaise- progress indeed!

Drank last night but omg, had such a fab evening: dinner out with dh and snogging and fab shagging and just great night all round. God, I love him. And am drinking tonight, a bottle of wine, have had a lovely dinner with dh and kids - he cooked - and we're about to play a game together so feeling happy 😊 . Will drink more but think it's fine, very happy and pleased that I've managed AF 5 nights out of the last 7

Good morning all
I have drunk Fri and last night but only had two vodkas on Fri and three last night. I am not sure how I feel about it or whether I will drink today but my plan is to definitely go for dry Mon-Thurs .

I am doing a lot of thinking but my thoughts are too jumbled to get down.

littlewings you were brave to try it. I've got as far as telling myself I will and putting in my diary, but also tell myself I'm not like them.

I watched a film called Fat recently and guy went to a similar group. Found it a really interesting film. I imagine a lot of parallels with AA. It's based on a true story of the directors life I think.

I've done pretty well this weekend. No hangovers which is a first in I don't know how long. I think my family and jobs list noticed.

Evening all.

Dry tonight after a bit of a boozy few days. Drank a bottle of wine, 3 or 4 cans of lager and a G and T over friday and saturday. Not horrendous but have slept terribly and eaten crap both friday and saturday.

These was an awful incident last night on the road behind me in the early hours of the morning. A woman was the victim of an awful, awful assault by her partner/ex partner. Woke up to police everywhere, and the helicopter overhead, police dogs and everything. I don't know if she survived but was alive when ambulance took her. Really shocking to think about.

Am now in bed, and going to read and have an early night. Enjoying not drinking and looking forwards to a couple of hours reading!

Anglais - I’m so glad FM saw sense. Remember to stay one step ahead of him 😉
Little wings - you were so strong to try AA. And by doing so, have shown determination and a detailed thought process into taking control. Well done you!!

Dion - how you doing lovely?

Frouby - well done on AF

As for me, went away for weekend with dh and both dd’s. was just what was needed. Only trouble is I drunk lots.
Tonight we went out for dinner with ds and his girlfriend. He leaves for uni next weekend. I decided I’d drive. I never ever do that!! But I felt it was important in the bid to try AF. Sooooo I’ve been AF tonight. First time in about 6-8 weeks!! Feel so proud. By also know there will be times this week where I turn to wine. Dd2 is going back to school again tomorrow. I’m praying she will be ok. She needs to be at school but I also feel scared of her going..again!!

Flossie, I so hope your DD is getting on ok today. And big whoops on your AF night. I was determined last night, to no avail. Wet the night before as I went out with DP (though could have been worse - a G&T and half a bottle of wine). No excuse for last night, other than feeling mopey.

LittleWing, I'm sorry AA wasn't for you - but you are several light years ahead of me for even trying it. I categorically refuse to try it, on the evidently very wrong, to judge by my lack of success thus far grounds that I can deal with this myself .

What a shocking tale, Frouby. No wonder you fancied an early AF night and a book.

Cotton, that's great. Especially at the weekend!

Howlong, my thoughts are pretty jumbled, too.

Water, 5 nights out of 7 is brilliant. And what a lovely night you obviously had. I am so happy for you!!

I want to cut back on drinking but I have three days off of work so feel like I should celebrate while I have some freedom. I seem to be averaging a bottle a day since friday so .... eek!

How did your daughter get on flossie?

Monday blues, but no booze in house except ancient spirits I don't like.

Hope she is ok Flossie and managed a full day.

Day 2 in the bag here.

Am absolutely bloody shattered, don't know if I am coming down with something. Am in bed already! Going to read for a bit then hopefully have another good sleep.

Well done on Day 2 Frouby** I hope you feel better tomorrow
Flossie I hope DD is OK and glad you had a good weekend you deserve it
Little wings AA worked for my brother but it isn't for everyone I certainly wouldn't go there. I found the Club Soda group very good on FB
Dion hope you are OK and things are easier with the DC back at school
Water life can be fun without a lot of booze and sex is definitely much better
Speaking of which I had an excellent weekend and today with FM although his now ex phoned him a lot (he didn't reply) but I suppose that is to be expected in my experience French women don't let go easily.
I think I went over my 10 units last week but only to around 14 so still OK. No desire to drink alone weekday evenings and even with FM only get through 2/3 max of a bottle of wine between us. Don't want anymore!

Anglais - sounds like you and FM are having a ball!! You prob not got time to drink more wine with all that fab sex you’re having 😉

Frouby - well done on day 2. Hope you’re not coming down with anything and you feel better in the morning.

Dion - how’s things??

Hi to everyone else.

So dd did a whole day!! So soooo chuffed. Dropped her off this morning, turned and walked away with tears streaming down my face. Was just petrified about leaving her. I couldn’t relax all day, felt physically sick!! Anyway she did it!!
And.....I’ve nailed day 2!! Drink diet lemonade all evening!! Can’t quite believe it!!

Flossie..... I don't know what to say. DD doing a whole day at school, and you doing Day 2!!!!!! That is just so brilliant. I am going to try to be inspired by you and Frouby, as I'm currently not even managing Day 1.

Anglaise, so happy to hear about FM. I thought the GF might put up a fight, especially if she has been using him for emotional support.

As said, I didn't manage Day 1 last night. No excuse at all. Sigh.