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Adoption

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Original poster

All a bit complicated

243 replies

zeebrugge · 29/12/2010 18:36

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing now, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little to them?

OP posts:
NappyShedSal · 13/01/2011 18:49

zeebrugge - I am so glad to hear this. I have thought about you lots since you first posted. Take care - I imnagine that this is going to take a very long time to get properly sorted. Good Luck.

Littlefish · 13/01/2011 18:58

I've just read the entire thread and am in awe of your strength, courage and persistence.

I'm sure your mum and dad would have been very proud of you.

I think you need to ask your solicitors to take an extremely careful inventory of everything in the house to make sure that your aunt and uncle don't take anything that belongs to you. The inventory should contain photographs of everything so that you can look at them and confirm the items that belonged to your parents.

I presume they are still moving out?

mascarpone · 13/01/2011 22:20

I too have followed your story since the start, but didn't post as I didn't feel I had anything sensible to add. But I have been thinking of you.

I second Littlefish: I too think your mum and dad would have been very proud of you. And, for what it's worth, I hope that I can behave with your calmness and courage if something of this magnitude happens to me.

And, if there are moments when all this really gets to you, you need to remember that there are a whole bunch of us out there right behind you, willing it all to come out right in the end!

legaleagle2 · 14/01/2011 16:16

I expect your legal representative has already said this to you but I strongly suggest that your Aunt and Uncle should not allowed to remove anything from your house unless and until they can prove it was paid for using their own money rather than yours.

I can see no good reason why your Aunt and Uncle should still be in your house. Assuming of course that both parties have agreed that the house is indeed yours. I gather that is indeed the case.

You will doubtless have been warned that all matters involving a case of this complexity and the police will take time. Lots of it. However you can be quite certain that all those involved will be relishing the task of getting you justice. You have my word on that.

The sums of money involved are likely to be very substantial and you would be well advised to take expert financial advice sooner rather than later.

I and my colleagues wish you well. You have certainly been the subject of much lunchtime conversation.

Eglu · 14/01/2011 16:31

Zrbrugge I have just found your story and it is amazing. How a conversation with a friend has made you think about this and opened up your life and now you are getting what is rightfully yours.

I'm so glad in particular that you have photos and know that your parents loved you. I'm sure that means more to you than any money.

maxybrown · 14/01/2011 20:31

Thanks for the update Zeebrugge - have been thinking of you - you must be having a rollercoaster of emotions right now.

BonzoDooDah · 14/01/2011 22:18

Oh thank you so much for the update. I am sitting here in tears for you. This is so wonderful. How sad and how strange to be seeing everything from twenty years ago.
This is going to be a massive shock to you - you seem to be dealing with it really well. As Legaleagle say it's going to take time to sort out the house and the financial things but you have the most important thing of all - the knowledge that your parents loved you and thought of you and left provision for you. How stunning that must be after all those years of doubt. Wonderful.
Please keep us informed of the little you can as this goes on - we are all rooting for you.

Original poster
zeebrugge · 16/01/2011 15:01

My husband has gone back to work now. He works 2 weeks on then one week off so I will have to manage on my own again. All day Friday I was hoping for a phone call to say when I could visit my house again. But nothing happened which was a pity.

But on Saturday I was told that I can visit the house again on Tuesday once Aunt and Uncle have moved out. They have "signed over" almost everything in the house to me. If it is in the house after 12 on Tuesday it is mine!

I am not allowed to know where they have gone. All I know is that they must report to a police station once a week and they have surrendered their passports. Perhaps the Police think they are going to run away?

OP posts:
smithylovesme · 16/01/2011 15:11

Zeebrugge i have been following the thread but not posting until now. I was shocked and angered for you and what you were led to believe for years. I am so glad that things are being sorted and you are finally getting back what is rightfully yours. I can't imagine how you feel about it all, and can not understand how your aunt and uncle could do this to you. But it sounds like they are finally getting what they deserve as well. i wish you and your husband all the best and hope that you can finally have some peace knowing your mum and dad only wanted the best for you too.

KickButtowski · 16/01/2011 16:03

Great news for you. Hope you can stay calm and strong and that your visit on tuesday goes well. Presumably you will have longer to look around and refamiliarise yourself with everything now that the wicked duo have moved out. Well done. x

risingstar · 17/01/2011 13:03

i guess they are on bail then until a decision is made to charge them. all yours again on Tuesday then- have you got a friend that can go with you?

as i said earlier, how anyone can try to gain something out of a tragedy from an orphan is just beyond imagining. how anybody can justify not following the clearly expressed wishes of their sibling in a will is equally beyond belief.

look after yourself zee.

SenSationsMad · 17/01/2011 16:10

lurker here - good luck and keep strong x

monkeyflippers · 17/01/2011 16:44

Wow you must be is shock over all that has happened!

Louii · 17/01/2011 17:26

Absolutely unbelievably sad story. Have been tears reading.
Well done, may ur aunt and uncle get everything they deserve.

VoldemortsNipple · 17/01/2011 20:31

Ive been following this story since you first posted between Christmas and the New Year.

Have you pinched yourself yet Zee, you still come across as if you don't really believe it.

I can't wait to go into work and tell everybody the next installment. All the girls in work keep asking me how your getting on.

Have you thought of selling your story to Disney Grin Seriously its better than Cinderella.

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Good Luck.

maryz · 18/01/2011 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MackerelOfFact · 18/01/2011 12:35

Wow, you must have been speechless to find that your bedroom looked the same and your bike was still sitting in the shed - how lovely, yet incredibly sad. It's 2.34 on Tuesday so I guess you're in your new-old house by now. I still can't comprehend how this could have happened, but glad it's starting to be put right.

MackerelOfFact · 18/01/2011 12:36

12.34, even!

LouMacca · 18/01/2011 12:45

Wow! Unbelievable. Thanks for the update.

Another lurker here who keeps thinking about your story. I just wanted to wish you all the very best. Good Luck today x

clumsymumluckybaby · 18/01/2011 12:55

GOOD LUCK TODAY. thanks for the update...keep going with this.your parents would be so proud of you.x

nymphadora · 18/01/2011 13:00

Great news. Good luck today.

minipen · 18/01/2011 13:01

Thinking of you today

Al1son · 18/01/2011 13:17

I've been thinking of you today too. I hope you've found the house in a good state. I hope it brings back some happy memories although I guess you'll probably shed a few tears too. I hope there aren't too many of those.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 18/01/2011 13:19

I have only just discovered your story. One of my teachers also died on the Herald of Free Enterprise Sad

Just wanted to wish you luck, I am Shock and Angry at how cruel and calculating your aunt and uncle have been.

Be strong and remember you have your DH and all of MN behind you to support you!

CupcakesHay · 18/01/2011 13:23

What a horrid story and such heart break for you - but i am pleased you've managed to get back what was rightfully yours - and so pleased that you now have so many memories of your parents - who obviously loved you so much. stay strong.