Not dry january. But less booze in general. Anyone else?

[Frouby]

I am posting this thread because I really want to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink.

I was going to do dry January but think that is too much for me. And when I do drink again I will revert back to bad habits.

On a normal week I would have 1 or 2 g and ts mon to thurs. Bottle of wine on a friday. Then either a couple of beers or a couple of g and ts on a Saturday night. Nothing on sunday.

Over Christmas (which started for us mid December as we had a holiday) I have drank every day. Never been drunk drunk but 4 or 5 drinks every day.

I feel fat, bloated and lethargic. I want to cut my drinking down to a couple of nights a week. Friday and Saturday. Or thursday and friday. DP also drinks most days (more than me too) and we both need to address our relationship with alcohol.

I didn't drink last night and won't tonight either. And I feel 100% better already. We get married in May and I want to lose weight and improve my health.

Does anyone else want to join this thread for support? I know there is the dry January thread but I will be drinking (probably) 2 days a week so dont want to post on there and knock any penguins off the ice.

Currently drinking ginger ale with loads of ice and contemplating a shower and a cupp of tea later with the last of the Christmas cake (diet starts tomorrow) 😁

One glass of plain tonic down, followed by HALF a bottle of wine!! Trying to step away from the fridge!!

Fail here.

Its Monday, Day 1 (Day 2 for Frouby - well done on a dry Sunday especially while preparing a roast!
Athena how was DP this weekend?
Woosey are you feeling better now after the caravan weekend?
Mamma Exercise is a great way to get over drinking urges. I have a 63km trail race coming up in 3 weeks which will be tough so I'm running every day, and doing that with the remotest hangover is out of the question. Scared of weight gain too with wine (and the cheese that goes with it)
Usual bottle of wine for me over the weekend, am incapable of drinking more than 2 glasses of wine because of the fear of not sleeping and feeling shit the next day. I still have a dependency problem as I really enjoy the wine and look forward to it at the weekend, AF completely would be very difficult for me.

Angalise yesterday was my day 2 . I was AF Saturday too so a dry weekend.

Not sure om today yet. Just been to.order my flowers for the wedding with my lovely, lovely auntie. I love her to bits and she will do an amazing job but she ain't half a witterer. Between her and the woman in the flower shop who was VERY LOUD it took about an hour to get everything sorted.

But it's done with now.

And this morning I practised my wedding make up. What do you think? I don't think I look bad from the neck up for 40 (with the help of make up lol).

Off to do a blitz of the house. It's bloody freezing here and have kept ds home from school as he still isn't 100%. Then tomorrow I have the hairdressers.

Would very much like to commit to AF tonight but am already thinking about a glass of wine later which isn't a good sign. I feel much better AF and sleep much better and if I don't drink today I will start losing all the retained fluid which is always nice.

I should be AF from now until the wedding which is 19 days away but won't manage it... Which is pretty pathetic really.

Fab make up frouby. You look really lovely and fresh faced :-) Wow to two days!! Good on you!! And on a weekend too!! Mind you, it seems to make no difference to me what day of the week it is!!
What colour flowers have you opted for?

I can’t commit to being AF tonight. There’s half a bottle in the fridge so no doubt will have that. But the way I look at it is..it’s not a WHOLE bottle!! 😑

Had shit afternoon already. Argued with dh and can’t get past his views on this particular subject. He’s so black and white and for this he needs to be grey!! Am trying with all my might not to exceed to half bottle that’s in the fridge!! Have cancelled kettle bells tonight which again I know is a bad move. But physically, emotionally and mentally I can’t give anymore. Am trying to get through to bedtime without having a meltdown completely!!

Very glowy frouby ! Subtle and fresh.

Will try to catch up with everyone else’s posts later. Distraction!

Day one. And wobbling. I always find the day after a wet day hard, no idea why! But I must try. Just excuses as usual. Work is a bit rubbish. DH rubbing me up the wrong way, then dropping hints at an ‘early night’ and the frankly the thought of sober sex with a DH who is driving me to distraction doesn’t appeal much. Day one I am also very very irritable, always.

Then I think about that and it sounds pretty awful!

Me too woosey.

Asked dd to pick up some shower gel on the way home from school. She's walked in with a bottle of bubble bath. I could see ot was bubble bath from across the room. Then she argued it was shower gel because not all shower gel is called shwer gel. It might not be but this is called a cream bath which means it makes your bath water creamy.

Can't even use bubble bath as it gives me thrush.

Then ds has done an experiment with a bottle of apple cordial.

It's very sticky to clean off even a newly mopped kitchen floor.

Dp has walked in, declared he is still tired and fucked off upstairs. If he is laid on my clean on today bedding without having had a shower I will stab him.

And the bag of carrots I bought the other day is a day out.of date but gone slimy and rotten.

Wine oclock here.

Lots to catch up with here.

Then she argued it was shower gel because not all shower gel is called shwer gel.

Your 14 yo and mine were evidently separated at birth, Frouby. That is just what she would say, rather than "sorry I got the wrong thing".

I love, love, love the photo of you. Gorgeous. I don't wear make-up because I wouldn't know where to start, though said 14 yo says I need it because I look, like, really old.

Otherwise... Very sorry that you have had a bad day. Same goes for you, Woosey. I know the feeling well. I once described it to someone as feeling as if I were a car which was trying to run without any petrol in its tank.

Alabaster: Day One (again) here too. As always, Day One is easy following a night of stupid excess and, guess what, crap sleep. A workmate offered me a beer at lunch time and I turned it down (not least as I thought it might make me sick).

Yesterday's problem was, as always, the effing off switch. I had a couple of glasses of Champagne at this family b'day party - but could I leave it at that? No I bloody well couldn't. And so I went home and drank gin, as the DC stayed at the party. FML. This morning, I was strongly reminded of the William Porter book (Anglaise will probably remember this too). He says alcohol is like a particularly vile loan shark. Whatever 'good' feelings you may think it gives you are soon outweighed by the payoff of self-loathing, paranoia, misery, poor sleep, etc.

Other than that... Thanks for asking about DP, Anglaise. I think the immediate crisis has passed, but I have to try to work out if/how I can deal with someone who may or may not be telling me the truth.

Frouby, you’ve just made me laugh out loud at the plan to stab dp if he’s led on your clean on bedding!! I’d totally do that too!! That’s number one reason too I’d say!!

Alabasterangel- sober sex when they’re being knobs is NEVER appealing is it!!

Still only have the half bottle in the fridge so hanging on as late as I can. I too want to stab dh for being a complete dick!! Is it full moon?? He’s being the most selfish knob he’s been in the 20 odd years I’ve known him!! Can’t get past it emotionally today!! 😢
Desperately trying to stay away from my gin cupboard as after Friday nights splurge of drunken honesty, I’d like to refrain from that happening again tonight!!!!!!!

Frouby love the pic! We're dying to know what DH did?

Day one af here......christ it's been hard. It's been a smidge warm too which always means a cheeky drink in the afternoon right? I don't work on a Monday so today was spent with my overtired toddler. Last Monday I drank a lot.....i know this because on Tuesday I couldn't focus on work as I felt terrible and could only concentrate on all the food I wanted to stuff my face with to make me feel better. And counting down the hours so I could go and raid the corner shop. It wasn't pretty.
So this week I am setting myself the monumental and rather ridiculous target of being Af til Friday. i really, really want to do it. And there's only me dropping it. Bonkers isn't it.

Love reading the updates so glad I found this thread. x

Frouby you look pretty and natural in that photo, great make-up! Athena glad things went better for you and DP this weekend. Woosey half a bottle is half as bad as a whole one.
Mamma you can do it, just take one day at a time and find something to do during your trigger period. Even decluttering and cleaning out a cupboard can keep you busy and take your mind off that evening drink, plus you achieve something at the same time. Think of the calories and money you will save even over just 4 nights!
My kids are on holiday this week and tomorrow is a bank holiday but no 🍷 just ☕️ don't want to waste the day tomorrow by feeling shit because of a bad night's sleep or a mild hangover.

Hi All, mind if I join?

I'm 29 days AF as have been doing a 28 day challenge, but plan to extend to the weekend. DP and I did the challenge together ( he needed it more than me) and actually it was fairly enjoyable.

I'm now a bit anxious about reintroducing alcohol after this period of abstinence and keeping my long term drinking moderate.

I definitely do want to drink again. I enjoy a glass of red on a Friday night or a beer on a sunny day. What I really don't enjoy is how crappy I feel when I drink. I'd really like to keep to one or two drinks when I do drink again.

Anybody achieved sustained moderation after DJ or similar (even for a time)?

Hi All, I haven't had time to catch up on the thread yet - so hope everyone is doing ok. The last few weeks have been chaos, and alcohol wise, ive been getting back into bad habits. We have a terminally ill close family member; and after a particularly stressful Saturday, Myself, DH and BiL got very drunk. I felt awful all day yesterday; but still managed a half bottle of red last night. So, here I am again, Day 1 AF! My aim this week is to make it to Friday without a drink, as when I open a bottle on Thursday, it seems to go downhill for the rest of the week.

Pontius you are still doing well despite the blip at the weekend, I'm sure you can do AF until Friday, just remember how awful you felt Sunday morning
Welcome to the thread Tobermory, I think in order to moderate successfully after being AF (I don't know what DJ is!) you need to set your self rules and stick to them, for example the total number of units you will drink over an evening or week, the frequency you will drink and also a sustained period of AF each week to get out of the wine or beer or gin o'clock period. I used to drink at least 5 bottles of wine a week (I had a wine box so conveniently could forget how much exactly) and decided enough was enough last August so set my rules, AF in the week and no more than one bottle of wine over the weekend, so never over 10 units a week, which is the max units recommended here in France. I've stuck to the rules consistently so it is possible! I just don't want to go back to the sleepless nights, the fuzzy dehydrated feeling the morning after and all the wasted time, plus I'm a lot less snappy and anxious. You really need to stop after one or two drinks - the willpower is too easily lost to stop after three or more. Good luck!

Mamma and Pontious, maybe we should all try to be AF until Friday together. No guarantees, mind... Pontious, I'm really sorry to hear about what you are going through .

Tobermory, welcome. You are about a thousand miles ahead of me, but it will be interesting to hear how you get on with moderating. Anglaise's advice is, as always, very good.

Frouby, what state was your DP in when he returned?!

Quick post.....hi everyone. Day/night 2 AF. Really testing evening and wanted to throttle dh whilst drinking a lot of wine. Thankfully had a run with a friend booked in so let off steam that way.
Why is it sloop hard. Past the witching hour for me so fingers crossed I'm not Going to give in. I will make it to Friday!!!!??
Stay strong ladies x

Day 30 AF today, officially the longest spell off since I was pg (13 years ago!)

A colleague gave me a nice bottle of red as a thank you today. It's in the wine rack and I'm looking forward to having at the weekend ( not all at once, taking your point about moderation Anglais!)

I am, however having an AF beer ( Beck's Blue). Whilst being AF I've tried a few alternatives, and DP and I have specially bought them in for the weekends. I do not recommend AF wine . Some of the beers are ok though, and the Beck's version is particularly authentic. Plus no desire to ever drink more than 2!

Has anyone tried substituting AF fakes?

Mamma running is a much better way to relieve stress than drinking!
Tobermory I know AF wine and beer help a lot of people. I tried an AF beer once and didn't like it, but I've never tried wine. They don't appeal to me at all, I stick to fizzy water tea and coffee, which I love. But there is a huge market for them so a lot of people find them a good alternative and help them stop the hard stuff.

Mamma, Day 2 almost over here, too. I went in the garden for an hour at 6.30 in the hope that weeding would take my mind off it. It didn't, but at least I didn't cave in. Had a smoothie instead.

Tobermory, I also like Beck's Blue. Loathe AF wine. I bought a bottle and gave it to the DC as it was so disgusting.

great idea to go til Friday together Athena. It will definitely make me feel more accountable. Mamma, I also find a run really helps, it clears my head and makes me feel like I don't want to undo all my good work. The Jason Vale book feels like a total Alan Carr rip off and is staring at me from the bedside table part read. Perhaps I should commit to reading a chapter each night.

This is a great thread. Im going to start drinking water through the day so my tea is a treat in the evening.

Pontons I hated Jason Vale and je was taken to court for ripping off Alan Carr.
Try William Porter or Catherine gray the Unexpected Joy of being Sober its a great read and some really good tips.

I second Anglaise's recommendation of William Porter. He isn't a great writer (very repetitious), but he explains very clearly exactly what's going on, particularly with the defective "off" switch which most of us seem to suffer from.

Ferris, I love the idea of tea being a treat. I am trying to find naice fizzy drinks (Waitrose have a good selection) to get me through an evening. They're something to look forward to... I baulk at the cost of them (around £2 per bottle) - though this is ridiculous, really, given what I would otherwise spend on gin...

Pontious, we need to check up on one another tonight!!