Too scared to go for a smear test

[nervybs]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really.

I’m 26 and haven’t yet been for my first smear test. I’ve had some reminders and I’ve also been told I have to go into the GP for a medication review that they usually do over the phone, I am assuming this is so they can try and encourage me to go face to face.

I am absolutely terrified.

I was brought up by a mother who shamed my body and shamed anything to do with “privates” whilst also flouncing around naked herself. As such, I have a really difficult relationship with my body. The idea of a stranger seeing my intimate parts makes me want to die, which I know sounds so dramatic but it genuinely gives me palpitations and a nervous shake to think of.

In addition, I also have a very very low pain tolerance. I’m talking, pulled muscle in my neck brings tears to my eyes, level. So I am terrified that it will hurt. I know that they don’t provide any kind of painkillers or numbing for it and that terrifies me. I’m scared that it will hurt and i’ll be told I’m being stupid and they won’t stop.

I’ve seen so many horror stories online of women saying how awful and painful it is, and then it makes me doubt the ones saying it’s fine as them trying to minimise it!

I KNOW that having cancer is far far worse than the smear but I just really can’t get past these points and do it.

i was really hoping that the roll out of the home tests might mean I could do that but I’ve since read that they’re only for 30+ so would be ages before I qualify.

I’m just looking for some reassurance, someone to walk me through it maybe or explain how bad it truly is. I’d almost prefer to go in knowing “it’s going to really hurt” than be lied to and say it’s fine.

For a bit of additional context, my grandmother had a hysterectomy at the same time as having my mum due to complications, so never had a smear. So there isn’t anyone I can ask for personal experience other than my mother herself which I will not be doing

Don’t bother it’s the worst thing you’ll experience and it’s embarassing and unnecessary anyway.

I worry about smears too. They are a bit uncomfortable and make me worry. But I’ve just had some bleeding and had to have two internal examinations by the doc in to weeks, she put a sheet across my hips and was so gentle I was so impressed and barely felt it! And an ultrasound at hospital was fine too! Maybe they have someone at the surgery like this who is sympathetic to you. Please do ask.

Ive had my fair share of smear tests and procedures. At most it’s just briefly uncomfortable. Tell the nurse how you are feeling, it’s not uncommon to be nervous and hopefully they can put your mind at ease. You can also ask for the small speculum if you’re worried about pain - they do have different size ones.

It could also help to reframe it in your mind. This is a medical procedure - nothing dirty or shameful. Remember this is standard procedure for nurses who perform many smears each day. You might feel uneasy with it but it’s just another day at work to them.

This is a really good and accurate description.

@nervybs I agree with all pp, tell your doc your nervous and its your 1st one.
And take you take your grandmother up on her offer , she sounds fantastic and I am sure a glass of wine and something nice to eat and a catch up with your GM after it's over will be much more memorable than the procedure it's self.

Oh honey, I hate them as my first one was bad. I definitely recommend a glass of wine first and let them know you're nervous. I find wearing a long skirt so I don't have to totally strip and see it happening helps me. They're always kind.

It’s a little embarrassing, a little uncomfortable but you will be so proud of yourself for going.

I put mine off for 5 years out of embarrassment but a couple of episodes of bleeding after sex made me bite the bullet and go. It was over and done with in 15 mins, the nurse saw an abrasion on my cervix (it had a name but I can’t remember it) that accounted for the bleeding and all was well with my HPV results.

Previous smears were painful, I have (had?) a tilted cervix before I had my children, if they ask you to put your fists under your hips, that’s normal, it helps them get to your cervix easier, but this time round it was easy and done in no time and I left wondering why I’d been so scared.

Only you can decide, ultimately you're an adult and your health care is your choice.

(Just to add personally I don't find it painful or uncomfortable, just more of a someone poking where they shouldn't be feeling).

I have a cervix that seems to try to make a run for my tonsils given half a chance. But the nurses are always great. You'll be fine.

So I think what people are probably saying is that, given that they only look at the cells they sample if they test positive for HPV, you could just do a self test for HPV and then only go for the smear if it comes back positive.

Personally (and this certainly isn't optimal) I'm waiting for them to send me an HPV test on the NHS for being overdue. It's being rolled out nationally but isn't in place yet.

I’m 51 so I’ve had a few, including a loop diatherm procedure to remove some dodgy bits. I’ve never found them painful albeit it is a bit of a vulnerable feeling! But it’s over so quickly and they can use a small speculum if you’re small of vag/nervous etc. also don’t forget they use a brush to get the cell sample not a blade or anything dangerous-sounding.
I totally understand the feeling of shame around your body. I grew up in Ireland in the 1980s so shame is my middle name 😁.
Hope you manage to get the courage to do it, it’s really only a minute of your life.

Yes, i was told I'd get one of these, where is it!

Please do have it done. I was also nervous the first time I went and afterwards I realised I shouldn't have been so worried. I honestly felt no pain or discomfort, just embarrassment. Remember they see many people for smears and it is all in a days work for them.

It might help if you Google "Jade Goody Effect" and read about Jade Goody. Jade's story in 2009 led to a surge in smear tests. If I remember correctly there were an extra 500,000 tests that year across the UK. It's said that Jade being so public about her diagnosis saved the lives of many women. For me it made me think that a few minutes of me feeling embarrassed and nervous was definitely worth it. Good luck and I hope you decide to go and have it done.

I came on here to tell you ffs, sort your shit out... but you obviously have some trauma impacting you doing it.

Honestly, they are not my favourite thing. But they don't hurt. They are uncomfortable, but not painful.

Talking to your GP is a good idea. They can probably help with some sort of adjustment. Good luck!

Just do a self test at home, you can buy them online, unless you test positive for HPV your sample won’t be tested for anything else. The home tests are easy to do and you get your results back quickly.

I had cervical cancer diagnosed at an early stage because of a smear. I'd had no symptoms prior to the diagnosis and my smear wasn't overdue. Because I kept up with my smear and caught it at an early stage it was dealt with easily and I went on to have children. It could all have been a very different story if I hadn't gone for that smear 💕

Just remember: it only takes a couple of minutes, and the nurse doing it sees hundreds of ‘em in all shapes and sizes.

Take a couple of paracetamol before hand (though, mine have never been painful) and treat yourself to a hot chocolate or a cake afterwards.

I have to check my school mum friend won’t be on duty when I book mine - now that really would feel weird!

I definitely agree tell them it's your first and that you're feeling nervous, they'll take extra care of you. It was a smear test at your age that detected precancerous cells. Likely that my wonderful DS, tucked up in bed in the next room, wouldn't exist if I hadn't gone. You'll feel so proud of yourself once you've done it, and it really will be so much better than you're expecting. Come back onto this thread with an update afterwards and we'll all be cheering you on!

It’s a little uncomfortable but honestly doesn’t hurt. I’d rather have 20 smears than sit in a dentist chair! As for the embarrassment factor just remember the nurse doing it has to have it done too we are ALL the same have the same anatomy

I'm another who rather have a smear than go to the dentist or optician (bit I do those things, too.)

Although the main test is for HPV, they also do a visual check - they found a polyp at a regular smear test, no symptoms. And earlier this week, I had a colposcopy and LLETZ procedure because of my last smear, and that wasn't much worse than a smear.

As I recently said to a friend who has just been treated for breast cancer - this is why we go for smears and mammograms.

The description of what happens in post above is very good. Please tell them you're nervous and they will help you through.

OP you can apply online for the HPV vaginal self-swab option if you’ve never had a smear. It’s a new NHS initiative. Just google it. Other countries have introduced it for everyone now so I expect it will be the default test at some point soon.

You can stop the procedure at any time you want if it's too painful. Warm them beforehand that you might do that. Leave immediately if their attitude makes you uncomfortable. It will be easier knowing you are in charge, which you are.
Wearing a full skirt will mean you can just slip your pants off and feel less exposed.

It does hurt for some women. Please don't downplay that. Everyone is different.

A home HPV test kit would be a good idea to do first, OP.

OP my GP prescribed me a Valium once to get me through it - worked like a charm. If yours won’t then a large glass of wine right before would work! Relaxes brain and muscles.

The first time I had one the Dr said I had a small vagina when trying to get the swab in 😂😂😂 I'm glad I went through I got diagnosed with cervical cancer and needed surgery

I skipped mine for years and years. I had uterine cancer and cells in my lymph nodes and believe me the follow up for that is a few years of regular 3 monthly checks with speculum. I didn't enjoy my hysterectomy either.

Don't be me.