Too scared to go for a smear test

[nervybs]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really.

I’m 26 and haven’t yet been for my first smear test. I’ve had some reminders and I’ve also been told I have to go into the GP for a medication review that they usually do over the phone, I am assuming this is so they can try and encourage me to go face to face.

I am absolutely terrified.

I was brought up by a mother who shamed my body and shamed anything to do with “privates” whilst also flouncing around naked herself. As such, I have a really difficult relationship with my body. The idea of a stranger seeing my intimate parts makes me want to die, which I know sounds so dramatic but it genuinely gives me palpitations and a nervous shake to think of.

In addition, I also have a very very low pain tolerance. I’m talking, pulled muscle in my neck brings tears to my eyes, level. So I am terrified that it will hurt. I know that they don’t provide any kind of painkillers or numbing for it and that terrifies me. I’m scared that it will hurt and i’ll be told I’m being stupid and they won’t stop.

I’ve seen so many horror stories online of women saying how awful and painful it is, and then it makes me doubt the ones saying it’s fine as them trying to minimise it!

I KNOW that having cancer is far far worse than the smear but I just really can’t get past these points and do it.

i was really hoping that the roll out of the home tests might mean I could do that but I’ve since read that they’re only for 30+ so would be ages before I qualify.

I’m just looking for some reassurance, someone to walk me through it maybe or explain how bad it truly is. I’d almost prefer to go in knowing “it’s going to really hurt” than be lied to and say it’s fine.

For a bit of additional context, my grandmother had a hysterectomy at the same time as having my mum due to complications, so never had a smear. So there isn’t anyone I can ask for personal experience other than my mother herself which I will not be doing

Thanks all for the lovely comments and reassurances. I think that I will discuss with my GP when in for my medication review and then book in for a longer appointment. I’ll be upfront with the nurse about my worries and say that if it’s too much then I want to stop. If it’s really awful then i’ll stop it and know I’ve tried my best.

I think feeling like I have the control to stop it will really help. I once asked a dentist to explain a scale and polish as I was very nervous and had never had one, she told me to ‘shut up and stop being a silly girl’ and I walked out and haven’t been back since! I remember being so proud of myself for standing up and leaving, despite being shouted at to get back in there!

I had one this week, I’m 44 so not my first rodeo. I always get nervous about it but honestly it was over and done in minutes and the nurse I saw was very gentle and kind. Could you speak to the nurse beforehand about how nervous you are and see if that would help?

If your practice nurse is experienced go and chat to her. The nurse where I worked did a study where she offered patients the chance to insert their own speculum and it was really successful. I good practice nurse will give you the time and patience to help you relax. I never had any problems with smears until I hit the menopause when they became slightly uncomfortable but vagifem sorted that.

Practice Nurse here 🙋‍♀️ You can most definitely explain to reception that it’s your first one and ask for a double appointment. From my perspective, please don’t be embarrassed about stripping off to us, I do dozens of smears per week and honestly, I think nothing of how people look. It can be a little uncomfortable if you’re tense, but I always tell my ladies to get into a comfortable position and always tell them to let me know if they want me to stop. Most nurses these days will go with the patient/how they’re coping and not charge on regardless. I urge you to speak to your practice and try it. If you don’t cope, its not the end of
the world, you can try again another day. Some of my ladies take paracetamol before they come and bring headphones so they listen to their music. But it’s usually done
and dusted within a minute or two. Good luck, be brave 💕

It quite literally saved my life when I was 25…..stage 3, extremely close call. You must make the appointment and go please. It takes literally seconds and so very important.

I mean you can wait but they are available over the counter - huge range for under £20

Please go. I would advise you to have the early morning appointment to get it out of the way. My pain threshold is extremely low, but i was ok. If u r worried, why not take some paracetamol beforehand. I would be treating myself to a little treat afterwards.

I'm not sexually active, and last time I tried having a smear it was very painful for me. So I just do a urine test for HPV and nothing else. I ignore the reminders for smear tests.

In England I don't think you can just order via the app. Pretty sure you have to wait to receive an invitation before you can book an at home test.

Please don’t be scared.
wear a skirt then you only have to remove your knickers, the nurse doing it will have done it 100 times before - it feels a bit like a tampon being inserted but metal - when they take the specimen it’s like they are just wiping around - the nurse will talk to you all the time and you can keep your mind busy.
within a few minutes it’s done and you will feel such a relief.
And whilst I’m not a doctor (I do have first aid certificate) I will give you a prescription to award your bravery with any treat you feel you deserve !! Xx you will be ok, please come back and tell us how it went so the next scared lady can feel reassured.

Ask for the most experienced nurse they have, and trust their judgement.

Note to say I'm quite tall (5ft 8) and when I went for my first one and was nervous the nurse (who was exceptional) said she'd usually use the smallest speculum but because I'm so tall she wanted to use the next size up. It wasn't much different diameter wise but it was longer and that likely would be more comfortable finding my cervix because I was taller hence longer vagina. I honestly felt zero pain. Was really quick.

Second time it was a less experienced nurse who tried to use the smallest. Was no different going in but she then couldnt find my cervix easily and spent bloody ages routing around for it. Not painful but took so much longer and more uncomfortable than the first time. I always ask them to use the bigger one now and always been quick and painless.

I had my first smear at 25. It saved my life.

It’s a few minutes of discomfort, no pain involved. The nurses are usually pretty kind and considerate, please mention your fear and worries.

Honestly they are not painful, they are uncomfortable. I'm assuming you are not a virgin so something has, at some point, entered your vagina. If you are a virgin you need to tell your GP. It's almost certainly going to be a nurse who performs the examination and they are all very experienced and understanding, you could always ask for someone (another nurse for example) to be with you and literally hold your hand. I appreciate you are very anxious but please believe us all when we say it's not as horrendous as you're worrying it will be.

Suggest a dress, socks and no tights. So it’s quick to remove underwear. That can stress me, getting in a tangle with clothes! Deep breaths out and in. Focus on that. Tell them you’re nervous and, hopefully, they will be understanding. It will be over within a couple of minutes. Then, hopefully, a clean bill of health and a sigh of relief! All the best for it;

I had normal Pap smears for years until the latest one where I did an at-home kit. I am in the US and it is being rolled out extensively here. I know it is the norm in Australia and many European countries. It was absolutely revolutionary, just like putting in a tampon really. I think this is a far better system as there will be far more compliance. I know so many proper who avoid smears and this will stop that . I would go ahead and buy one. They are quite expensive in the UK but I think so worth it.

This sounds like a good plan (booking a longer appointment and being upfront with them about your nerves. And making the plan beforehand that you can leave without completing if you need to).

I also find them really mentally difficult (I don't know where the feeling of shame comes from as logically I know it is nonsensical!). It really helps me to wear a long skirt and long socks. Both because it is quicker and easier to get undressed (just take shoes & pants off) and because it feels a lot less naked. You lie with your knees up, so can just lift the skirt up to your knees like a little tent, rather than having to lift it to your waist. And cosy socks are mentally comforting somehow!

Do plan a little treat to look forwards to afterwards.

And do take your grandmother up on her offer to come with you! Or possibly your boyfriend if it would help you. Scientific studies have found that holding someone's hand help people cope with pain, and holding the hand of someone they love and trust raises people's pain thresholds dramatically. And of course having someone there for support just makes the whole thing less daunting and scary.

Good luck 🙂

I have experienced trauma and find them very difficult- I’m 60. Let them know and they will use the smallest ones possible to make it manageable for you

I had my smear a few weeks ago and felt like I had to explain to the nurse that my lady garden was extremely unkempt 🤣 honestly it was a jungle down there 🤦🏻‍♀️ she said she wouldn't be looking at that and was only interested in one particular area. We then had a good laugh about our fuzzy lady parts. Nurses are used to nervous patients and they are a truly heroic profession. She will do everything she can to help you feel more at ease. Having your Grandma there too will hopefully ease some of your worries. Good luck 💐

Tbh, I found them incredibly painful. Some people get annoyed when you say that, but tough, its true.

STTE.

Women are literally dying of embarrassment, please just bite the bullet and go OP. My auntie was the same and I booked my smear test in front of her and pretty much forced her to do the same (hadn't had one in over 10 years and was having heavy bleeding) she went and it turned out she had precancerous cells that need treatment.

When you go in, they'll ask you to remove your bottoms and lay down and they'll give you something to cover your legs/privates - they will give you privacy to do this. Shuffle down midway toward the bottom of the bed. When they come in, ankles and legs together, drop your knees to the sides and cough a couple of times (will help your cervix lower/make it more visible). They will then inset the speculum using lubrication (ask for the smallest one and tell them before hand that you're nervous). They will get something that looks like a tiny toilet brush (which is soft - bristles needed for cell collection) and will insert this into your cervix via the speculum and will twist a few times. A bit of pressure and uncomfortable feeling but I don't feel any pain. The longest part will be getting your bottoms off/on.

Good luck OP, you'll be fine and relieved once it's all over!

Not painful at all. Just a bit uncomfortable.

Honestly, it’s not that bad at all.
I have endometriosis and let’s just say that’s a pain level where you want to give up.
In 2026, medical practitioners are so well-versed in every issue presenting.
In your case, the whole lack of education from your mother is causing you more anxiety than the test itself.
As it is your first time they will guide you through it and it is over so, so quickly.
As an adult woman you really, really need to accept responsibility for this part of your health now. These checks are so important and as you go a bit further in life, and if children are in the offing, it’s time to check this one off your list. It is vital for all women.
I had my first one at 17, I am nearly 60. I was sent because they couldn’t get to the bottom of my ‘period issues’ and I turned up in my school uniform to a maternity hospital.
Then they asked if I minded any students observing I thought well I am a student, great!
Nobody had told me what a smear test was.
I had been sunbathing all weekend as well and had a proper tan and a pale bikini line.
There I am, waiting for the test, in walks 10 students. Mostly male. And one asks…
Have you been on your holidays then?
So if you can come back with a more mortifying story I will send you a prize.
By the way in 2026 they ask for consent at every stage and tell you that you can stop at any stage, too.

I had only the tiniest bit of discomfort having smears all through my 20s, 30s and 40s, they didn't bother me at all. It wasn't until my most recent, at 57, that I found it extremely painful.

Menopause is a whole lotta fun nobody really warns you about when you are younger. I know it’s more in the news now but seems very recent?

I, on the other hand, would rather have a root canal any day 😆