Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Frouby 2k win wow congratulations that merits a big celebration!
Wet hope you feel better today, I don't miss hangovers at all
Frouby I gave up with that series during the first episode, am enjoying Bodyguard but not as much as Line of Duty
I did a relay race with my team yesterday evening and we were second. FM had a party his GF was there but he sent me messages all night (until 7am) so I think he really does care. I was wet last night, 2 beers after the race with the team and a glass of wine preparing dinner. Am worried as one lot of guests who arrived yesterday are awful, a German couple with 2 dogs, when I went to say hello they were both drunk as skunks and smoking in my house - I made it clear it was no smoking. She also broke a shelf in the fridge and that's just the first night they are here for 2 weeks

Sorry meant Flossie and not Frouby for the series and no I don't get palpitations, although I might over the next 2 weeks with the German couple staying

Oooooofffffff.

Have a cracking hangover. House looks like a bomb has gone off. Head feels like a bomb has gone off.

Can someone make me a bacon buttie please.

Also a coffee. And bring paracetamol.

Frouby... 2K?!?!?!?!?! OMFG. I would be hungover now as well, if I were you. What brilliant news...

Water, I think many of us are at that kind of age/stage. I feel kind of redundant as the DC pretty much do their own thing - but they're not yet old enough for me to do my own thing.

Too much to drink last night, and hideous beer-fear and two hours awake at 3 AM. I need to try to remember this. Flossie, I do get palpitations, and I hate them.

Anglaise, I'm so sorry to hear about the Germans. And I am so full of admiration for the way you are handling the situation with FM.

really need to cut down - had a gin and tonic and now a glass of wine - but no more wine in the house and am in my PJs so no going out - I am late 40's and been having a horrid time - 3 close family deaths, job worries and major relationship issues, but guess what alcohol doesn't help!

Hi wrongwayup, welcome to the thread 🙂

Wow at £2k, that's fab! And ouch at hangovers too.

I drank wine again last night last night but am AF again today, will stay that way until the 14th. I think. Depends on this week. If it's a crap week I will drink on Friday night but not until then...

Wrongway, we are in the same boat. Nothing left in the house, and I am not getting dressed again!!!

I am really sorry to hear about your horrid time. I know horrid times all too well. And we all know alcohol doesn't help with any of those things, but it kind of numbs it in the short term. Which is why it's so evil.

Water, you can do it. You have done it! I am completely failing. The school holidays have finished me off. DC plotting vile ways to murder one another today. We are all sick of the sight of one another. Only 4 days to go until I get a break...

Fml. Drinking again toooo much tonight. I just can’t stop. I can’t face a night without wine. Just so bloody hard. Have no strength. Dd has been home from school for 4 months and I’ve found it so difficult. Emotionally difficult because of her illness, and physically and mentally difficult due to not being able to have space. But then I feel desperately guilty for wanting space as she’s so poorly.
Anyway..we aim for her to try to go back to school Thursday. The entire thought of it and the fear of her becoming so poorly again fills me with the need to drink to blot it all out. I know wine isn’t the answer but I have no way of knowing what the answer is right now. It’s so bloody hard. And it’s shit cos in the real world, I can’t voice this all, as ill either cry or upset someone else.
Fml and fml again

Good morning all.
flossie I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. I don't know the story of your dd but it sounds so draining. Will keep my fingers crossed for an easy return on thursday.

I have had a bit of a soggy weekend but did have a good chat with dh about our drinking. We both agree that it is too often and we need to cut down so hopefully it will help having both of us on the same page.

The plan is to just be more mindful about our drinking and to stop reaching for one just because it's dinner time. Ideally I would like to be af mom-Thurs so we shall see.
My plan is to not have a drink today . Also I have started a health kick today to lose the lard so hopefully that will help keep me on track a wee bit.

Hope everyone ok this morning. Back to work tomorrow so going to make the most of my last day .

Awww Flossie, it must be so bloody terrifying for you all. And hard work as well. I think I would be absolutely pissed as a fart every single day if I were you .

Am going to be dry today. Had a few beers yesterday to try and chase away my hangover. Fml. Still got headache this morning but think that's because I have had too much sleep.

Dd is back at school tomorrow but ds not while Thursday. Todays plan is lots of housework, getting uniform ready and generally getting back in a routine.

I am also on a diet. We are booking a holiday this week for middle of December so I have about 13 weeks to lose a stone.

Hi Flossie, bereavement is bloody hard and sorry your dd is ill, that must be hard too. Does it help to think of it being kind to yourself if you don't drink? Or not? Ignore me if it doesn't!

Frouby a stone in 13 weeks is very do-able imo. I've just lost nearly 2 stone in a month (am huuuuuuuuge though so loads to go) on the 8 week blood sugar diet, if you can bear it. I'm envious at a holiday, it's 7 weeks until we have a break from work again, sigh...

I am day 2 AF and intending to stay that way. I reckon it's taken me 2 days to get over Friday and Saturday and it's just not worth it. I look shite this morning, piggy little eyes, red face, fat arse, quite the vision of loveliness!

I paid for and downloaded an Ailsa Frank hypnotherapy drink less thing ages ago so my technique for this week is going to be to go back to large jugs of water, lemon slices and ice, listen to the hypnotherapy things and take to my bed early, with a pile of books and magazines. DD and I spent £££££ in WH Smith on Saturday so I have some interesting stuff to read so not drinking will make that more pleasurable too.

Oh, Flossie. I would be doing exactly the same. We all know it isn't the answer - but I for one also know the feeling of drink taking the most acute edge off the awfulness of the rest of existence, even if only for a while. That's why we keep doing it, despite the beer fear and palpitations and health anxieties and everything else that we hate about it. It just takes the edge off unspeakable awfulness. for you and your DD.

Frouby, I think we need the routine thing, too. DD is still bleating on about needing yet more fineliners, felt tips, rubbers, biros, blah, blah. I pointed out that she already has many of these things, but apparently I don't understand how important Year 10 is. She has compiled a list that amounts to £50. I said not likely, and have had an afternoon of her whining that it's NOT FAIR, and I DON'T CARE. I went to Tesco and sat at a bus stop for a while, just to get away from it. FML.

Water, I'm interested in your Ailsa Frank hypnotherapy thing. I will investigate this further. Though not tonight, as DP has upset me greatly and a combination of him and DD is more than anyone can reasonably bear. AF starts when everyone is back at school, I think.

Howlong, it's good that your DH is on board too. At least you can encourage each other. One thing that's hard is trying to do this without telling anyone IRL...

Frouby one stone in 13 weeks is very doable, I lost 5kgs in 8 weeks when I cut back on wine (but I stopped eating cheese too I think that helped cos I ate a LOT of it).
Flossie it must be so hard for you, I hope things improve for your DD (and for you of course!)
Water I used the Alyssa Frank hypnotherapy recordings to start with too, then had a few sessions of real hypnotherapy to get me started with the stopping if you see what I mean.
Dion for DP and DD, I mean for you for putting up with them both.
Ongoing saga with FM I can't cope with the situation probably better if I don't see him until/if he finishes with his complicated neurotic GF. He said he would tell her he doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as her now but I really don't believe him, how would I ever know? I was happier on my own and dating the occasional nice-if-not-BF material guy via online dating from time to time. But I'm still not drowning my sorrows, that doesn't solve anything (honestly!)

Hi all, I am posting under a NC today until I feel safe to post as myself, if that's OK.

So... First day AF in at least a month, honestly can't remember when it last was. And of course I'm so wired I can't sleep! But also feel so proud I wanted to message friends and family but then they really would be worried!

I have read the first couple of pages of this thread and you all sound so lovely and supportive, but also seem to be exactly where I am... Stuck in a rut with pernicious battle with overdrinking. Hearing you all talk about your struggles makes me relieved that I am normal and not a suitable candidate for MASH/Social Services as a key worker I was assigned to after seeking help took upon himself to decide

I have 3 kids, they youngest is 8mo, the eldest is 10 and being assessed for ASD. My DH is fab and is one of these that can moderate his drinking comfortably but has joined me in Mon-Thurs AF as he can see how much I'm really struggling.

I had a counselling session today and a few things she said hit home: the impact on my liver, on my longevity, my wallet, being 'there' for the kids, exacerbating my depression, cancelling out the effect of ADs... And also the slight look of shock when I told her how much I can drink in an evening. And I wasn't even being 100% honest.

So lately, it's been a bottle of cava a night, each topped up with a flavoured gin, or on holiday in Italy they were topped up with aperol. And then a few generous single malts.

After drinking, I get a bad tummy, the fears, the guilt, forgetfulness, my wee quite worryingly sometimes smells like wine and I am exhausted all the time - on top of looking after the house and 3 kids.

One helpful thing that came from my counselling session today was her suggestion of AA meetings... It hadn't really occurred to me but she has 'rescued' me from the Alcohol services I had originally sought help from (and who scaremongered me with the term 'child protection issue') and is trying to do anything to help me so that I don't end up back in Alcohol and Rehab's clutches.

Not sure I am supposed to do a mini bio but it looks like I just have. I can't sleep... Like I said!

Look forward to sharing the highs and lows with you all and motivation and support.

MadhouseMa - you really have come to the right place. And really, you don’t have to feel embarrassed here. We are all there too and walking the same path, if not at different stages.
I drink a bottle of wine a night and worryingly it often doesn’t have much effect. My problem is that I don’t enjoy any other soft drink. I can’t find one that I love in order to swap in!!
Will be back later but just wanted to hand hold and help you along this path of recovery with us all.

Anglais 💐

Good morning all and welcome to madhouse I have only been here for a few days but it is definitely helping .

I was af yesterday and my plan is to do the same today.
It is a friend's funeral today , first day back at school today so I can't go but my dh is going. I know the wake will be a boozy affair and when I finish work it will still be going on but my plan at the moment is to stay dry.

Anglaise I am very impressed that you are staying dry through all the FM saga.

Madhouse, I think all of us here will know that Day One is an immense achievement. So much of our problem is habit, and breaking the habit - even if only for one night - is a major first step. Flossie puts it very well, about us all walking the same path.

I had an awful evening. DP was being his usual elusive self - and then DD and her demands for more Stuff/money continued into the evening, when I looked at my online banking and realised the extent of my overdraft. I cried, a lot (partly to do with gin). To her credit, DD has been very sweet this morning and now says I don't really need to buy her yet more stationery. I do of course realise that I would be less overdrawn if I didn't drink, and that spending more money on alcohol is just stupid. I think most of us have had this kind of conversation with ourselves.

What I need to do today is try to restore some order to the house before DD goes back to school. It looks as if the proverbial bomb has gone off in it. Not helped by the DC, whose version of unpacking suitcases involves opening them so that the contents end up on the sitting room floor, and then ignoring them for the rest of the holidays. It's a battle of wills, and merely ends up with me feeling frustrated.

Howlong, I hope you stay strong.

Anglaise... You are such a strong and brave woman. If FM doesn't appreciate this, he is not the man for you. Though I am hardly qualified to advise anyone on relationships. It's always easier to see it when it's not your own feelings involved.

@Flossie44 thank you... I guess I'll change back to my usual handle at some point, I'm not embarrassed I guess just wary of outing although if it's never happened before it wouldn't be likely now! Yes, same as you a bottle of sparkling wine, and as I always know how quickly I drink it I end up adding stuff. So for example on Sunday evening I did this and didn't realise how gone I was until I got into bed and couldn't read my phone

The term tee total fills me with fear, I'd like to moderate, I really would. I feel really positive about attending my first ever AA on Friday evening, in my mind it will be a glamorous affair and I'll feel like a troubled hero from an American series. How sad! I have a couple of friends who teeter on the edge of insanity with booze, like me, but I think I'm probably not as completely honest with them as I might be with strangers.

@Dionysa I had stationery-gate with my DD too. And then drama about her new uniform and why do I label it all? No one else's mum does that. And on and on and on. I feel your pain!

Was day 1 yesterday. Had a lovely sleep after a very boozy weekend. Feel 100% more productive today.

Avoiding the lure of gin/lager/wine tonight by doing the dcs tea now, then a bit of housework, then our tea then some paperwork tonight.

Have been busy all day which always makes me want to drink more but apart from anything else I am too fat for my holiday clothes so need to slim into them.

Welcome Madhouse. I hope you find this thread useful. Even if it doesn't keep me AF it does make me try a little bit harder to keep gin in the cupboard and not my glass.

Good news from my cousin today tho, they have finally exchanged on the house they are buying and complete on friday. We were beginning to think it would never happen but now she can relax a bit. Well, start packing anyway.

Dd was back to school today, ds not while Thursday. Am going to try and blitz the house tomorrow with ds. Hospital Thursday with aunt and cousin, then completion day friday for cousin and I said I will help out for a few hours. So busy, busy, busy.

I guess I'll change back to my usual handle at some point, I'm not embarrassed I guess just wary of outing although if it's never happened before it wouldn't be likely now!

Hahahaha! I just did it to myself didn't I?! And that's without alcohol

I am MadhouseMa but more commonly known as LittleWingSoul on Mumsnet.

Doh!

Day 2 AF and still feeling positive and emboldened. Have been able to control my irritability and organise my day better. Helped that 1 out of 3 kids were at school so was up early, back in the park after school and chatting to the school mums. Fresh air and good company.

Welcome madhousema 🙂

I'm day 3 AF here, feel fine, happy, reckon it took me until today to get over drinking on Friday and Saturday tbh so my tolerance had definitely gone down.

I did buy wine in my online shop and will drink on Friday but not before. I reckon that's ok, it'll be something like 44 days AF out of 48 so only 4 days. I'll see. Dh and I both have tough weeks at work so are looking forward to Friday. And it's only Tuesday fgs!! Knackered!!

I absolutely HAVE to do AF tonight. Had wine with friends last night. Didn’t drink loads, maybe half a bottle. Then came home and had another large glass. Dh commented. Then a friend text and mentioned about drinking mid week. Made me feel so bad!! So tonight I have to try. Dd1 is back to school today and dd2 has her first day back tomorrow after 4 months. I need to stay dry for them. I really would be proud of myself as i can’t remember the last dry day.
I’m kind of begging myself to do this. Know I have half a bottle of white in the fridge too which isn’t a great help.

flossie take the wine out of the fridge, then it's not as tempting..

I will be dry with you tonight. Had 2 dry nights on the bounce and ds starts school tmrw so want to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for that. We can do this.

Once I have made up my mind to be dry I am finding it easier and easier to stay dry. I am enjoying better sleep, being more productive in the day and hopefully losing some weight. I will probably be damp tomorrow, it's results day for my aunt.

But my lovely cousin completes on her property on friday so will be busy helping her so damp rather than soaking wet.

Have also just remembered that ds coats propbably don't fit so may have to bomb out and buy one, was a bit chilly just now letting the dog out.

Lots and lots and lots of housework to do today. Hmph.

Frouby, that's great news about your cousin. What a relief all round, especially when you all need good news.

LittleWing, well done on Day 2. I will be very interested to hear how you get on on Friday. You are very brave to admit that you need help. I would admit it, but I'm too scared to (also have this idea, probably wrongly, that I can do this on my own).

Flossie, how did you get on last night? I can only begin to imagine how you must feel at the prospect of school for DD2 on Thursday.

Water, 44 AF days out of 48 is flipping amazing.

I managed Day 1 last night (the first in a while). I was feeling horrible after too much gin the night before - but also the usual horror/shame/misery about having had a phone call with DP while I was obviously drunk, the DC having noticed (they didn't say anything, but they couldn't have failed to notice). I absolutely have to find a way not to go down that route. Tonight will be much harder, though, as I feel fine today, so will feel the urge at 6PM.

Kept very busy with tidying, putting stuff away etc last night, which helped, so I will try to do the same tonight.

Oh, FML a million times over. Had a completely unexpected visit from a university friend today. He brought wine, for lunch. We had a great time, including the DC who are not yet at school. But I have spectacularly failed on the AF front.

On the positive side, I did make a decision to drink, in the circs. Which is arguably better than doing it just because it's 6 PM.

Onwards and upwards tomorrow.