Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Read this and shocked myself into insisting Day 1 today!!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5899005/What-happens-body-stop-drinking-alcohol.html

Woosey even though it is in the DM it is all true!

Failed!!

Me too Woosey. Moderated tho. 2 small prosecco sized glasses of fizzy wine and 1 330ml of fruity cider.

That article certainly made me think tho. I have a tummy and I really shouldn't. I rarely eat 1200 cals a day. Probably closer to 1000 5/7. And on the 2 treat days it's probably only about 1400.

But even drinking g and t with slim tonic I will never be less than a size 12/14. And I am pretty active with the animals and allotment and running around with ds.

I suppose I need to decide if I want to be slim or I want to drink. And as much as I would love to be slim I love alcohol too. It's my reward at the end of the day, it's when me and dh sit down and chill together, it's when I am social, it's to unwind with, it helps me keep my shit together.

And as much as I understand that it's all a fallacy and I could relax with a book or.exercise or a good kip, that I can unwind with a cuppa or be social drinking tonics I don't really believe that just yet.

I used to smoke and smoking did all those things and it wasn't until I couldn't smoke as was pg that I realised that I could do all those things without a fag in my hand.

Am just hoping one day I feel the same about alcohol as I do now about fags. If dh worked away it would be easy but we are both our own worst enemies.

Hello again - I last posted a month ago to say I was struggling with the idea of a free pass for half term holiday drinking... I was right, I kept right on drinking. Day 1again - but I did it- it's a start, and also a relief to feel like I have some control again.

Licking my wounds today. Didn't even want to have an AF beer. It has been water all day.

Frouby, thank you so much for sharing all of that with me/us. You are quite right that DS has to be left to get on with it. At some point he will presumably come to realise why I couldn't bear to live with XH. The weird thing is that I left him because of the way he was with the DC, yet the DC have forgotten what it was like to be permanently walking on eggshells, waiting for the next explosion.

Woosey... blimey. What a lot you have been through, too. It's shocking to read about your XH, though I wonder if he and my XH were separated at birth. There are similarities. And you are so right - if I try to tell the DC anything, they think I'm just making it up to be horrible to their dad. So I don't say anything (though I think my DM tries to make up for that one, as she hasn't got a single good word to say about him ).

Anyway, I just have to get on with it and let them work this all out for themselves. And drinking is NOT the answer. Easy to say this when I feel so awful today, though.

Anglaise, congrats on your race. That is fab!! And thanks for the Daily Fail link. It was expecting it to say that giving up alcohol would be like giving up heroin and all the damage had already been done, so it was a bit encouraging to know that some of it can be undone relatively quickly. I am full of good intentions today, but am not naive enough to think this will last.

Frouby, I could’ve written your post. Wine for me is that unwinding feeling, it’s that big breath of relaxation, that feeling of space and peace. I can’t get that with anything else right now. I feel trapped, I have no space or freedom to reach that buzz with anything. Yet I have ability to walk to the fridge. It gives me a feeling of ‘thank god for that’ as I take the first mouthful. Yet I then cant stop. I’m not sure I want to though. That’s my big problem. Something I couldn’t say anywhere else but here. Of course I’d love to stop deep down, I’d love to know I’m Healthy. I eat well, love to exercise, am very biologically minded in that I research health stuff constantly (nothing just daily fail I promise!!). Yet despite all of this..I need that let down that wine gives me. My life is fucked right now!! I don’t know where else to turn!!
Dion - the fact you’re licking wounds and haven’t just gone back to the poison again is strength. Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think. X

Meant to say NOT just daily fail!! Haha. Made it sound like I only read daily fail for ‘biological research’. Hahahhahaha

Oh, ladies, it's good to hear from you all again! My email stopped showing me messages from this thread, so I thought everyone was either blissfully sober or utterly pissed and avoiding posting! I was working most of the weekend, so I didn't think too much of it, but I've missed so much!

I applaud all of your dedication to working with children and siblings who didn't experience/don't understand the abusive situations you went through and had to get out of. Hopefully, they will either come to understand what a ba$+ard the father is or mature enough to see that who he is now is different than who he was then and understand your decisions. Courage to you all as you work through it all

I've been moderating (aside from Saturday .) Tonight is very wet. Had my cousin over for games and drinks, but I had far more than anyone else. I feel ok about it as tonight is my "Friday," but we're going into a midweek holiday that I'll have to moderate through and the weekend is dh's birthday, so there are ample moments of temptation.

Woosey, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with a weakness for cigarettes. I hope to get to a point where I don't want them or "the demon alcohol," as it were.
Bunty it's wonderful that you're getting things in hand. Cheers to a fresh start and a renewed sense of vigor!

Dion it was Woosey who gave the DF link, although I confess I do look at the sidebar of shame I don't usually read a lot in it!
Frouby if I had a DH or OH living with me I think I'd find AF a lot harder, unless they didn't drink either.
Woosey you are literally trapped with your poor DD and her illness and I understand that there aren't a lot of other options for you. I started drinking every night in the summer holidays last year and eventually that made me want to stop as I just felt worse and worse and had put on a few unwanted kg. I then ran a terrible HM (1H53m) which was terrible for me so decided to get my act together. You often need a trigger and you haven't got one yet. neither has Frouby but you are both a lot younger than me!
Avril well done on the (mostly) moderating!

I have lunchtime Date 5 with Mr Maybe today

Anglais - lunchtime date 5!!!!!!

Anglaise - sorry! It was indeed Woosey who gave the DF link. I think you are right about there needing to be a trigger (true if you want to quit any bad habit). I have some vague triggers, but they're not yet quite enough to force my hand. Excited about lunchtime Date 5!! Let us know how it goes...

April, glad you are back, and that you have been doing some moderating. It's always worse when there are events/birthdays where you know alcohol will be present...

Bunty, so we both managed Day One yesterday. It's easy to say now that tonight will be dry, but who knows what I will be saying at 7 PM.

Woosey . x

Dion, I too aim to be AF tonight. Not putting any wine in fridge and hate warm white wine. Going to Zumba too this eve in a bid to keep busy!!
However I know that when it gets to this eve, I will have a million excuses to drink, and I will find something that will satisfy that desire!! Fml

No way dry tonight.
So had mental day. House gone onto market and had a viewing today. All was good tho and quite enjoyed cleaning ready for it. Wierd I know!! Anyway then picked dd1 up from school. Ds came home from work. Due to lack of time left before Zumba, I got them McDonald’s and brought it home. Excitement all round.....apart from ds who stated dd had stollen some of his chips!! When I intervened he tore me to shreds!! Apparently I’ve ruined his life, he hates me, I always side with dd’s etc. He then said when I’m kind, I’m just pretending and deep down I hate him too!! Ffs this went on for an hour with me trying to calm him down and be nice to him......apparently in a fake way!!!!!
So then Dh walks in and a rush to Zumba to be told it’s cancelled!! ffs!! Get home to Dh asking what’s for dinner. I then saw my neighbour who I haven’t told we are selling house....only for her to have seen the agent and get arsey that I haven’t told her blah blah (she’s moving too and ours was valued more than hers so she’s being bitter!!)

Ffs. So I haven’t had wine yet but there’s now one in fridge. Just running a bath while I desperately try and delay the inevitable!!

Fml and then some more

Omg anglais....cheer me up and tell me you had an amazing date with mr perfect and there was lunchtime sex involved....

Oh woosey what a horrible evening, maybe the Zumba was cancelled because of the football? I hope things get better with DS bloody kids.
Had lovely lunch with Mr Maybe and we walked around a park and snogged a lot like teenagers. No lunchtime sex today. However tomorrow lunch is a barbecue in his forest where there is a cabin and a bed so perhaps it will happen there. I hope so, he definitely gives me the fanny gallops as Frouby says, I haven't felt like this about anyone for ages and believe me I could write a book about my internet dating experiences!

Oh Woosey. What a horrible, horrible day. What is it with these DSs? Is it genetic?! Believe me, mine would end up with some kind of meltdown about stolen chips. And the cancelled Zumba, too. Not to mention the Final Straw neighbour.

Anglaise, how very exciting. And two lunches in two days. Keep us posted!!!

I am on a Tesco No Alcohol G&T, having also just driven one of the DC to Macdonalds. Very sorely tempted to visit the Spar shop, but I am going to resist. I think.

Omg anglais....a bbq in his forest!!

Keep us posted!! Sounds amazing......not just to have a bbq with mr perfect but to get the fanny gallops too!!

We like the fanny gallops.

Bedtime, at the end of Day Two. This should not feel like such an achievement, but I am thanking Woosey and (never thought I would say this) the Daily Fail.

Dion - if I got to end of day 2, I’d be euphoric!! Seriously!!

Thank you for the welcome and encouragement everyone .Managed day 2- only just!

Bunty you have done brilliantly! Well done - night 3 tonight? You might feel like you only just managed but who cares - you did! Whoop whoop!
I had to have a run up at it (about 20years😂, sorry not funny😐) and had a few weeks battleing with a few nights a week but in no time I managed 5 in a row and that did me so much good because I realised if I can do 5 then there is no reason, physically anyway, why I can’t do more and tonight will be my first night 10 in years! I’m sure I’ll do it too cause after 5 & 6 it has got significantly easier - I have wine in the fridge and I keep telling myself it isn’t going anywhere and will still be there on Saturday if I want it and I’m happy to say (well bloody amazed actually😂) that I’m ok to wait now. In fact my worry is - this is going great (lot half a stone👏🏻👏🏻) and finding easy and not sure if drinking on Saturday will make next week harder or if I’ll be fine still. Half of me thinks maybe complete abstenance might be easier at this point - help Anglaise- what do you think? I don’t really want to pack in for life but don’t want day one wet to be the start of a run - you are the master of this...

Actually: Night Ten??! That is seriously impressive.

Just as well I was on Night 2 last night, as I had to make an emergency midnight trip to retrieve DC1 (XH was having one of his filthy tantrums, and being absolutely vile to DC). So I flogged out to get him, got back to bed at about 2 AM, and was at least pleased with myself for having been in a fit state to drive at night (for once).