Any Birth Parents want to talk and support each other?

[darkriver19886]

I had a look around the different forums but, this seems the most appropriate place. In the absence of outward support (been six months since After Adoption shutdown) looking to turn to other birth parents who are wanting to support each other positively.

This thread can be a basic chat, a check-in or whatever you desire. I just don't want to be a thread bashing social services or adopters.

Oh certainly. I have been single since I got pregnant to my youngest so almost 4 years now. I have been separated from my husband for 5 years now and will be filing for divorce soon. He's disappeared into thin air so it makes it harder. Wanted to wait 5 years to make it easier so he didn't contest. Not in a rush for a partner, I have been going out a little bit more but, just happy to meet people.

Therapy was okay today. Covered lots of topics in a fast amount of time. An hour never feels enough.

@OurChristmasMiracle I hope the move goes/went well.

Thank you @darkriver19886
I’ve only got a few more things. Just my fridge freezer to get picked up n I’ve a new bed coming hopefully tomorrow so I’m pretty much done.

Exhausted but happy.

Thank you for asking. Hope you are well

Following

Glad it went well @OurChristmasMiracle. Welcome @Phimma
I had a good weekend. Just chilling and gaming.

Hope you are well @darkriver1988 last few days have been manic. Back to work tomorrow though so managed to do as much as I could. Now to rest a bit I think

Think coming down with something. Never put the heating on at this point of the year but too cold. Been under a lot of mental stress as well so that's probably led to me being worn down.

Take it easy, I have been in my flat for 13 months now and still feel like I am unpacking, even though I am pretty happy in the space.

Difficult anniversary today. I went into labour this time three years ago. It was two days later when I have birth. Traumatised by a rough labour.

I can pin point my mental breakdown to this point.

@darkriver1988

Anniversaries are always tough. Just be kind to yourself. It’s also rubbish that you also aren’t feeling well. Just try to look after yourself

Just checking in. I didn't speak in therapy about tomorrow, I kind of steered away with it. I will be okay, I always am though.

Hope you are ok @darkriver19886 and today is gentle on you.

I was fine until it all went silent. Now I am recalling it all. Such overwhelming pain.

I know it’s so painful and very few people genuinely understand the pain. I hope you’ve managed to process your emotions and are looking after yourself.

I am doing okay, I had a rough few moments last night but I managed to pull through.
I am out now having lunch with a friend. How are you?

I’m ok. Starting to finally get a little settled. Think my boyfriend is coming over for dinner later so that will be nice.

That's great. Have a nice time, I have just had a roast dinner and feel stuffed now!
Unfortunately, have to wash up now.

I’ve just washed up myself. I had a roast too. Roast beef. Was needed. Now I’m gonna tuck into chocolate gateau that we couldn’t manage earlier before a good book and a nice glass of j2o spritz.

Hope you have a nice evening.

I haven't done the washing up yet! I have decluttered a large cupboard I stuffed full of stuff when i moved in 14 months ago. I found my ex h old address so I can get the ball rolling on the divorce. He moved and hasn't left a forwarding address. So it's going to be annoying process.

I am trying to decide what to do with all the court documents.

I’d speak to a law centre and see what grounds you could use for the divorce. Have you tried looking online at the electoral roll for an address for him?

I divorced my ex without his consent as he refused to acknowledge it and it just proved his unreasonable and controlling behaviour further. I had to get an affidavit to do so and re issue the petition to his solicitor and last known address but it was granted. Took 15 months give or take from petition to divorce.

My letterbox is overdue so I’ve emailed social worker which is now under a completely different place as the local authority I dealt with no longer deal with post adoption support or letterbox.

Hopefully I will hear back today from the new social worker. They have been quick to respond so far.

We have been seperated five years and so I don't even need his consent but I have to go through the motions.

Sorry @ourchristmasmiracle that contact is late (again) I rang PAC-UK the other day and they said letterbox is regularly late. I have my letterbox due next month so need to get some pictures printed off.

Yeah contact is regularly late for me too. It’s frustrating because the local authority was dealing with it and I had no clue that had changed until I contacted them and got a bounce back email as I so often have.

Divorce is so complicated but you will get there.

Yeah mine changed as well. Two councils merged. I am meant to get view only photos but have no idea where I am meant to go to view them.

I will be glad to be divorced. The marriage has been like a stone around my neck.

A number of local authorities have merged apparently so I’m not sure how this will work but I’m hoping it will be positive and I’m trying to remain optimistic.

I just need to de-stress. I just deactivated my twitter account as some adoptees turned on me. Calling me a liar and accusing me of faking my mental health to "excuse my behaviour".

I am not sure if I will go back or start a new account. Maybe just not getting involved with the adoption hashtag. They don't know me and I am really struggling now.

I can understand a lot of adult adoptees are angry but it's triggering.

I honestly still don’t think that many people truly understand. Yes I did fail my child but no one talks about how I was failed repeatedly- in my childhood and when I reached out for help.

The reality is the threshold to receive help is so high that by the time you meet it, it’s too late.