Too scared to go for a smear test

[nervybs]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really.

I’m 26 and haven’t yet been for my first smear test. I’ve had some reminders and I’ve also been told I have to go into the GP for a medication review that they usually do over the phone, I am assuming this is so they can try and encourage me to go face to face.

I am absolutely terrified.

I was brought up by a mother who shamed my body and shamed anything to do with “privates” whilst also flouncing around naked herself. As such, I have a really difficult relationship with my body. The idea of a stranger seeing my intimate parts makes me want to die, which I know sounds so dramatic but it genuinely gives me palpitations and a nervous shake to think of.

In addition, I also have a very very low pain tolerance. I’m talking, pulled muscle in my neck brings tears to my eyes, level. So I am terrified that it will hurt. I know that they don’t provide any kind of painkillers or numbing for it and that terrifies me. I’m scared that it will hurt and i’ll be told I’m being stupid and they won’t stop.

I’ve seen so many horror stories online of women saying how awful and painful it is, and then it makes me doubt the ones saying it’s fine as them trying to minimise it!

I KNOW that having cancer is far far worse than the smear but I just really can’t get past these points and do it.

i was really hoping that the roll out of the home tests might mean I could do that but I’ve since read that they’re only for 30+ so would be ages before I qualify.

I’m just looking for some reassurance, someone to walk me through it maybe or explain how bad it truly is. I’d almost prefer to go in knowing “it’s going to really hurt” than be lied to and say it’s fine.

For a bit of additional context, my grandmother had a hysterectomy at the same time as having my mum due to complications, so never had a smear. So there isn’t anyone I can ask for personal experience other than my mother herself which I will not be doing

I find them mildly uncomfortable. Nothing more than that.

I’ve probably had more than 30 smear tests and none of them have ever hurt.

When the doctor is inserting the speculum (tool to hold things open) I just focus on taking deep breaths. The whole thing takes a minute.

Honestly, smear tests are 1000 times more preferable than being treated for cancer.

I has one very recently and it was absolutely fine. The gel they use was a bit cold but the procedure didn't hurt.

It’s over and done with in less than 5 minutes. Just ask the receptionist which nurse would be best as you’re anxious about the procedure. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Given the choice I’d have a smear over a mammogram any day of the week.

I know realistically that it is obviously so much better than being treated for cancer, but I just can’t get over the hurdle in my head. I wonder if I explain my nerves to the GP they’d let me have a longer slot so I don’t feel rushed/can have it all explained?

Go to boots and buy a HPV test. Do it yourself at home.

You can request a smaller speculum.

I can understand the worry but honestly, I have been having them for over twenty years and they have always been fine. You will chat with the nurse first, asking you about your periods and any concerns. Then you go to the couch, remove your lower half clothing and pull the sheet over you. Tell the nurse you’re ready then she will come in and explain what she will do next. You have to lie with your ankles together and then rest your knees down to the sides as far as comfortable. You may be asked to shuffle down the bed a little more if you’re not lying very flat. She will then gently insert a speculum to enable her to see the cervix clearly. Then she will gently insert a stick with a brush on the end and this will ‘tickle’ your cervix, which feels a bit weird but not painful. Then she will pop this in a specimen pot and you’ll be told it all looked fine and to get dressed. To be honest, I always chat away about holidays or something when it’s being done and it helps with the embarrassment. I just tell myself they see many vaginas every day and mine will be no different.

Well done for not allowing your worries to stop you considering going for your smear. It may just save your life. Plus, if you really don’t like the experience, it’s not long until you can do the home test and you wouldn’t need to go through it again anyway.

Until very late in life (late 50s) when vaginal atrophy caused pain, I found that smear tests were very mildly uncomfortable. Less than dentist's visit by a long way for me. Have a chat with your GP. Maybe she might give you a Xanax for your first one. Then I think you will be fine thereafter once you realise they are nowhere near as big a deal as you are imagining

I promise it really isn't a big deal. A little uncomfortable yes, sore no. And literally we're speaking seconds of discomfort not minutes. You could always take a couple of ibuprofen before you go. Any nurse i've had has been lovely and make you feel so at ease. You're covered with a sheet so it really doesn't feel like you're just lying there with everything out

This is so so helpful thank you! I have a vague idea of the experience but for it all to be written out step by step is really good. To be honest I didn’t realise there was a proper sheet, I thought you just held up your skirt and had everything out, so that helps too.

I do genuinely really want to go for one, I know it’s important, just need to get over the fear

For me the worst part is the speculum going in. It doesnt hurt but is a really horrible sensation. Because I don't like it, I tense up and this means she can't do it until I relax. Vicious circle!

Definitely tell them that you’re nervous about it. I’m sure they’ll have had other patients that were scared too.

As others here have mentioned, it’s a very quick procedure. And in regards to being body conscious, remember that you’ll be treated by professionals who do this every day.

I find them very briefly, moderately, uncomfortable. (I have a very low pain threshold. Ask my dentist.)

Take painkillers beforehand. Plan a treat afterwards. Ask your GP's surgery for the most obstetrically experienced nurse in the practice. (I have a 'tricky' cervix and was advised to do this. Tell them you're nervous.) Tell the nurse you're nervous. Think long and hard about the health benefits.

You'll be fine. The nurses have seen it all. I have fascinating conversations with them about women's pubic hair over the years. Don't miss a scheduled appointment because you can't get a waxing appointment at your beautician.

This is partly what I’m worried about! That i’ll be so tense and nervous that this will actually make it worse 😬

Just go and get it done. Be scared, do it anyway. It won't be as bad as you think.

One of the best pieces of advice I've heard and loved by is.. be scared, do it scared!

It's honestly so quick, simple, a bit uncomfortable. As a woman you will most likely experience far more intrusion and look back and realise this was absolutely nothing. Xx

My lovely grandmother has suggested we “make a day of it” 🤣 by her coming with me and then we can go off and do something nice together afterwards, which is very nice of her and hopefully would make it feel less scary. A bit like giving a kid a new pencil case because they went to the dentist I suppose 😅

Im almost thinking I need to just do it and if it was as completely awful as I imagined then at least I know and have the excuse for next time/to get the home test kit!

That’s why I mentioned the deep breathing. If you’re focused on breathing in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 4, it’ll be over!

Tell them you are nervous (you aren't the first and you won't be the last). They will be reassuring. Remind yourself they have seen plenty of genitals and it's just another body part to the clinician. For that part you need to put on your big girl pants (before taking them off again 😉) . If you've have had a penis in your vagina then a small speculum will not feel a lot different. The potential very very mildly weird bit can be when they open it slightly. The sweep of your cervix should not hurt but as the nerves have been agitated slightly, you can potentially feel very very mild period-type cramping. The majority of women feel not a lot.

It is mildly embarrassing for a very tiny window of your day. Your alternative is not to bother but then risk far more intrusion into your genital area for cancer treatment. Your choice.

That's one hell of a lovely grandmother.

(If it helps, I used to take my mother with me when I visited the dentist, and she could hold my hand, until I was about 25.)

Oh my love, please book in for one….im honestly not being a harbinger of doom but I would have been dead by your age if I hadn’t have gone for a smear….im 55 now and by the time I was 20 I’d had quite a few partners so thought I would be sensible and go for a smear…..not expecting to be told I had CIN3 and had to go in hospital for a small operation ( with a GA as I’m beyond pathetic with pain etc !!) had a few days light bleeding afterwards and no sex for 6 weeks and thankfully all the smear tests since have been negative….i may have been a bit of a “ go-er “ but thank god I had the sense to have a smear…..when both my ( much better behaved )step daughters neared 25 I chewed their own arses until they had their smear tests….thankfully all fine…I promise the thought of a smear is much worse than the very quick procedure…

a more lighthearted anecdote…..many many years ago I went for a smear and the nurse, bless her said “ oh I am SO happy to see you, I’ve been giving old people flu jabs all morning “….

please get it booked sweetheart. Xx

If you want a smear test have one. If not please be aware they are not needed. They are being phased out world wide because they are a huge expensive performance that put people off being tested when simpler cheaper methods are universally available

It's over in a jiffy and the nurse is always really lovely. You can do it!

As a backup option you can order a self-testing kit from the NHS app:

www.nhsapp.service.nhs.uk/hpv-self-sampling