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Original poster

All a bit complicated

243 replies

zeebrugge · 29/12/2010 18:36

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing now, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little to them?

OP posts:
Original poster
zeebrugge · 04/01/2011 09:36

The solicitor just phoned me to confirm the appointment. When he heard that my trip would be 2 buses and a longish walk he said he would drive over to see me. He is coming at 11 and I am feeling a bit scared and weepy. I will try to post later.

I read all the things you have posted and thank you for trying to help me.

OP posts:
paarrp · 04/01/2011 09:44

Good luck for today - it certainly sounds a complicated situation - but as others say - as legally adopted child you should have been entitled to the same treatment as any birth child.

Have you got support from your dh/partner/friends?

legaleagle2 · 04/01/2011 09:52

I am back in the office with the first client due at 1015hrs so must be brief.

OP if at all possible have somebody else with you to help take notes and remember what is said. If the solicitor says something you do not understand ask him to explain.

I am sure that everybody here wishes you well.

nymphadora · 04/01/2011 10:06

Good luck for this morning.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 04/01/2011 10:49

Good luck and I hope you get to the bottom of this.

I have two adopted neices and would hate for them to be treated like this.

In the eyes of the law and in the eyes of the whole family they are regarded in the same way as if they were biological DCs of BIL and SIL. You had the right to be treated in that way.

Hope you get justice after all you have been through.

maryz · 04/01/2011 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RantyMcRantpants · 04/01/2011 11:02

I am guessing that the meeting will start any minute now. Hope it all goes well, will be thinking of you.

Original poster
zeebrugge · 04/01/2011 13:45

I had misunderstood what was to happen. I was picked from my home in car (a young lad), driven to the solicitors office and taken back at the end.

I have tried to use his exact words solicitor used.

My Mum and Dads wills were looked at every two years - the last time in December 1986. Three months before they drowned. He said while of course it is possible that your father instructed another firm to create a subsequent will I think this is unlikely

If one parent died Nil rate band of Inheritance Tax was to go to you. The remainder to surviving partner. As both died together you should have got everything

There was no mortgage on the house ? paid off a couple of years earlier.

Your Aunt and Uncle were to act as your guardian ?to reflect this great kindness? £10000 from estate. They were executor and trustees

He said The paperwork was carried out by a former colleague but because of the circumstances and because I knew your father I did exercise some strategic oversight over the affair. As you can see the file was annotated at the time that the total tax liability seems much smaller than I would have expected. I have been unable to trace any additional material. This surprises me because I would have expected to find material relating to the granting of probate.

He asked me to wait outside while he phoned aunt and uncle. I was given a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. He is going to see them tomorrow to get some photos of my Mum and Dad and make some gentle enquiries about other matters.. Under the circumstances his work would be pro bone?.

I really do think he is on my side.

OP posts:
nymphadora · 04/01/2011 14:18

Interesting...

Really am rooting for you on this.

Only thing I can suggest is to approach social services and request your file from them. This will show if you were in Offical foster care or arranged by Aunt. Second one doesn't sound official. Do you remember visits from SW? Did you see Aunt & Uncle whilst in care?

OmicronPersei8 · 04/01/2011 14:22

I am just so shocked by your story. Shock It sounds like you might get to the bottom of it now.

PaisleyLeaf · 04/01/2011 14:25

Gosh. Good on you for chasing it all up. It's great you're getting such good advice here.

(How do that aunt and uncle sleep at night?)

HaveToWearHeels · 04/01/2011 15:25

OMG zeebrugge my heart goes out to you. You have spent the last 24 years thinking you adoptive parents cared very liitle for you and today you have found to the contrary (sp??). I don't know how you Aunt and Uncle could do this to you, not only breaking the law but effectively leaving you destitute.

I really hope they right they have done, I know this will not bring your parents back, but will make things more settled in your mind.

Please keep us updated as I am appauled and want to know they do right by you Angry

Jux · 04/01/2011 15:46

OMG, I do hope this gets sorted out. I hope Aunt and Uncle get what they deserve (and it's very painful!).

PheasantPlucker · 04/01/2011 16:28

Zeebrugge I hope you get some answers.

I have a birth child and an adopted child, and I would always treat them and love them both equally. I am so sad that it seems you have had years thinking your adoptive parents had not provided for you, when it seems they certainly did, and that some odd things were at work at the time of their unexpected deaths.

Sending very best wishes to you x

maryz · 04/01/2011 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emjxxx · 04/01/2011 16:48

I don't normally float around in this part of MN but for some reason although your title is not "Grab me wow" I felt the urge to read your post.

I honestly don't know what to say but you are totally doing the right thing and I hope you get to the bottom of this, please please keep us updated. I wish you all the luck in the world and I'm sorry, but what a nasty couple of people to call themselves your aunt and uncle and then do this, disgraceful, I hope they get all that they deserve.

Good luck and all the best :)

HaveToWearHeels · 04/01/2011 16:57

This post makes me worry about all the provision we have made in our wills for DD, god forbid she is left without parents. Is it that easy to fiddle ? Just wonders what would happen when zeebrugge so called aunt and uncle pass, I suppose by then then have "gotten away with it". Very evil.

zeebrugge you have all our support.

bran · 04/01/2011 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fuchzia · 04/01/2011 17:13

I feel very sad for you and that your parents wishes may not have been carried out. Makes me realise I must make provision for my DS. Should the worst happen. Lovely as my family are I think I will appoint different people to be the guardian and the trustee of any estate. Really hope you can sort this out soon.

paarrp · 04/01/2011 17:38

Zeebrugge - Can I suggest that you also post on the legal matters section - you'll get lots more good legal support there too.

mumofloads · 04/01/2011 18:00

It's already in legal paarrp.

zeebrugge I've been thinking about you all day. Came on here first oppertunity I got to see if you had posted. I'm so pleased the solicitor seems to be on your side. I do think you should also approach SS for your file. I would be very surprised if the second family you stayed with were real FCs. I hope not anyway they sound awful.

Please keep us posted, this is a terrible thing that has happened to you and you deserve a positive outcome.

minipen · 04/01/2011 18:08

I do hope this gets sorted for you, I especially hope you have more photos.

Is pro bono meaning he will not charge for his legal services? hopefully legaleagle2 will come along soon

NellieForbush · 04/01/2011 18:13

Am I understanding correctly. The OP lost both her parents, the executors of the will moved her into foster care and moved into her (newly inherited home)? OMG Shock. What kind of people would do that?

OP I hope you get to the bottom of all this and put right this injustice.

Xenia · 04/01/2011 18:18

Yes, 1 - go after Zeebrugge disaster sums.

  1. if there was no will you inherit - look up the intestacy laws. Let us assume they were British and lived her.
  2. If there was a will and you were excluded then you had a claim under act - provision for family and dependents act as you cannot exclude from your will a dependent. Your lawyer will find out what the time limits are. In some bits of law you have time tlimits to bring claims so you might want to do this fairly quickly in case time is running out.
  3. Today see if you can order the title deeds for that property. they don't cost much. They will show who bought it and when. It might just have been rented. Your parents may have had no money at all but it's worth finding out.
MissyPie · 04/01/2011 18:20

Wow - what a story Zeebrugge and I must firstly apologise for your loss, the uncertainty surrounding this must be a great weight on your shoulders

I really cannot offer any advice other than that of the other posters however I do wish you well in your search of the truth.

I hope you will update us with your findings..Good Luck :)