random adoption chat

[Kewcumber]

Didn;t want to start a new topic just for this but thought a mindless drivel thread might come in useful for snippets without satrting new threads...

DS is five tomorrow can you beleive it? and I haven't broken him yet . I think its his best birthday yet - isn't 5 a lovely age for Xmas and birthday. Have also managed to be too maudling and not wept into my coffee yet (maybe tomorrow).

sorry kew,quite a few dilemas for you.i think hes still at an age he can take the truth,not the brutal truth,but something of the ilk.

hi sullyo, your social worker should inform you of any allowance. we got about 100/week for dd2 until she was formally adopted, took 4 months to come thru tho.you will also get child benifit. there is such a thing as an adoption allowance for certain children but dont know all the details.
its from thre day they move in.you might also get a settling in grant, we got 1000/dd but they were both babies.

We didn't get any financial benefits at all. Some local authorities pay a placement grant (ours doesn't) and some will give financial support for particular children with high care needs. You should ask your agency what is available - I'm surprised they haven't told you already.

But CONGRATULATIONS on having your new children! Are you exhausted, exhilarated, terrified?

Our dd has been with us for six months, and I went back to work today. A bit , but at least I got to do some exciting things like, you know, go to the loo on my own, drink a coffee in peace, go for several hours without having to wipe a snotty nose...

Thanks Bran I am (very uncharacteristically) in need of one. I have kind of come to th econclusion that the "met with an accident" one is best for me as well as him as the cat disappearing and it not really seemng to be a concern niggls at me a bit and I would like him to know that I am sad about it (because I am, very). The cat (and her brother) were a consolation failure of last IVF/desperate need to nurture present which for some reason seems to add to the poignancy of her dying. I have a stonrg feeling that he will not be devastated as he really wasn't close to her but may become very unsettled by the diea of her never coming back.

Kew, I have been an adoption lurker nosy parker since your amazing Kaz blog. I'm not qualified to post on your threads but I love the wisdom and wit behind your posts and have learnt loads about adoption and the issues that can surround it from you all. So just wanted to say thanks to you really and wish you well now that things sounds a bit shit tough at the moment.

I was thinking that perhaps you could look on the fact that as ds wasn't too attached to the cat it's a better scenario to introduce the terrifying idea of death in a less painful way (for him) than if he was devoted to it. Could the Mog book help (if you can read it without bawling)?

Yes I am feeling more positive today. Doubt very much I will get past page one of Goodbye Mog - and in fact too much of a coward to consider reading it to DS. I sob my way through "how much do I love you" and "the big big sea" and DS's response? "thats a boring book"

Slambang, thank you, your kind words did make me feel better so that was a one nice thing you did today

(not that there weren't others IYSWIM)

OK so I'm sharing this with you lot because you will be patient with me and not scoff too much

DS is getting the class golden certificate this week and he's just so proud of himself I thought he would burst . Of course the downside is that we get to take Geoffry the class giraffe and his backpack home for the weekend and the bar was set rather high for his diary by my neighbour who printed out a colour power point presentation of his activities

And yes I know that statistically every child will get their chnce but still... he is marvellous isn't he? I always said he was and now I have proof

Ah Kew, you now have PROOF that he is officially the fabulousest kid ever. Way to go, Kewkid!

Be warned: we got Hoot the class owl home quite early last term, and a book to write up his activities. We went a bit, ahem, wild and filled SIX pages with text and photos.

Teacher has made a big point of telling everyone else that a side or two is MORE than sufficient, and the other mums haven't let me live it down

Hey all :)

Thought I'd bump this up a bit, I enjoyed this thread

I feel about ready to say now that, sadly, the fertility treatment didn't work. To be honest, I knew before I tested. I have thought hard, and I know this is it now. I'm not trying any more, I certainly can't go the adoption route again. Maybe one day when DS is older, I can think about fostering if I still really want children around. But I'm starting to think about grandchildren in the next couple of years... DD1 and husband did hint a few months ago that they were starting to put aside money for future family members...

We are all getting along quite nicely at the moment basically. I think poor DD2 might be getting another UTI, after only getting rid of the last one before Christmas. But she's basically happy, in a better mood today than all week actually, very loving and cuddley! DS is good...he got Star of The Week last week at school! Got to stand up in assembly at the front and everything!

DD1 is still quite happily in reunion with her little sib...she is so happy to finally know all 6 of them instead of just 5. They speak slightly less now the initial phase of spend as much time together as possible is over, but they still get along very well. Sibs parents still don't know

One thing I am slightly annoyed about is that my bloomin BIL has turned DS into a West Ham fan! I'm not hugely into football, but I certainly don't support them, and now he's asking about going to see them! Um, no.... and no mini Tshirts either (at what price exactly??)!! No offence West Ham fans

How are all you lot getting on?

sympathies Lilka - I've been down theIVF route and I know how hard it can be to let go. I also very reluctantly made the decision that anotehr adoption really wasn't on teh cards so DS will be an only child and its absolutely not what I planned so I was sad about that.

It is possible (as you are doing) to be grateful for what you have at the smae time - DS is fantastic and I am so lucky to have him. I hope that when he becomes less fantastic (as must surely happen!) I will be able to deal with it the way you have Maryz.

My sister wwent a bit off the raisl as a teen (though not into drugs which I think does probably maake a big difference) and she did really get better in her 20's and settled down and has a good relationship with my mum which had previously been dreadful.

On another subject - would anyone like to chip in to a fund I am setting up to take out a contract on prolific posters who annoy me? Obviously I don't have anyone specific in mind... just wondering if it were necessary if we could scrape some money together between us...

Just been through my pockets and can contribute to KewC's collection - a rubber band, last week's losing lottery ticket, various bits of stones (2 x DS = random stones with shiny bits in them), clean tissues, half a packet of polo's - any good???

I do feel very, very affronted that my taxes are going to fund a public servant who spends his time like this. I understand his great leader is not interested in doing anything, though surely within his own party he's considered a great embarrassment. Is there nothing we could do that would be effective but not bullying or undignified?

I have a bit extra this month. Will happily throw into the hat!

Lilka, I'm so sorry. I've never done IVF, but I have had many years of fertility heartache and I know this must be very tough, however clear and resolved you are about the way forward. Us hardbitten adoption biddies don't do hugs, but if we did...

Hey Hester - I am new to all this, who is he? Where do I look to find out if you can't mention publicly on here?

Thank you for your kind words :)

Maryz - you put everything into perpective with 'Man United'

And yes, I will contribute as well to your fund Kew - although the only things I am afraid that were in the depths of my large pocket were a few coppers, my keys and a rogue tampon!! Might have to find the money jar for you...

I spent today largely lazing around...bought some new plants for the pots on impulse, but I hate gardening so will be putting off planting them...

And tomorrow will be spent packing for a short break away! Couldn't face a car journey down South so going North a bit instaead