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Original poster

All a bit complicated

243 replies

zeebrugge · 29/12/2010 18:36

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing now, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little to them?

OP posts:
Al1son · 07/01/2011 22:04

I have a feeling we'll hear in the press when she gets a resolution or maybe this thread is really someone testing out a film plot! Wink

Good luck Zeebrugge.

TattyDevine · 08/01/2011 00:43

Good lord. There are no words. I've just had to go in and look at my children and my heart breaks for what you have been through.

I really really want to see the best possible outcome for you.

Original poster
zeebrugge · 08/01/2011 15:57

My Husband is back with me and he was very surprised at all that has happened. He is proud of me which makes me feel happy. I have shown him the photos. He liked that because he had never seen me as a baby. He is very angry about what has happened to me but now likes Mumsnet readers because they helped me so much.

I can only write a little bit of what has happened. I think the police have to do most of the actual investigating now. My solicitor and aunt and uncles solicitor have looked at all the official records and the house is really mine. Not even a bit theirs. So they didn't steal it, just borrowed it as somebody said to us.

They have agreed to or got (not clear which) move out of the house in 28 days. It all seems very complex but I think I could move in then if I want.

I am making a list of all the funny legal words I have heard used. The latest two bits were prima facie evidence and police bail. I even know what the first one means because I asked.

OP posts:
mumofloads · 08/01/2011 16:05

Lol Zeebrugge you are so calm it's brilliant.

How can you say they only borrowed the house. If you hadn't looked into this I doubt you would ever have known it was yours. That's stealing in my book. Don't be being making it easier for them.
Who's on police bail?, your aunt and uncle I hope.

So glad you have your dh home now he must be amazed by all that has happened. Your parents would be so proud of how you are handling this. I know I would be if you were mine. Take care now and let the police deal with it.

Who do you fancy playing you in the film then Grin

Original poster
zeebrugge · 08/01/2011 16:15

Somebody big and strong who could punch my aunt in the final scene. The Lara Croft lady?

OP posts:
Al1son · 08/01/2011 16:29

Living rent-free in your house without your permission for years on end sounds like stealing to me. Imagine how much you'd have if it had been rented out.

I'm glad the police are sorting it for you and that in 28 days you'll have your house back. I hope you get some decent compensation too.

Have you had any calls from Max Clifford? Grin

nymphadora · 08/01/2011 16:35

Think of all the money you paid for housing when you owned a house all the time

blueshoes · 08/01/2011 16:56

Zee, glad you still have your sense of humour.

How your aunt and uncle (and their solicitor?) thought they could have got away with it forever just boggles my mind. I wonder whether they have been waiting for this day like sitting ducks ...

legaleagle2 · 08/01/2011 18:15

This is what my dear daughter would good "big league stuff".

The police have massive resources and many staff with lots of experience at getting to the bottom of even the most complicated crimes. I don't think her own solicitor will have too much to do at present.

I would not imagine that any thread on Mumsnet will influence any investigation and it might prove a learning experience for us all. I for one have checked and double checked my will.

LadyBubbaAndBump · 08/01/2011 19:36

You'll surely be able to get compensation from them too for the reason nymphadora mentioned.

So impressed with you and your calmness throughout this!

minipen · 08/01/2011 23:10

Glad your husband is home with you, how lovely he can share on your photos & memories too.

Not so sure on the borrowing aspect, usually people ask to borrow and not for so many years!

Smile for your husband liking MN too!

Xenia · 09/01/2011 09:06

Presumably part of your claim is the rent they ought to have paid over 20 years less what they spent if they used their own funds, keeping the place kept up. So get your lawyer to check if they have any money. Criminal prosecution might get you moral satisfiaction but it doesn't get you money out of them of any funds which were left to you plus interest nor the rent I mention. I wonder if they have savings. If they have nothing there is no point legally pursuing them for the rent/any cash that should have come to you etc except you will get the house.

Try to go round it soon with a camera in case any furniture etc is your parents and not your aunt's so they ensure they leave that rather than stripping it bear before leaving.

maryz · 09/01/2011 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Al1son · 09/01/2011 18:16

There's not much you can do to stop that sort of thing and a confrontation wouldn't help anyone.

Any damage would just refelct badly on them in the court case.

I think I'd just keep my head down until it is handed over.

I guess it's going to be quite hard to go back to where all those memories were formed.

Kosmik · 09/01/2011 23:06

Zeebrugge - I have just read through this whole thread appalled at what happened to you at such a young age. I remember that terrible tragedy - I am about the same age as you. My husband and I are going to sort out a will to ensure that our kids will be properly provided for should anything happen to us. Thank you for sharing your story.

sb6699 · 10/01/2011 23:45

Just found this thread and am Shock Angry and Sad all at once!

I really hope you take your Aunt and Uncle to the cleaners and get everything you are entitled to.

They betrayed both you and your parents and deserve everything that's coming to them.

rodformyownback · 11/01/2011 00:01

Hi Zeebrugge, I've been following your thread since you first posted and posted a couple of times. Just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking of you. I'm so pleased for you that you have your husband home to support you Smile

chinam · 13/01/2011 11:17

Just found this thread now and am.. actually I don't quite know what I am feeling and this hasn't even happened to me. As others have said you are showing amazing strength and courage. I wish you every success with this. Your poor parents would be devastated to know what has been done to you by those they trusted to look after you. It's a timely warning to all parents to ensure that they have really got the right guardians in place in case the unthinkable happens.

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 13/01/2011 11:29

I am so amazed by this.

How conniving of your aunt and uncle, just absolutely awful. Please don't be lenient on them, remember they have stolen a lot of money from you ( paying themselves to live in your house FFS?) they have also stolen your happy memories and the last bit of your childhood. It sounds to me that they knew exactly what they were doing, and thought they would get away with it forever.

Make sure you do keep a diary of all these events, this thread will help you. Because when you do write your book it is going to be amazing. I'll buy it. You write well, too. Be careful of tabloid journalists though, they do look through here for good stories. Be aware of anything that might prejudice your case.

I'm so sorry you felt for years that your parents hadn't cared for you. That must have really hurt. I'm so glad this has a happier ending.

Please send those awful relatives to prison for what they did. Angry

marriednotdead · 13/01/2011 12:36

I have only just found this thread and have cried for you whilst reading it all Sad

My DD was born just before your parents died, and to think of you wondering if they cared all the years of her life makes my blood boil.

No amount of money or houses can wipe out the years of fraud and wrongdoing these hideous people have done. However, justice will finally be served, and you can remember your parents with a smile, especially now you have your precious photos and tape!

They knew they were lucky to have you; I bet they would be so proud of you now.

WorzselMummage · 13/01/2011 12:42

How are things going Zeebrugge ?

TheRunawayWife · 13/01/2011 12:47

Hope you get this sorted soon x

mumofloads · 13/01/2011 13:04

Hi zeebrugge Been thinking about you today. I told my dh what was happening with you and even he asks "hows the mumsnet lady getting on". Grin

Hope everythings going ok.

crystalglasses · 13/01/2011 13:25

Hi Zeebrugge
We're all rooting for you in our house. You've been seriously wronged so don't weaken and let the uncle and aunt get away with anything. Remember that you dm and df would have been appalled at how badly they have behaved.

Original poster
zeebrugge · 13/01/2011 18:10

I was able to visit my house today for the first time since just after my Mum and Dad died in 1987. It felt very strange, I was sad and happy at the same time. My husband had never even seen the house before.

The two lots of solicitors and the police all agreed that It was OK for us to go today. Aunt and Uncle had to go out for the morning so I don?t meet them. There were some things I remembered. My old bedroom looks the same and still had the same wall paper. Some of the furniture like the dining room table and sideboard were Mum and Dads so I supposed they are mine now. My old bike was in the garden shed, very rusty now. The next door neighbours are the same but they just waved at me because they might be witnesses and so I cannot speak to them about what has happened.

The two lots of solicitors just sat on the sofa and stared at each other while I wondered round so I could not stay too long.

Since I last wrote I have had to make a very, very long statement to the police which took nearly three hours including a short tea break. I think this is only about the third time I can remember ever going to a police station. It was a bit like being in ?The Bill?.

Aunt and Uncle are busy ?liquefying assets? (another new phrase I have learned) because they are going to give me a big cheque as an ?interim payment? (second new phrase I have learned) in partial mitigation (third new phrase I have learned). I don?t know how much this might be.

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