Not dry january. But less booze in general. Anyone else?

[Frouby]

I am posting this thread because I really want to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink.

I was going to do dry January but think that is too much for me. And when I do drink again I will revert back to bad habits.

On a normal week I would have 1 or 2 g and ts mon to thurs. Bottle of wine on a friday. Then either a couple of beers or a couple of g and ts on a Saturday night. Nothing on sunday.

Over Christmas (which started for us mid December as we had a holiday) I have drank every day. Never been drunk drunk but 4 or 5 drinks every day.

I feel fat, bloated and lethargic. I want to cut my drinking down to a couple of nights a week. Friday and Saturday. Or thursday and friday. DP also drinks most days (more than me too) and we both need to address our relationship with alcohol.

I didn't drink last night and won't tonight either. And I feel 100% better already. We get married in May and I want to lose weight and improve my health.

Does anyone else want to join this thread for support? I know there is the dry January thread but I will be drinking (probably) 2 days a week so dont want to post on there and knock any penguins off the ice.

Currently drinking ginger ale with loads of ice and contemplating a shower and a cupp of tea later with the last of the Christmas cake (diet starts tomorrow) 😁

Urgh. Epic fail. Half a bottle of wine, 3 cans of lager. Was as pissed as a fart.

Feel rough now. I used to be able to drink a full bottle of wine and a couple of beers and be soberish and feel ok the next day.

But. I did enjoy every drop. Had a silly night with dp chatting and relaxing. Didnt sleep horrendously badly but did wake up for a glass of water at 1am.

Working today which will be fun with a headache. Then taking the dcs shopping after school for the last few bits they need for the wedding.

I have no wine left and don't want to drink lager because calories. Have gin but only cheap tonic so going to try af tonight.

Athena try your local B and M for naice soft drinks. Ours had a really good selection the other week. Belvoir and fentimans for 39p for a 200ml can. I need to restock. Having something nice to drink really helped last week.

Friends, it's so great to have you all asking after me!

I did Saturday pretty well (despite a friend stopping by in crisis with a six-pack.) I was pleased with feeling ok for work but ended up hitting it pretty heavily at a friend's birthday party that night. My DH knew I was at my cousin's house, but I didn't text that I was staying over. I feel bad when he worries that I've tried to walk home and haven't made it . It was all good at the end of the day, but still...

It's been quite a weekend for everyone!
woosey It can be a real bear getting yourself in to see a doctor. Mine doesn't have a live answering service, so I keep hanging up when the machine picks up. Best of luck getting yourself in to see someone. We all know it's worth doing!

If you're trying for an AF version of beer I think Harp makes one. There is also Kombucha, which may have a small quantity of alcohol but not enough to get you anywhere. It doesn't taste of beer, but is very fizzy and tart.

've been helping friends move for the past two days. Last night was AF out of sheer exhaustion, but today was an over-indulgence. Friends came over, and I'm currently finishing a beer (not sure out of how many) and having late night, boxed macaroni and cheese. Even so, I have great plans for tomorrow.

Hi everyone!! 👋🏼
Just a quick passing by from me. Sorry can’t read through at mo. I haven’t forgotten you all!!
Another ambulance for dd to school. That’s 4 in two weeks. Dh being a dick and not supportive at all, and I feel a tad bereft and alone. Drinking too much and not eating enough. Know it’s wrong but currently it’s the only way. Going to stay in our camper for the next 5 days and do school run from there. Just need a break!!

Woosey sometimes you"ve gotta do what you've gotta do.hope you're daughter is ok. Hopefully husband is not in the camper with u!!
Day 3 AF here....definite twitches....gotta keep busy. Popping to see a friend later and she only drinks tea or coffee at home so I know I'm safe!! Crazy isn't it!! Went to but some exotic drinks of the non alcoholic nature- too many calories argh. So I have sparkling water and diet coke.
Hi everyone sorry I'm crap with personals x

Woosey, I am so, so sorry to hear about your DD. How stressful and upsetting for all of you. Camper sounds like a good idea. Will this also enable you to get a bit of space from your DH, if he's being an arse? I so understand about you feeling a bit bereft and alone. One of my DC (older now) has SN, and I remember that feeling all too well. XH couldn't cope at all, which meant I was The Coper. Only I wasn't, obviously. Which is one reason I'm in the situation I'm in now, I dare say.

Frouby, sorry that you are feeling rough - but a nice evening with your DP sounds worth it. I'm guessing you didn't stab him after all.

April, I too have great plans for tomorrow. Which means, Mamma, that tonight is going to be a write-off. Was supposed to be going out with DP this eve, and had variously offloaded the DC for this occasion. Spent the day feeling excited, planning what I was going to wear, etc. He rang 5 mins ago, from work, to say that he would be stuck there until much later, to ask me how my day had been and what I was doing tonight. I said "evidently not going out with you". He was apologetic, but that doesn't change the fact that he has let me down. I know gin is not the solution to this one, but FML. I am, at least, going to try to moderate.

Mammabear - oh I sooo recognise the feeling of being safe if no alcohol on offer!! I almost feel relieved when I know it can’t be consumed!! Almost as if it takes that decision away. Well done on AF

Athena - omg I would’ve blown my top!! Did dp realise what effort you’d gone to in order to go out? Was he remorseful or just blasé about not being able to go after all?? I’d have been gutted too. Not just to see dp, but to have the opportunity to be a grown up, to be you. Not a mum and general dogs body.
Dh is in the camper but going to work from there so generally only after 8pm. He apparently tried last night. However it still broke into another row. I just feel he’s too corporate at home. Almost militant. There’s no emotion, only anger. Whereas I’m feeling sadness, anger at our situation and generally feeling bereft over the situation we are in with dd. So so alone. Doctor calling me this morn. Need to get some counselling sorted. Dh refuses to speak on an emotional level. Which makes me more emotional!! Also I think me drinking has never ever effected our relationship. I don’t get ‘drunk’. I weirdly don’t like feeling drunk, I just like to feel mellow. Last night dd said he didn’t like the way I was behaving and it was down to me drinking. (I’d had 2 glasses of Pinot...literally nothing for me!!). I think he was pissed tbh and was throwing the dirt to keep himself clean!!
Men!!!!!!!!

(Dh said, not dd!!)

Ah Woosey men are fuckers sometimes. And Athena. I find dp shuts conversation down if he doesn't want to discuss something. Especially if it is relating to someone being ill. When dsis was poorly last year he was sympathetic but because he couldn't solve it he didn't want to discuss stuff.

Not dry here and probably won't be all weekend. However. In the interests of fitting in my wedding frock in 16 days I am on the gin. Aiming for 2.

Hi ladies.....life is really crazy for us all!
I failed.....4th night and nailed 3 bottles of beer and now on gin. 3 nights AF. I blame the sunshine lol . And we're due a heatwave oh Lordy!!!!!
Xx

Mamma nights AF is great, you did really well. Not sure I could do beer or gin on the same evening, in fact I can't do gin at all as it was the first drink I was really ill on when I was 17. I can't drink any spirits.
Well, I broke my AF in the week rule at last! Had a date last night and he ordered wine to drink with the meal, I didn't want him to drink alone so I had a small glass. Another date, another man this evening, he had a beer so I stuck to drinking water, didn't feel obliged to share that as I did with the wine. With the warm weather forecast for this weekend I expect many people will be having a 'wet' one...

Stuck to my 2 gins last night. I don't know why I bother with wine and lager. I can't moderate as well and calories.

Need to stock up on gin and nice tonics. The weather will definetly make me thirsty. Especially since dp is off work for 4 days.

I've not done very well this week. Only one night AF but I've only had one glass per night. I'm making excuses I know .
Anxiety is ramping up and I'm weak.

Pinkcoat, One glass a night is great moderating and trickier than abstaining completely IMO! Ive managed AF Mon-Thurs but am looking forward to a couple of glasses of chilled white tonight!

Well done pontious that's great. Enjoy your chilled white tonight. Sounds lovely.

Hello all.

I have been licking my wounds. I feel broken. But I know alcohol is not the answer. Wed was very, very wet . Last night dry, as I was still drying out. Tonight has to be AF. It really can't not be.

Pink, I think you have done brilliantly. I realise now that I can't have "just one glass". I used to be able to, but I can't now. So you are well ahead of me, there. You, too, Frouby. Only 2 gins is fantastic. And Anglaise... One small glass. I could live with that. How were your dates otherwise?

Pontious, four days!!! I seem to come unstuck after Day 2. But I have to remember that Day One is now bearable, and there was a time when even that seemed impossible. Though I think I drink more now on the 'wet' nights than I used to. It's all so hard.

Woosey, I don't think DP gave a second thought to standing me up. He is a focussed male who does what he's doing, and doesn't really give a thought to much else. So no apology or anything, and no alternative suggestion either...

You are all too kind here and some of you are dealing with a lot more than me. So thank you for the kind words.
I just worry about things I shouldn't worry about, which makes me feel guilty. Then I have a drink to calm down and feel guilty about that as well. I'm a mess.
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, whether wet, dry or in between.

Wet here tonight. 4 x 35ml gins. Not horrendous as that was between 5pm and 9pm so 1 every hour. Really enjoyed them tonight. Gin, tonic, lots of ice and a generous squidge of fresh lime and a couple of slices of lime.

Its interesting what you say about drinking more on wet nights Athena. When I was dry 4/5 nights I was drinking a full bottle of wine on wet nights. I am now having probably 2 dry nights. But drinking less on wet nights so drinking a bottle of wine over 2 nights. So still 2 bottles of wine a week (and the odd can/gin) but probably about the same amount of alcohol.

The problem is tho that the half bottle creeps up to 3/4 bottle. Then a full bottle. 4 or 5 times a week.

I really want to do at least 4 nights consistently dry. Then maybe a bottle of wine. And possibly a couple of gins.

I think it will have to be after the wedding now tho. Am changing my work pattern around next week tho. Will be getting up super early and doing a few hours so I am not stuck in the house all summer working. Will then have most of the day to myself. And go to bed earlier to compensate. So that might curb my drinking a bit.

Frouby, if you are only having slightly more than 2 bottles of wine a week in total, I'd say that was something of a triumph. Though you're right about the "mission creep". It's so easy to fall into it.

At the moment, I'm aiming for three nights in a row. I have come unstuck every time for the past three months, so there's no point hoping too much. I will just have to see what happens when my resolve is tested tomorrow. Lots of early nights might help. Evenings feel very long when you're AF.

Frouby 2 bottles of wine isn't huge, and 2 AF nights are better than none!
Athena the dates were second and third, both nice men but I don't think it will go any further from my point of view. I live in the French countryside so really have no choice but to meet men online, I've had a few relationships but seem to have hit a dry period and have been single since November. Not unhappily so, I could be with someone if I wanted but I prefer to be single than with someone I'm not really into. Its difficult to find someone who is really sporty like me, or understands my need to run 50+ miles a week (including Sunday mornings!)
Evenings can be long - here in France again it is easier, work finishes later so in the week I work one or two days until 7pm, the other evenings either running or swimming club until 8pm; so we rarely eat before 8.30 or 9pm and bed 11pm so the evenings are much shorter. Even when I do nothing on a weekend night! keep busy with the garden or house or anything and never have a drink before 7.30pm and never with or after dinner. So my trigger times are pretty well taken care of.
I hope your DP behaves himself more this weekend. I know your pain and had to get rid of mine, hard though it was at the time!

So sorry. I’m still here. Away camping. Drinking like a fish!!

for you, Woosey. Family birthday here, so about to open wine. Going to aim for moderation...

Not sure it's quite moderation, but about half a bottle (realise this is a lot in "normal" terms). Feeling quite mellow, but not going to move on to anything else.

Athena that’s real moderation medal material!! Seriously!! To have half a bottle and stop. I’d be so chuffed. Well done!! I’d say you conquered!! 💐
I’ve had another bottle. Seriously fuck it button. Struggling a lot. 😳😳

That is brilliant Athena. Doesnt matter if it's 'normal' or not it's less for you and that's all that matters.

I didn't moderate yesterday. Had a BBQ and some friends round. Had at least 7 G and Ts I think. But that was over about 6 hours, I stuck to G and Ts and when everyone and dp carried on drinking I switched to water.

Had a lovely day though. Our old ndn from 10 years ago came. He is a very interesting bloke. Mad as a box of frogs, bit of a rebel against society, really intelligent and also just a lovely man. He brought his partner who we hadn't met (they met after we moved) and she was lovely too. Really warm and bubbly and chatty.

So after stropping at DP in the morning for inviting people I didn't know around and not helping with housework to make house visitor ready I was actually glad he did invite them. I am generally an anti social witch so don't like surprise visitors especially when it's sprung on me last thing. But glad they came now.

Will probably be wet today. Will be on allotment for a few hours later then having a dustcutter or 2.

Thank you, both. Still woke up at 3 with beer fear, but I am glad I didn't go down the 'switching to gin' route. Today will be a challenge, as the family events continue with a barbecue (which is what I am avoiding doing now). I have bought some Lambrusco (4%), so am hoping that might help. I am going to offload the stronger stuff on guests who are not driving...

Love the sound of your old ndn, Frouby. Sounds like a lovely day. Hope your allotmenting is going well today.

Woosey, hang in there. Don't worry about how much or little you are drinking ATM. You just have to get through this horrible phase. I am thinking of you.