Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

As predicted not AF. Only 2 cans of lager though so not horrendously bad.

Just about to make a cuppa then do a couple of hours work.

I really want to win the lottery and buy a big fuck off house with stables and land.

The problem with livery yards is that they are usually full of women. And bossy opinionated women. Or your yard owner is a knobber. Current yard owner is a knobber. She hasn't always been a knobber but over the last few years has turnes into one. Or she has always been a knobber and I just notice more these days.

So the decision will be to put up with potential other knobbers or put up with current knobber.

Spoke to a farmer a few months ago who has stables. He seemed lovely if a bit clueless about ponies. But I nipped back up the other weekend and apoke to a woman who is now running livery yard and she was a knobber so it put me off a bit.

Then spoke to nice posh yard 5 minutes away, he was lovely but I need to go and view yard before he will tell me how much, which is fair enough. But he doesn't have vacancies atm.

Just wish we could afford our own place. But everyone horsey is the same.

Frouby - my friend has her horse at a livery and she experiences the same crap. Lots of women in the same environment and a knobber round every corner. Well done on moderating.

Water and lemonjuice / good luck on tomorrow’s interview. They will look at you and see you have energy and are fresh. Something no one could say about me currently due to wine!! Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

So I’m on second g&t. Doesn’t sound too bad. However first was medium strength. Then asked dh to pour me one while I was cooking. I’m sure he did 50/50!! Feel the effects big time now!! Really wobbly!! Don’t get that with wine!! Prob no difference in alcohol tho. Why’s that?!
Anyway...::SW result today

I am the other way floss. Wine knocks me on my arse, gin I can drink like pop!

Livery yards are like being back in year 9 at school. The dynamics are awful. There is always a Queen Bee and her cronies. Always a Know All. Always a Bunny Hugger who thinks you are cruel for actually riding. Always an 'all the gear and no idea' sort. Always someone who takes advantage and wants you to do their jobs because they are soooo busy and important.

Just seen some land to rent in the next village lol. Would be ideal for me being the anti social twat that I am. Just me and the ponies in the cock end of nowhere.

Problem is we couldn't quite afford it unless I got someone to share it with me and then I am back to square one.

Need to start buying lottery tickets.

Water good luck for your job interview today - 37 days dry and you should be feeling really confident. I bet you look fabulous too, drinking really takes a toll on your skin and eye appearance.I can spot a drinker easily now.
Frouby I hope you get your livery yard sorted or even better the land so you don't have to share. I'm an anti social bastard too!
Damp night again last night but I only had 2 glasses of wine less than the others at the apero. It was fun.
Regarding FM, I know it sounds strange but yes, I love him and he loves me. It is complicated but there is something very strong between us and I know he told a friend that he'd never felt like that before about anyone. It isn't easy knowing he is with someone else but strangely not as hard as I thought it would be. He doesn't fancy her, it is me he thinks of all the time, there is no sex between them at all, she just uses him as a personal councellor and comfort blanket. I know she had a horrible childhood but then she left her daughter when she was 2 and buggered off to Spain to live. I think she just thinks about herself and her problems all the time. I'm the opposite of her completely. He is waiting until she gets a little better before finishing it. I hope it doesn't take too long. In the meantime I'm just enjoying the time I spend with him.

Morning all
Didn't manage a dry day yesterday but did only have two small vodkas with a huge mixer. And we have friends coming tonight so I doubt I'll be dry then either. I feel a bit of a fraud but I do feel that I am making a small start.
I have started ready the sober mummy diaries which is ok but I don't quite fit .Does anyone have any books they would recommend? There seems to be a lot out there to stop completely but not if you just want to go from every night to a couple a week.

Good luck with the livery Frouby everyone I know who has horses seems to have issues with a knobber .

Flossie I'm the other way. I can only drink wine now if I mix it with soda water otherwise I have two large glasses and I am pissed and the head the next day is hideous.

Water, how did it go??? Am keeping my fingers very firmly crossed for you.

Howlong, Anglaise recommended William Porter's book to me. It is good. It hasn't kept me off the demon drink, but he says some very sensible things. I also read the Sober Mummy Diaries, but they didn't quite chime in with me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm older and my DC are older? I'm not sure. Though I admire her very much.

Sadly, I can drink anything. Wine, gin, the lot. FML.

And tonight will be wet, because DP is Doing Something (I know not what, but it involves his DC and, possibly, other people too). This always throws me into a tailspin. How you can act all married in John Lewis and then act with your DC as if you have no girlfriend defies belief, really. He is an absolute bugger.

Anglaise, you know I can't say anything useful about relationships. But I so hope yours works out. I am still waiting for DP to say he loves me, after three years (and many years of friendship before that). I said it once, 18 months ago, and he said: "Oh dear". But you are evidently a very special person and FM would be lucky in spades to have you.

Frouby, I don't know how I got to be 40something without knowing the word "knobber". Especially when it would have been so useful to me, when I was married to one. I really have never come across anyone who hasn't had livery problems, and I have known many people with ponies. But given my lack of money generally, I think we should all start a lottery syndicate.

Flossie, I hope your DD2 escapes the head-cold. How was your SW result?

I think I have basically given up for the time being. The DC have been off school for 62 sodding days. That is one day off 9 weeks. And there is another week to go. They can be ok individually, but are just vile collectively. They are all out tonight, so I can drink as much as I like without fear of anyone noticing. I am going to start with Day One again once they have gone back to school.

Howlong there is a book on drinking moderately called Mindful Drinking by Rosamund Dean. I really didn't like the Sober Diaries, hated the way it was written. The book that motivated me most was William Porter's Alcohol Explained, although it recommends giving up it has some interesting science on how we become addicted to alcohol.

Dion I'm so sorry about your DP, I just don't understand how he can be so insensitive. I don't blame you for drinking, and as you say the kids are back at school soon time to set good practices up then. Mine are back Monday and Tuesday can't wait.
Saw FM again this afternoon, but was sad, and said I really couldn't cope with the situation (I was fine with it yesterday!) He then went on to say I was la femme de sa vie and quite honestly I can say he could be the homme de ma vie, I've never met anyone I've felt like that about. And age 52 I've been through my share of men. So of course I will put up with the situation, for a little while. At least I know he isn't being unfaithful to me.

Oh, Anglaise. You are so right to have told FM you can't cope with things as they are. Many of my problems are caused by the fact that I can't tackle DP, as he refuses to engage with anything that isn't entirely superficial (I know this to my cost). But you are braver than I am. He is lucky to have found you.

Am watching Adrian Chiles now.

Evening all

Wet here because friday. 2 cans of lager and 3 bottles of bud. Was in a lager kind of mood.

Will be glad to get mine back to school. They aren't bad kids. Dd is ok 90% of the time. Just a proper moody mary when she fancies.

Ds is 4. Needs lots of fresh air and exercise or he goes feral.

And after all my chuntering about the yars have actually had a nice afternoon up there. 😂😂. Was a shit tip, even more so than usual as yard owner decided to spring clean, so shite everywhere.

But another livery was there with her kids who are a year older and a year younger than ds so they all played together. There really aren't many yards where the.dcs can play hide and seek in empty stables. Both dcs rode beautifully. A neighbours kids were down as well. They are a pita but nice enough kids.

Sigh. Then I found the bastard ducks on my plot again. And unfortunately for him, bumped into the plot holder who is the owner of the bastard ducks. Strong words were had. Never bollocked somebody over escapee ninja ducks. Dd was mortified and said I sounded like a year 12 head of year teacher 😂😂😂.

But I didn't swear or raise my voice so moral high ground retained.

Though she did say that when he did a nervous laugh she was a bit worried I would explode. And apparently I am scarier when I don't shout. Who knew?

Won't be dry tomorrow either. Lovely friends coming for a boozy bbq.

Just whizzing by to say fml. In fact fmfl!!!!

Dd2 obviously can’t be left. Too poorly. So can’t go anywhere. Ds is 21 so in the past has babysat.
Dh came home and said he’d had a shit day. Left 5am this morn. I got up with him and stayed up. Dog sick from 4:30am onwards!! Anyway. Then faced Clark’s and did school shoe run. Need a medal just to get through that!! Then ran round as any mum does.
Dh came in this pm and offered to take me to the local restaurant for dinner. It’s only 200m down the road and overlooks the sea. We’ve only been twice before. I literally jumped at it. Then remembered I can’t leave dd2. So spoke to ds, explained what to do. Watsapped my neighbours watsapp group and explained I’d not been apart from dd for 4 whole months (she’s not been at school as too ill) I asked them to all be on alert if ds should shout. Dh and I could get home in 2 mins. Anyway all was set. We were just going to wander down. I ran a bath for myself and picked my clothes. So excited to be a grown up for first time in ages. I thought I should call restaurant. Omfg. THEY WERE FULLY BLOODY BOOKED!!!!!!!

So here I am, led on sofa, pissed on a bottle of wine, having eaten dominoes pizza while supposed to be on SW. Screaming fmfl

Arghhhhhhhhhh

Anglais - oh lovely. You were soooo right to tell him how you feel and that it didn’t sit right with you. It’s not right that you have to lie alone while he’s with someone else....and you’re supposed to ‘understand’. Don’t feel you’re wrong to fee uncomfortable. I don’t think any of us would feel comfy with that arrangement. Stay the strong woman you are and look for the love you deserve. Love shouldn’t hurt. X

Dion - the same to you lovely..love really shouldn’t hurt. You should feel special and important. He’s not doing what you deserve. The least you need is to be acknowledged as part of his world.
You are wonderful. I know that purely from your posts. You’re a great mum and a great partner. He’s mega lucky you still there. He sounds like he’s throwing his toys and still getting what he wants. Feel for you. I really do.
As dofor dc’s being home..bloody exhausting. And deffo a reason to drink. My neighbour, who’s kids are older and left home, came round yesterday. She literally took a breath and said ‘fancy a wine?!’ Says it all really!!

Oh Flossie. Nothing I can usefully say, but xxxxxx

Froooooby, I am not NC to 'bastarding ducks'.

Meanwhile.

Counsellor to Adrian Chiles: "If you didn't drink. What would you feel like?"

AC: "I dunno".

Counsellor: "That road seems to be heading for: I need to change my mood, because I don't like how I feel".

Sorry to say I am crying at this, though would never say so IRL, because everyone IRL knows that I am a coper and never, ever cry or ask for help. Thank you, @Anglaise1 for mentioning this documentary.

Sorry. Bit obsessed here.

Who tf is Frank Skinner? I have vaguely heard of him, though I don't know who he is or what he does. But I think I now want to marry him. What a very intelligent man. If he were my DP, I don't think I'd bother drinking. FML.

Me again. Sorry.

Flossie, I hadn't seen your second post last time I posted here, but I am crying again now!!! Nobody who knows me IRL would believe that I can cry. But thank you for your lovely message. It means a lot. I don't feel special or important. I feel like someone who will do crap stuff for him. And I second what you say about Anglaise.

Dion - sending a mahoosive hug. I need to watch that programme....

Flossie xxxx

Was there something in the air yesterday? Sorry to all who had shitty days and evenings - me too...

Interview was stressful, no idea how it went. Job is v v senior and I'm a bit scared of it. Very scared of it actually so almost hoping I don't get any further. If I do, next round is a presentation and panel interview.

Decided to drink and went out for dinner with dh. We had a huge row. Was trying to at least stick to blood sugar diet so ordered steak but ruined it by coming home and diving into kids left over Dominos pizza.

Drank a cocktail and a bottle of white wine so now have a hangover, a pissed off husband and feel like shit. Wish I hadn't eaten carbs. Wish we hadn't argued. Woke at 4.30am, parched. So I'm knackered too. FML.

Water - god that sounds an intense day!! Is it the job you’re scared of or the next round of interviews? Do you think the stress caused the tow or was dh being, as frouby puts it, a knobber?
I’d have done exactly the same re the pizza!! I too had bottle of white followed by a dominoes pizza!! Some SW diet!!
Hate that 4:30am parched feeling. I had it too. Then 6am dd screamed up to say the dog was sick!! Fml

Oh, Water... How horrible. I can't say anything useful at all, but I'm sorry you had such a shitty day (and the dreaded 4.30 AM feeling). You have proved that you can be AF, so this is just a blip. I'd be scared of the job, too.

Flossie, you and Water and I can all go in the Dominos Hall of Shame. I was there on Thursday night. As for dog-sick: ugh.

Flossie, um scared of both! I won't mind if I don't get through to the next round.

Have had a 2 hour sleep on the sofa with a warm cat on me so I feel a bit better now. Spoke to a really lovely old friend on the phone this morning and she's the same, as is another mutual friend: we're all tearful, stressed and fretting. Wondered if Mercury is in retrograde or something but I've checked and it's not, not that I necessarily believe that stuff!

We came to the conclusion that it's a combination of new term beckoning, September, children getting older, being in our 50s being a generally terrifying time plus that thing of 'shall I go for it, career wise or shall we downsize now and go and live by the sea?' (Not an option yet as DD at school for at least another 2 years). Plus for me, a hangover. Never helpful.

Dh and I have made up and apologised to each other so phew. He was being a bit of a knobber but so was I tbh. He is kind, considerate, flower-bringing, lovely husband 99% of the time so I'm glad we made up.

There is a bottle of cold wine in the fridge and I might drink tonight but definitely back to 5 days AF all of next week and maybe longer.

Not sure if it’s hair of the dog here or not. Didn’t ‘fancy’ a drink tonight but kind of had one out of habit and nothing else on offer.
Drinking wine AGAIN but not loving it and got palpitations.

Anyone else get palpitations??

flossie no palpitations here, unless you count over Steve Baldini as just finished Keeping Faith on catch up!! (Crap ending btw). Bought v virtuous af g&t cans so I could try for a dry Saturday..... but just whacked a slug of gin into it as was so tasteless (and pointless) ah well....

No palpitations here but am pissed as a fart and relying in predictive text 😂😂

Had such a lovely beeruy nights and day. Bbq at ours. Been drinking steadily since 2pm. Openef champagne and everything. Dh won nearly 2k on football so celebrated in style. 😁😁

Omfg 2k winnings!!!!!!! I’d be utterly smashed!! Enjoy!!