Any Birth Parents want to talk and support each other?

[darkriver19886]

I had a look around the different forums but, this seems the most appropriate place. In the absence of outward support (been six months since After Adoption shutdown) looking to turn to other birth parents who are wanting to support each other positively.

This thread can be a basic chat, a check-in or whatever you desire. I just don't want to be a thread bashing social services or adopters.

I’ve just turned my x box off. Haven’t played it in a long while but I wanted something that I had to concentrate on. Going to read a book and go bed.

Glad you did something positive today. I always feel better for being out in nature, somehow more grounded and in awe of the city I live in.

What games do you play?
I have an Xbox and find it helps to kill time.

Mainly car racing games like need for speed, or something like assassins creed or grand theft auto. I like the missions. Not that I’ve really played grand theft in a number of years despite having it in my collection.

It definitely passes time fast

I play Dragon Age, fable, assassin's creed. (Loved origins) I also play neverwinter (free to play) elder Scrolls online and Skyrim.

Sorry to but in but can I recommend red dead redemption 2 it’s amazing! Take care x so nice to see ppl supporting each other on here.

It's an incredible game from what I understand but a little out of my price range currently! I try not to buy mega expensive games anymore, I learned that mistake with Monster Hunter world.

Hi just checking in.
Had a goodish day, went out for breakfast with a friend and then went shopping. No letterbox yet but, I am not holding my breath for it to arrive till the end of the month- I know its early days. Therapy tomorrow, which should be fun. Hope this week will be a bit more positive than the last one.

Hey, yeah I tend not to hold my breath as it does tend to be delayed which adds to the emotions around it especially as nothing is guaranteed and it could be a case of my sons parents saying “we don’t want to do it anymore” with no warning and that be it.

I’ve started getting my thoughts together to write back but I haven’t written anything complete yet. It’s always hard to know what to put and not all of their questions do I want to answer as not all of them I feel are beneficial to our son.

Glad you had a nice day shopping and breakfast with your friend.

@ourchristmasmiracle I understand that, I have decided that regardless of the circumstances I will keep writing until the youngest is 18. Obviously its harder to keep writing when there is no response but, I want to be able to show the girls I kept caring regardless.

As for gathering thoughts, I didn't have enough time to do that last time due to the letter arriving with photos that I wasn't supposed to receive, so I had to dash a quick letter back and sent the picture back which was one of the hardest things I had to do.

Gosh, I had to straighten the days, Yesterday the session really threw me for a loop and I couldn't even think straight all day. Still struggling with it now. However, thats the nature of my illness, never a dull moment.

I feel that I will also continue to write regardless and keep the emails with the attachment so that my son knows I cared and I tried even if it was returned or ignored.

I’ve started to draft my letter back little by little but it’s difficult

Just take your time and write bit by bit. I know how difficult it is.

Just checking in to see how you're doing @OurChristmasMiracle.

I went out again with a friend and got a few bits in, my mental health is really bad and just trying to ride it out until Thursday.

Hi @darkriver19886 I’ve been okay. Work was full on last week and I’m feeling shattered from all the emotions. My mental health is doing okay but my eating isn’t good but I think that’s down to hormones.

I think my letter is pretty much complete now so I will probably send that back this week.

If you ever need someone to talk to I don’t mind listening - I know how hard being a birth parent is and how badly it does affect mental health.

Take it is easy and rest if and when you can. I know that it's not easy to do but, still.

I seem to be doing a little bit better at the moment but it comes in waves. I have moments of clarity but, it doesn't take much to pull me back into the dissociated bubble that is often my reality. I have taken to play WOW again as a method of distraction, which works briefly. I am going down Colchester for a meet up in two weeks so need to pull myself together. It will be the first time meeting real-life people with the same condition as me so I am excited and terrified.

No letter as of yet unsurprisingly, I should be getting the pictures soon. I think I know which one to send. I was a little gutted that no got a picture of me when I performed a piece of my writing. Oh well.

I hope that you have a good week at work.

I spent most of the day cuddled up yesterday. Think my boyfriend knew I needed it. I’m at work and functioning. Going to have to send this letter back this week, I’m conscious it’s taken me nearly 2 weeks to write back already.

It sounds like a good thing to be interacting with other people who suffer from the same illness. I’m epileptic and the amount of times people look at me and say “but it doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with you”

I’ve stopped sending photos of myself mainly because I know at the moment they aren’t shared with my son at the moment so it seems like I’m just sending them for no real reason after all the point of me sending them was so my son could see I’m okay.

I am glad that you have your boyfriend and he's supportive.

I know what you mean about the hidden disabilities comment. I have a heart condition as well and people just don't get it. "You don't look like you have mental health problems!". My mental health condition is also greatly stigmatized and get a lot of stupid questions around that. I have decided to get a T-shirt with one of the most famous ones. lol

As for pictures I don't mind sending them once a year but think its silly to send it every six months as adults don't change that much!

I unfortunately have a multitude of “invisible” health problems. There’s days literally when I’m curled up in a ball like a child unable to get out of bed with pain but people don’t see that Cos once the meds kick in, I get up and go to work anyway. I suffer (and suffer is the right word) with endometriosis, poly cystic ovaries and on my last scan my right ovary had appeared to split into 2 which confused my poor gynaecologist. But I have my tens machine and since the laparoscopy and the endometriosis being removed as much as possible I’ve been better equipped to deal with the pain. It’s also meant that I no longer feel like I’m going insane and the pain was all in my head.

With photos, I’m no longer getting any as they feel my son has a right to privacy, so it made me question the benefit to my son at this time- he isn’t even aware contact takes place so what’s the benefit of sending photos. I do take photos so that in years to come if our son wishes to see his birth mums changes over the years then I will happily send them for him, but for now I also feel I have a right to privacy too.

Sorry to hear how painful your endometriosis is!

I went to the carnival tonight its the worlds biggest illuminated carnival in the world. (probably giving my location away but oh well.) it was very wet, very cold and very loud. I find stuff like that so overwhelming but, I love supporting my town so felt the need to go.

I have therapy tomorrow, very anxious as last week was awful and took me ages to recover. It will be fine, I am sure it will be but I have been feeling insecure about the therapeutic relationship even though last week she reassured me twice that she wasn't giving upon me.

@darkriver19886 hope your therapy goes well. And of course your therapist won’t give up on you, they are there to help work through your problems with you.

It’s good to expose yourself gently to things that are outside of your comfort zone but you also have to take care of your own mental health as well

Therapy was better today. Lot calmer, lot less triggering. Hope your having a good day.

Today I’m due to have new windows fitted so I’m at home having take a day of annual leave. Hopefully they will be here soon to get them done and sorted. Been told it will be today and tomorrow. Don’t really get why it’s gonna take 2 days for the windows but oh well.

It's annoying that they are so vague! Did they turn up?

They did turn up. And I do have lovely new windows but they need to come back and plaster the walls and paint them and one of my kitchen tiles got cracked but that should be repaired as well. Now I just need to sort putting curtains up and the kitchens blind.

How was your day?

Oh man, sorry about the plastering etc. Hopefully they will repair it soon.

I had an okay day. I went to late night shopping and then went out for something to eat.

I’m sure it will look really nice once it’s been finished but it’s annoying me in the meantime.

Today I’m just waiting in and resting up as much as possible. Will go gym later, although think boyfriend will be back later. Have you got plans for today?