Not dry january. But less booze in general. Anyone else?

[Frouby]

I am posting this thread because I really want to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink.

I was going to do dry January but think that is too much for me. And when I do drink again I will revert back to bad habits.

On a normal week I would have 1 or 2 g and ts mon to thurs. Bottle of wine on a friday. Then either a couple of beers or a couple of g and ts on a Saturday night. Nothing on sunday.

Over Christmas (which started for us mid December as we had a holiday) I have drank every day. Never been drunk drunk but 4 or 5 drinks every day.

I feel fat, bloated and lethargic. I want to cut my drinking down to a couple of nights a week. Friday and Saturday. Or thursday and friday. DP also drinks most days (more than me too) and we both need to address our relationship with alcohol.

I didn't drink last night and won't tonight either. And I feel 100% better already. We get married in May and I want to lose weight and improve my health.

Does anyone else want to join this thread for support? I know there is the dry January thread but I will be drinking (probably) 2 days a week so dont want to post on there and knock any penguins off the ice.

Currently drinking ginger ale with loads of ice and contemplating a shower and a cupp of tea later with the last of the Christmas cake (diet starts tomorrow) 😁

Not going well, here. Two family birthdays and a bank hol is a bad combination...

Hello all.

Well, I am in a right old mess. Had far too much to drink last night. Feel horrendous today - both physically and psychologically. Am now sitting here in a panic about how much damage I have done to my liver. I absolutely have to get a grip on this, but am not sure how to at the moment .

How is everyone else doing?

Shit here too Athena. 2 boozy bbqs on the bounce. Wasnt going to drink tonight but it's such a beautiful day I am sat outside while ds is in the paddling pool drinking a can of lager.

Will only have 1 or 2 tho. I am justifying it with the rare sunshine.

Glad to hear from you, Frouby. BBQ was my undoing yesterday. I am really panicking today about what I am doing to myself. I feel deeply ashamed that I have let it get to this state. Definitely AF tonight, as I feel too ill to do otherwise.

Hi you lovely lot.

Athena..I’m totally with you. I go into deep panic status about what I’m doing to my body and the implications alcohol is having on my body. It terrifies me but then I can’t stop myself.
Frouby..how long til the big day now?? Must be on real countdown now hey!! Watching a child in a paddling pool, is enough to earn a lager or wine hands down!!!!!

Hi everyone else..sorry no personals..am now finally coming back to earth so should be back on track with them in no time.
I’ve drunk a bottle a night all weekend. So much for cutting down!! Then last night I drunk 1.5bottles. (Added up from a couple in the bar, then remainder once home)
I really have to slow down. I know I’m having a shit time currently but drinking isn’t the answer..I know that!!
So this wkend has done me the world of good. Dd has been relatively well which is a relief. Only a couple of panics but rectified ok thankfully. My adrenaline is catapulted into oblivion..then takes such a long time to come back to normal that I drink to chill.
Boozy night and take away on cards tonight when Dh gets back from golf. Then day 1 tomorrow 😉

Woosey, I'm glad to hear your DD is relatively ok. I think we are both having a shit time, and we both know that drinking isn't the answer - but it's all easier said than done. I rang Drinkaware today in a panic about whether I have done permanent damage to myself, and whether it's now too late to rectify it. I'm having a bad day...

Oh Athena. I really do feel your pain. What did drinkaware say? How much have you been having each night?? Remember you can do this..you can do AF days. And even one or two a week is a major step for us.
Have things not improved with dp?? And how the dc’s? Is it stressful the thought of eldest coming home from uni for summer? I know I’m finding I’m thinking how we will manage when ds comes home next month. We clash massively when he’s home as he really should be living elsewhere - he knows how to cook everything better than me apparently, but somehow doesn’t know how to clear up!! The house gets transformed from one of relative order, to a shack of arguing and mess!!

After 31 days AF I have been drinking a bit over the last few days. I was worried moderation would be hard and I'd end up going off it like a kid in a sweet shop.

However: Thursday 1 glass red. Not great. Thought I'd lst my taste for vino altogether ( it turned out to be a pretty crappy bottle).
Friday: 2 glasses. I ended up staying up late watching TV and snacking. So usual Friday habits. Whilst I've been AF I've not been snacking at all.
Saturday: one AF beer and one small wine in the beer garden. One bottle beer with the BBQ on at home, took me ages to drink and could easily have done without it.
Sunday: was a scorcher so after a busy morning dp and I walked down to the local. I had a pint and one glass of wine. Then nothing else.
Although I've drank a bit, I feel pretty proud as some of the pitfalls for both me and DP have been circumvented. Like picking up a bottle on the way home from the beer garden ( slippery slope drinking) or not being able to leave a bottle unfinished, or having serious snacks whilst sharing a bottle of red on a Sunday with a boxset.

I'm really reexamining my relationship with alcohol. I think all the time I thought I needed it, there was something else I really needed more.

Wow that’s incredible and very inspiring!! Well done you!!

Tobermory, that's brilliant. Congratulations!!

Woosey, Drinkaware said it is never too late to stop/cut back enough to make a difference. Part of my problem is, I suppose, that I'm very slim and look ok - which makes me think I'm not really doing any harm. Though I know this is absolutely not true (read a lot about liver damage today). I had something in the region of 18 units last night, according to the Drinkaware calculator. I am ashamed to write this, but I know nobody here will judge. However, I think that admitting it out loud is at least a positive step. Have remained AF tonight, obviously.

Rather dreading DC1 being here for three months over summer, although it pains me to say it. Arguing and mess is about the size of it. DP very bothersome, too. A friend said he is shallow and selfish, and I think she is possibly right on both counts, though I seem to manage to overlook his many flaws and love him regardless . I do note, though, that my drinking has increased since he and I have been together...

I think all the time I thought I needed it, there was something else I really needed more

Tobermory that says it all. You might think alcohol is the answer to your problems but it isn't, it just makes the anxiety and stress worse, not to mention all the time you waste feeling pants the morning after.
Athena the fact that you are now drinking more with you DP than before you met him speaks volumes about the health of your relationship. As does your friend's opinion of him.
Woosey I'm really sorry for all your problems - if you are on FB the Club soda group is really helpful and supportive if you want to stop or cut down drinking. Often the only way to cut down and moderate is to go Af for a few weeks or even months like Tobermory did.

Anglaise, another friend said he was a "right tool". I really know how to pick them...

Oh Athena...”a right tool”. Jeeeez..so hard for you when you love him. I’ve been there for the tshirt. If only our heads and hearts could vote unanimously hey!!
As for your 18units..that’s worried me hugely. I’ve prob drunk 3x that this week!! And a lot of weeks previously. God!! Makes me feel my problem is bigger than I allow for.
So anglais..help.....what if I love the taste of wine?! I don’t actually like being drunk. In fact it freaks me out!! I love the taste and initial chill effect of that first glass. Then it goes wrong. If only there was an alternative.....

Athena....we can do this together. We are both having a shit time..we both know that we aren’t in control of alcohol...let’s try!!

I’ve drunk a bottle of Pinot tonight very happily. Something happened in my world that left me shaking with anger. I can’t say as it all out me, but I can say it means cutting someone from my life..I can’t move forward without doing so!!

Woosey you can't help yourself until you admit you have a problem. A bottle of Pinot is around 11 units, so if you are drinking a bottle every night that's nearly 80 units a week, which is quite a lot. I was like you, I loved the taste of wine and it was my friend most nights, but I knew I was dependent and had so see if I was addicted, so I went to my doctor, saw a hypnotist for a few sessions and that gave me the trigger to stop the habit. I was lucky in that I found I'm not addicted and can still enjoy one or two glasses and STOP but I know from reading books and from the Club Soda FB page that a lot of people can't do that.
Read or listen on audiobook to Catherine Gray's The Unexpected Joy of being sober, I think you would like that one.
Life is honestly much easier hangover free. I can't lecture as drank red wine most evenings for 20 years and it took me ages to do something about it, like Athena I was slim so no need to lose weight, very sporty and ran really well even before stopping the regular drinking, but the lack of sleep and fuzzy mornings and the fact of showing a bad influence to my kids got to me in the end. Plus the knowledge of what I was doing wasn't normal.

Woosey, I'm so sorry to hear that you have now had an extra degree of stress and upset on top of everything else. I still feel crap today (miserable, shaky etc), so hoping to manage Day 2. As for DP... I am afraid all my friends are unkeen. Though he is also charming, clever, funny, charismatic etc, etc.

Anglaise, I am getting fed up with poor sleep, feeling groggy all day etc, etc. Will see how it goes... My problem has only developed over the past 2.5 years, but it is now undeniably a problem.

Morning all

Sorry to hear everyones troubles.

Athena I know what you mean about the blind panic at what damage we may have done. However it's not too late to make a difference to your health. It's very difficult to make long term changes and break a destructive habit. It took me 5 times and 6 years to stop smoking. I used to indulge in social drugs like ecstasy when I was young and daft and that became a habit too.

I think you either have an addictive personality or you dont. I know I do. I just wish I could replace my vices with something more constructive than alcohol.

Had a very wet weekend. Only had 3 cans of lager yesterday though which is better.

But havr put 3lbs on since thursday 😮. Which isn't good when I get married in erm, 11 days. So am definetly staying off wine and lager and sticking to gin and slim. Tonight will probably be wet. Having a bbw for tea with the last of the heat wave. Dry Wednesday and Thursday hopefully.

Currently got my wedding dress in the washing machine. Will let you know later if it was an inspired move or if I am off shopping again tomorrow.

Hello Frouby. 11 days!!! What a thought. Will be interested to hear how the dress comes out. Also interested to read about your previous habits. I was very boring and never did anything at all (though an inability to eat when I was younger is arguably somewhat destructive). I was addicted to the feeling of not eating, so I suppose that's just another form of addiction. Sigh. Feeling sick today, and have convinced myself, thanks to Dr Google, that it is because I have damaged my liver beyond repair.

Frouby- yes let us know how the dress turns out. Are you feeling mega excited? I’ve totally got an addictive personality..100% need a buzz!!

Athena - I too didn’t do anything when younger. In fact I missed out the whole clubbing/drinking/partying scene when I was younger due to being an athlete. I was so dedicated to keeping my body fit and healthy. Wish I could say the same now. I started drinking after I divorced my first husband. It’s been a gradual decline. However when trying for a baby with husband number 2, and subsequent pregnancies, I didn’t even sniff any alcohol. Then went on to breast feed each baby for 18mths, and again..not even a sniff!! But I soon slipped into it again. As dd grew and became poorly, I’ve tuened to drink to cope. But I know it’s the wrong choice.
Sorry you’re feeling rubbish today..sounds like you’re being hard on yourself though..you can definitely do this..I know you can. Rooting for you x

Dress is absolutely fine thank god. Hung in my bedroom window drying as we speak. Also found a local bridal shop that will press it me as well so dropping in next week. They are going to do a fitting as well and any alterations that might need doing tho am hoping it doesn't need any.

For the £30 they are charging to press it, its worth every penny as I really didn't fancy doing it myself. Then I can collect it the day before and take it straight to the hotel as I have the bridal suite the night before and hang it up there so it's nice and crease free.

Following as I have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I mean very :(

Solostinlife - welcome. Glad you’ve found us here. We’ve all been brought together due to our unhealthy relationship with alcohol so I’m sure we can be some help in some way. Just recognising the bad relationship, is the first step.

Thank you woosey35 I've known it for a few years but life keeps throwing me curve balls and wine seems to be the only way to deal with anything. Total circle of self hatred.

Totally can relate to that!! Something happens in the day which makes me think, “sod it!! I’ll start AF tomorrow..I need a drink now!”

Solostinlife, there are some seriously lovely people on this thread. I really hope it's helpful to you. I am in full-on self hatred mode today. However, I have bought some Vitamin B tablets, having read that they are good for people who have damaged their bodies by abusing alcohol.

Frouby, I'm so glad the dress has come out ok. I, too, would be paying £30 for the pressing service. I hope you will show us a photo!!

Woosey, thank you. Isn't it weird how we have slithered into this? I didn't touch a drop for years and years - not for the whole time I was pregnant/had small children/primary aged children etc.

I sort of blamed it on my relationship with DP earlier, but it's also true to say that I started drinking much more when I left XH. It was a very stressful time - he had been abusive to the DC, threatened to hang himself, leave me penniless, homeless, etc, etc, etc. I met DP at around the same time, so I suppose it was a bit much all at once.