Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

@woosey35

Hope you are ok today. x

Dion - thanks so much, you’re a love. I’m ok. Feel pissy with myself for feeling hungover again and knowing it’s due to total lack of self control. Basically control in general. I just need control in so many areas of my life, it’s not happening, so I continually press the fuck it button!!
We off for a family weekend away with my family so know that it won’t be a dry one!! Mind you...my life is never dry currently so no idea why I’m so shocked about this weekend being wet!!

Woosey, what you say makes so much sense. So much else that's going on for you is uncontrollable, so it's hardly surprising that you press the fuck it button.

Meanwhile, DC1 has appeared, a day early, with about a thousand tons of washing and very little else, and is ranting about why his bedroom is dumping ground for everyone else's crap. It would have been less so, had he given me a bit of advance warning of his arrival. The house is now filled with some American bloke ranting on You Tube at full volume on his laptop. DC2 will not be happy to find him here tonight. I love my children dearly, but FML, and then FML some more. Tonight will not be dry.

Woosey you make sure you fun this weekend, just enjoy yourself, you really deserve it!
Dion kids...there is a saying in French small children small problems big children big problems...its so true.
I'm having my 2 glasses of wine tonight and party tomorrow night but I'm driving plus have a 32km race Sunday morning (temperatures of 30°C forecast) so won't be consuming much then.
4th lunch date with Mr Potentiel today, I'm a bit wary as I think I could fall for him quite easily and he resembles physically quite a lot the last charming bastard I fell for. He seems quite keen too, and hasn't tried anything more than a snog so far so very different from a lot of French guys. Its a bit like being a teenager again.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Morning all

Not dry last night. Had a few beers in the pub then went for thai food with dh and the dcs. Was lovely.

My dsis had her baby yesterday. He is a whopping 11lbs 😮😮😮. Very cute and cuddly but huge for a newborn. C section as he was breach but I don't think he would have come out anyway.

My dsis suffered really badly with PND when she had her ds 5 years ago so whole family on alert. Already had a pop at my mam over her breastfeeding. Sigh. I bf ds for 18 months and got nothing but negative comments. Other dsis was the same when she bf. Dsis with new baby told me 2 weeks ago she really wanted to bf again, loved it last time but got so fed up of negative comments which made her doubt herself she stopped bfing at 3 months which is when the PND set in with a vengeance.

First thing mum said when she phoned me was 'shes got him on the boob now but he is so big she is going to have to give him a bottle to fill him up, she will never manage to feed him herself....' Aaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh.

Was really cross with her. Am not a bfing Mafioso by any means and dd was ff from 3 weeks but jesus christ. Hes not even an hour old and she has decided she can't do it.

Sorry completely off topic but it made me want to open the wine there and then and it was only 1pm.

Woosey enjoy your weekend. You definetly deserve a weekend away.

Angalise Mr Maybe sounds very exciting. Bet he is a filthy fucker in bed too 😁😁😁. Those types always are. Proceed with caution but make sure you test his moves before moving on.

Dion big kids are more trouble than the little kids. Dd is no trouble the majority of the time but a complete brat when she wants to be.

Hot, sweaty allotmenting today. Then BBQ for tea. Having our own eggs from the chooks for breakfast with smoked salmon apparently.

For once, I am glad to be going to work .

In great haste, and with a headache following a soaking evening, but I want to be invited for breakfast please, Frouby.

Sorry Dion but we scoffed it all 😁.

Ya can come next saturday tho. Might attempt huevoros rancheros or whatever its called. Basically mexican scrambled eggs on a toasted tortilla with refried black beans, guacamole and salsa. It's a faff if you make your own salsa and guacamole but totally lush.

Frouby, you're on.

Supposed to be dry tonight after last night, but have had 3.5 x 40 ml gins before running out. Couldn't be bothered to go to the Spar shop to buy in further supplies, so had a bowl of cereal instead. FML about a thousand times over.

DC1 appeared yesterday, and stropped off today, having re-visited his usual old gripes about how I ruined his life by leaving his (N.B. abusive) father. Etc. I dare say he will return when he wants something. But FML. Yet again.

11lb baby!!! Blimey. That even beats mine, who were getting on for that (unreasonably, given my tininess). My mother was not helpful about bf either. She took one look at the massive babies, and evidently thought a bottle was the only way to satisfy the brutes. I'm certainly not evangelical about bf (fine if it works, fine if it doesn't - and it mostly didn't with mine), but I could have done without the extra opinion. And if there is a history of PND, even more so.

Anglaise... I am rooting for you. I know you have had your share of charming bastards, so you deserve one who is just charming (though I did laugh at Frouby's comment). I will keep everything crossed for you.

for Woosey.

Frouby your comments hit the spot each time, I will indeed proceed with caution but look forward to testing his moves. I bet he is too! Dion thanks, I hope this one is different, as you say charming will do just fine, without the bastard bit. I'll keep you posted.
Up at stupid o'clock at least for a Sunday for the pleasure of going to run a 30km race in a forest where the temperature is already 23°C and it isn't even 7am. No wind and storms on the way. What's not to like? Had one glass of wine at the birthday party yesterday but as we ate so late I know my stomach will be in agony this morning running, no doubt a few pit stops will be required.
Have a good Sunday everyone!

Christ Angalise I am dreading housework because of the heat, have a good run!

Feel rough this morning. Impromptu drinks with ndns yesterday. Bloody dh poured me a huge glass of wine which I drank quite quickly to stop it getting warm. Then another huge glass. I usually have small ones and it absolutely floored me. Then 2 large g and ts (50ml instead of 35ml) and I was wankered. Fml. Feel rough now despite lots of coffee.

Am going to be dry today. Can't face starting a new week hung over. Planning to be up at 5am to get a couple of hours work in, someone supposed to be coming to try my wedding dress on at 9.30 and I have loads to do.

FML. FML. FML. And then again.

Dion - you ok darling? What’s happened?

Just downed yet another bottle of wine!! Just can’t see where it’ll stop

Oh Woosey.... You will make me cry if you are nice to me.

Too much to explain. Short version is that DC1 blames me for leaving his father, who hit me when I bodily put myself between him and DC1 because I thought I would rather be battered to death than have anyone hit my child. DC1 remembers none of this. He now thinks it is all his fault, and that I ruined his life for leaving XH. I will not confess to effing DrinkAware, but this is the only way I can anaesthetise any of this.

Finally. Will add that DS doesn't remember any of this (consciously, at any rate). The other DC are a bit hazy, which is ok given that I want them all to be ok with Xh, even if he is a thundercunt.

Dion you must stop thinking it’s your fault. Please stop. Really this is not you. My life was similar. My past life. XH put ds behind the curtain in the lounge as he was crying and he couldn’t hear tv. He’d always told me he didn’t want me to get pregnant. He told me I was repulsive and as soon as I started showing a bump, he moved into the spare room. Then when ds was born he was vile to both of us. I did what you did..protect your baby. You did the right thing. And you are still doing the right thing, you are protecting him still. My ds still doesn’t know what a dick his dad is!! (He left his life for 15years and now ds has just turned 21, xh turned up to re introduce himself ffs).

The trouble is if you confess to ds, he will never believe you. He will think you are pulling things out the bag. It’s so fucking hard. Ds hates me. I know he does. He is vile towards me about everything. I can’t do anything right. He’s abusive. I reckon it’s nature not nurture. He’s got the genes. I really can’t offer you any advice, just empathy and love. I’m so sorry you are going through this too. Throwing a life ring to you, pulling you in, and smothering you in hugs. Take care darling xx

Dion - I stayed with ds being a dick for a while. Looking back, he fucked both me and ds up. I should’ve run but I didn’t soon enough. Please don’t blame yourself x

Xh being a dick, not ds!!!!

Mind you.....!!!!!!

Your last message made me laugh, Woosey, though it really shouldn't have, given all the shit around the DC. DS is a dick, too. I did try to talk to DS1 the other day, but he thought I was just talking shit and trying to alienate him from his father. Plus I have now made some toast and have set the sodding smoke alarm off due to posting this!!!

And, Woosey, I can't tell you how grateful I am for the hugs. Effing DP is no use in this respect, but I really need them. And I am all the more grateful to you, given that you are the one who really needs them, and more besides, yet you are still kind enough to offer them. xx

Dion, it’s all relative. Everyone has their own shit in different levels.....it’s all shit tho!!

Woosey Dion Wow you two really do have terrible XHs I'm so sorry and hope you are both OK this morning. Kids have a way of blocking out terrible things from their childhood and maybe that is why DS blames you instead of XH Dion.
Frouby doing anything in this heat is difficult.
I did my race and came in second woman won some flowers a nice trophy and a voucher for a beauty treatment, really enjoyed it despite the heat. Just had a terrible headache for the rest of the day and I don't think it was the one beer I had after the race, just general dehydration with the heat.
Day 1 again??

Woosey Dion hugs to you both.

All I can say is I grew up with an emotionally, physically, financially abusive step father. Me and my mam got the worst of it. He is now diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic but 30 odd years ago he was just a charming man who loved his family and was strict 😐.

I won't go into the ins and outs of it all. Think Jack Nicholson in The Shining if you want a mental image.

I was the oldest and also the only step so saw and remember lots of fucking awful things. My youngest sibling is 11 years younger than me, I was 17 when my mam finally left.

I went N C immediately with step father. It has caused issues with my siblings who just don't understand why I hate him so fucking much. I also hated my mum for a long time for not leaving sooner.

I will say though that as we all started having our own dcs and own grown up relationships our views have changed. Although he is still their dad my siblings now understand a little more.

I also chose not to tell them of some of the horrific things he did. They don't believe me anyway, it was years ago, his hatred was directed at me and my mum and he worships them so they will never experience or understand it.

My advice for what it is worth is that it isn't worth arguing over now. Let DS believe that you ruined his life Dion. He is a young adult. Not some sad 6 year old waiting for his daddy to pick him up. Sit him down when you are both calm. Apologise that his childhood wasn't Topsy and Tim perfect but shit happens. Other kids have it worse. You made your decision based on all of the families safety and happiness not just his.

Tell him if he can't accept that he should contact student services for some counselling to discuss it with someone trained to help him. But you can't change what has happened in the past and he is welcome to go to his fathers in the holidays rather than yours if he likes.

Hugs to you both. Abusive men cause problems even when you have left. Set of cunts the lot of them.

Anglais - you did so well in your race. Well done. You must have felt elated.
Frouby - fab advice for Dion.
Dion - hope you’re doing ok today lovely. Sending hugs and 💐