Too scared to go for a smear test

[nervybs]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really.

I’m 26 and haven’t yet been for my first smear test. I’ve had some reminders and I’ve also been told I have to go into the GP for a medication review that they usually do over the phone, I am assuming this is so they can try and encourage me to go face to face.

I am absolutely terrified.

I was brought up by a mother who shamed my body and shamed anything to do with “privates” whilst also flouncing around naked herself. As such, I have a really difficult relationship with my body. The idea of a stranger seeing my intimate parts makes me want to die, which I know sounds so dramatic but it genuinely gives me palpitations and a nervous shake to think of.

In addition, I also have a very very low pain tolerance. I’m talking, pulled muscle in my neck brings tears to my eyes, level. So I am terrified that it will hurt. I know that they don’t provide any kind of painkillers or numbing for it and that terrifies me. I’m scared that it will hurt and i’ll be told I’m being stupid and they won’t stop.

I’ve seen so many horror stories online of women saying how awful and painful it is, and then it makes me doubt the ones saying it’s fine as them trying to minimise it!

I KNOW that having cancer is far far worse than the smear but I just really can’t get past these points and do it.

i was really hoping that the roll out of the home tests might mean I could do that but I’ve since read that they’re only for 30+ so would be ages before I qualify.

I’m just looking for some reassurance, someone to walk me through it maybe or explain how bad it truly is. I’d almost prefer to go in knowing “it’s going to really hurt” than be lied to and say it’s fine.

For a bit of additional context, my grandmother had a hysterectomy at the same time as having my mum due to complications, so never had a smear. So there isn’t anyone I can ask for personal experience other than my mother herself which I will not be doing

I'm so sorry that you feel this way and that your upbringing has made you feel like this :(

I have heard that some women find them painful and/or uncomfortable but I've never experienced that. I have had a daughter so I'm totally unashamed with anything like this so I understand I may be more flippant about it than others. And I've never felt pain whilst having one done. It takes a couple of minutes at the very most and I never worry about having them, I promise!

I've had them ever since I was of the age to have them done, I'm now 36 and my recent smear detected the HPV virus and pre cancerous cells, so I had a colposcopy and then LLETZ treatment, that was uncomfortable but I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant preventing cervical cancer.

Perhaps you can speak to your doctors surgery about how you're feeling, maybe they can allow a longer appointment where someone can take the time and care to explain it to you and take their time with you based on how you're feeling. I think once you've had one or two you'll feel so much better about it as you'll know what to expect.

I wish I could be there to hold your hand! Though that does sound weird now I've written it down

The best thing to do is book it and then tell all this to the nurse. If you aren’t happy with her attitude, if she seems dismissive or impatient, cancel and rebook with another nurse. Ask if they can use a small speculum.
I’m disabled and for me it does hurt, but it’s much better when they use a small speculum. It’s very short lived.