newborn adoption

[BrightSunshineyDay]

I gave birth yesterday and immediately relinquished responsibility. I have so much going round in my head right now that I hope no-one minds if I blurt it out here.
I will be speaking with social workers tomorrow so I want to think of as many questions as possible. I know without a doubt I am doing the right thing. He will go to a foster family for a few weeks until new parents are found (I was in denial about the pregnancy until only a couple ofdays ago)
How quickly will he be found a new family? Will the new family be in my local area? Should I write him a letter explaining my life circumstances and his birth story? Should I get him a keepsake? Is letterbox contact the best thing for him and his new family? Thats all I want. What is best for him. I want to do whatever is best so he can grow up not feeling abandoned or deserted. I want him to know I love him but I want him to have the best life possible.
Please tell me there are parents/a parent out there who are just about to receive into their life the most perfect beautiful boy, and they will be kind and loving and settled.
Sorry for the brain dump - I've been awake for hours and this is all going round in my head.

I've been reading along and in awe of your strength but haven't had anything to add. Coram sounds like great people to talk to, but if you're struggling to get through you could try BAAF - but right NOW as they are only open until 1pm. Numbers are here www.baaf.org.uk/info/advice.

It seems from their website that they are more about adoptive/foster parents, but maybe they will be able to signpost you to other people/numbers who can help, if you continue to struggle to get through to Coram.

I agree with everyone else that they are failing you at the moment. I hope you are writing down the times of every phone call and what is said (briefly).

Could you call your local MP?

Yes, phone her now.

Yes, please call the manager.

Bright

You need a solicitor now. Ring around each and everyone in your area until you can speak to one in person. Explain that this is an emergency situation and that you need to withdraw consent from a section 20 and that you have been apart from your newborn son for over a week now and that you are being fobbed off from SS.

If you cannot get someone to act for you immediately then get hold of the SW manager again and explicitly state to them that you are withdrawing consent for the section 20 and you want your ds returned now. Also state that you will be immediately following this up in writing(e-mail) as it is not okay for them to withhold your child from you against your will unless they have applied for an EPO (emergency protection order).

Thank you. Have left message for HV. Still can't get through to coram. Trying manager of initial assessment saw then will call baaf.
Thankyou so much.

Good luck.

You have the whole of Mumsnet behind you!!

Good luck bright. I hope you get somewhere today. This must be so frustrating for you.

thank you. Just spoken to the manager. She said regardless of anyone being off sick I need to have contact so she is making some calls then calling me back.
Thank you all so much for the advice and listening to me ramble.

Yes phone her. There is no reason to be delaying things, hour son needs to get a chance to start bonding with you instead of with a foster carer. Unless they show they have concerns about his safety with you, it is NOT in his best interest to be with a stranger and miss out on things like bonding with you and breast feeding. Use these words, and say you want a concrete plan of reunification, including a timeframe.

Good luck. I hope she calls back soon, you not having contact very soon just isn't good enough. However they need to be talking and planning his return to you, not just contact.

I hope you can get through to someone very soon. But if you're not getting anywhere today, I would contact a solicitor

Another one sending you strength, OP.

My daughter handed her ds over under an s20, and they weren't happy when we tried to revoke it (different circs, but just a reminder that it's not as easy as saying "I'll have ds back now". Esp if you get a jobsworth )

Keep plugging away; get legal advice, speak to the agencies as recommended above, also Family Rights Group (www.frg.org). Involve your MP. Find out names of team managers, their managers, and their managers and copy them in on everything. Look up the social workers Code of Conduct and point out where they are failing your son, and you.

Sorry - feel as though I'm ranting, and it can be exhausting to think of what to do next, but we are all right behind you xx

thank you. She called back. She has spoken to new sw manager and said I need to have contact. I still have sole pr and its only a section 20 and I have realised very quickly I want ds back. So I am back to waiting for a phone call. She said I should call her in the morning if I've still not heard anything and she will escalate things. She didn't sound impressed.

Thank you yellow Should I still make further calls this afternoon or wait to hear? My head is spinning and I can't stop crying.

No matter what or how SS perceive your situation they are 100% PLUS out of order with or without a care order, have seen children removed under police protection orders, full care orders and from hospitals all have seen their child the next day or very soon after. No matter what the eventual out come may be. Reason why we have too be TOTAL NON JUDGMENTAL in all situations.

Oh good luck op. I have only just come back to this thread. I knew you'd want ds back, you spind so loving x

Another one wishing you luck.

Stay strong.

Bright

Have you been any contact with your ds's father since you initially told him about the situation ? It's just that you said they arranged his visitation within a few hours of being informed of his existence.

If he has had that contact already he could reassure you on how your ds is doing and it could add further weight to your case of being kept apart due to SS incompetence.

I would be asking for the complaints procedure too. This falls way below expected standards of care.

Have been lurking.

If you do not get any resolution by say 4pm, call them and say you will be at their office tomorrow morning (after school run) at 10pm and expect to have contact arranged.

Thank you. Ds dad has not seen ds but was initially told last Wednesday that it would be arranged asap. Now ds case has been moved to a different sw I'm not sure what will happen there though crap initial assessment saw said I would see ds on my own for a few weeks whilst they find out more about his dad and then we would share the visiting times. Not sure I believe anything they say anymore.

• not saw - sw

You are vulnerable right now so it's understandable your head is spinning and you are being kept from your child so I think tears are inevitable

Make your phone calls to solicitors bright. SS really CANNOT behave this way and you need someone else telling them this.The more people the better.

Maybe chase the health visitor to get onto SS again and see if you can get your MP on the case also.

You have been telling SS for at least 5 days that you want to see your child and they have still made no arrangements to facilitate this.

Sorry - I meant sw called ds dad back almost immediately whereas I had to wait over 24 hours for someone to call me back.

I've been following this thread from the beginning but have nothing useful to add to the brilliant advice you have been given by people far more knowledgeable than me.

I just wanted to add my voice of support - you are incredibly strong and I hope you have your little one in your arms again soon.

I wonder if you could go to their office today in person? It's much harder to ignore someone/fob them off if they are stood right in front of you. From what others have said, it sounds like you have every right to ask for your baby back, and they have no right to stall in this way. Can they give you any good reason why you can't have him back today?

Really really hope this gets resolved soon, I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

Just spoken to hv. She said she will also escalate things if I've not heard anything by tomorrow morning.

My head is spinning. I need to tell my dad and my 3 DC.