Too scared to go for a smear test

[nervybs]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really.

I’m 26 and haven’t yet been for my first smear test. I’ve had some reminders and I’ve also been told I have to go into the GP for a medication review that they usually do over the phone, I am assuming this is so they can try and encourage me to go face to face.

I am absolutely terrified.

I was brought up by a mother who shamed my body and shamed anything to do with “privates” whilst also flouncing around naked herself. As such, I have a really difficult relationship with my body. The idea of a stranger seeing my intimate parts makes me want to die, which I know sounds so dramatic but it genuinely gives me palpitations and a nervous shake to think of.

In addition, I also have a very very low pain tolerance. I’m talking, pulled muscle in my neck brings tears to my eyes, level. So I am terrified that it will hurt. I know that they don’t provide any kind of painkillers or numbing for it and that terrifies me. I’m scared that it will hurt and i’ll be told I’m being stupid and they won’t stop.

I’ve seen so many horror stories online of women saying how awful and painful it is, and then it makes me doubt the ones saying it’s fine as them trying to minimise it!

I KNOW that having cancer is far far worse than the smear but I just really can’t get past these points and do it.

i was really hoping that the roll out of the home tests might mean I could do that but I’ve since read that they’re only for 30+ so would be ages before I qualify.

I’m just looking for some reassurance, someone to walk me through it maybe or explain how bad it truly is. I’d almost prefer to go in knowing “it’s going to really hurt” than be lied to and say it’s fine.

For a bit of additional context, my grandmother had a hysterectomy at the same time as having my mum due to complications, so never had a smear. So there isn’t anyone I can ask for personal experience other than my mother herself which I will not be doing

Couldn't feel anything at my last one. Nurse was lovely and chatty x

Have you ever been sexually active? If not then you don't really need one.

Just wondering what you mean sorry? I know that it’s now really a HPV test rather than a full smear, but my understanding was still that they’re very much needed

I would go to GP surgery or call them and tell them that it’s your first smear so you want experienced female nurse.
I personally saw a lot different gynecologists over years, males and females, but prefer a female nurse for a smear test.
I think one of the tricks is to make a cough just before inserting speculum.
And make sure you wear something simple to take off but warm, feeling cold affects relaxation.
Imo it’s uncomfortable rather than painful and very quick.

Yes, I have a boyfriend that I am sexually active with. He’s the only person I’ve been with but I understand that makes no difference.

I did also have the HPV vaccine, but I assume that also doesn’t matter now

Thank you so much for this, you sound so kind and caring!

The smear tests I've had have ranged from mildly uncomfortable to so quick I couldn't believe it was done. My last one, the whole appointment took 6 minutes! I promise it's fine!

It is nerve wracking the first one as you don’t know what to expect. I had my first one at 19 and I was shy but honestly it was over and done with very very quickly and you are covered up to an extent. I would say please try relax because if your tense it’s very hard for them to do and can make it uncomfortable they should tell you what they are doing so you know, relax and take a few deep breaths and it will be over with, then you can go shopping with your gran after and have some lunch ☺️

Mildly uncomfortable but wouldn’t call them painful. I’ve had many and they are always good at making me comfortable. In my experience, they let you get undressed (waist down) in private behind a curtain, give you a towel to cover yourself and then for the actual smear, they are usually very good at keeping you chatting and distracted while they do it and check in with you as they do it. It’s pretty quick. Uncomfortable- feels a bit like period pain. As soon as it’s done they leave you to get dressed in private. I know it’s scary, but it’s important and hopefully you’ll have a positive experience and it will help make the next time easier.

Generally younger women tend to find them easier, if that helps at all, and they are better than they used to be. We used to have to have them earlier and they used metal tools that were worse, so all I'm saying is that if a much older woman says they were bad, things changed about 20 years ago. Big difference between my first and second test-I had my first at 20 in 2000, and it was much better when they moved to the plastic speculum.
But you mention the home tests. Even if they're aimed at certain women, would anyone who requests one be considered-can any HCP advise OP?

My best bit if advice is wear odd socks. Sounds ridiculous but during my last smear as I led down i realised I was wearing odd socks, I started really over thinking about what the nurse would think of my very obvious odd socks and wheter she would judge me that I didn't tense up, and didn't notice having the smear test at all. It was the most comfortable smear test I ever have had!

Your grandmother sounds lovely. And having something nice to do afterwards is a great idea.

I would tell the nurse you're feeling nervous - I'm sure they'll be very kind to you. It really is just an every day part of their job and they won't think anything of it.

I always ask for a small speculum and would suggest you do too.

It's all over very quickly and you'll be glad you've done it. You can do it!

Hello.

You could be me. I have crippling health anxiety and avoid most health related necessities. Stupid, I know. This is post-children. Pre-children I took it all in my stride.

Anyway, I digress. I avoided smear tests for a good few years. Stupidly, stupid. Worked myself into a frenzy and then just used the motto previously mentioned. ‘Be scared. Do it scared’ So that’s exactly what I did. And d’you know what? It’s was all in my head. Not exactly pleasant but most definitely not painful. Uncomfortable at worst. The nurse will be so versed at dealing with those of us who are nervous.
Best piece of advice I can give. When she tells you, take a big breath out. A big, loud, slow exhale. This immediately relaxes all the muscles that might otherwise be tense. Ask the nurse when and then BREATHE…I promise it works.

You’ve got this. You’re a warrior! x

I echo pp that said just buy a home HPV testing kit. You've had the jab so you are at a massively lower risk of cervical changes than I am (missed out on the jab by a year or two). Plus I think you'll only need a test every 5 years?!

No not at all needed. If you have your smear, it is only tested for HPV. Nothing else. If you are HPV negative that's it. You are definitely not tested for cancer/abnormal cells.
For the few people that are positive for HPV, the samples are tested further.
So if you are doing a home test and it's negative for HPV thats it. You're done. If it's positive, at that stage you book a smear.
There will be no routine smears in a few years time.

Take some paracetamol before you go and tell them you’re nervous before they start. I find it mildly uncomfortable in the moment then have a sort of period cramp feeling for a little while afterwards.
It’s not pleasant and I dislike going, but I try to remind myself that it’s just another body part and health professionals won’t give it a second thought, anymore than they would looking in your ear or at your throat.

Good luck, OP. I promise it won’t be as bad as you’re imagining it will. And it’s over really quickly.

Go anyway. Face down your fears. Your health and future might depend on it.

I know its hard going for your first one, i avoided it for ages til i let slip that I had been to my mum and she gave me an earful about how important it is. I can say with complete honesty that i have never had a painful one. The nurses have seen it all and they will understand if you tell them that its your first one and you are nervous. I can't impress on you how important it is that you go. It could save your life.

Go when you are mid cycle, then the cervix is soft. I’ve always done that and it’s never hurt. You’ll wonder what you were so worried about honestly x

Firstly, please don’t feel alone in this, lots of people struggle to attend for smear tests for similar, and different, reasons. You are ahead of the curve but lookin* for ways to help you manage it. That’s brilliant!
Your GP surgery should be used to making accommodations for those who are worried about it. Let them know about your concerns and they may be able to let you know how they can help e.g. meet the clinician and see the room first etc.

My pain threshold is fine everywhere except for my cervix and around there. Having a coil was impossible. But having smears is ok, a little uncomfortable in the moment but nothing lingers.

Body confidence wise, I always imagine the 1000s of bodies the person must have done this for, from 20s to 80s and how mine is just another one on the conveyor belt. Don’t know if this might help you?

Mine have never hurt and I have a really low pain threshold. Definitely tell them you’re nervous though so they know to take it slow and reassure you.
In terms of it being embarrassing, I remember joking with the nurse once about how many smears she must do and she said, “honestly. I see so many of these I see them in my sleep!” 😂 She will have seen every possible type of vulva over the years and yours will not be in any way memorable!
When I was younger and a bit more shy, I used to wear a long skirt for smear tests so you just have to whip your knickers off. Feels slightly less exposing than being naked for the whole of your bottom half.

👋 @nervybs im 45 and get them every 5 years and I still dread the letter coming in. Please go, its definitely a nerve wracking thing , i wont deny that, but the nurse totally makes you feel at ease and its over in less that 20 mins. Its all for your health ❤️.

I have a tilted cervix, can't use tampons as the angle makes it so painful, and found smears agony for years. Then at some point after having kids I stopped suffering in silence, told the nurse it was always awful and I was scared, and it has never ever been so bad again. The nurse used a smaller speculum, advised a position to change the angle, went slowly, was really reassuring, stopped when I needed her to. Now I tell every nurse, every time, and its always a bit uncomfortable but never painful.

Do NOT suffer in silence like I did, or let the fear of it stop you having the smear test altogether
Speak up, explain how you're feeling, ask for them to go slowly and explain what's happening and listen to you.

OP, if you're sexually active you need a smear test. My DD is 25 and had a test a few weeks ago. They found some abnormal cells so she had to go today for a colposcopy and they took a small biopsy. Hopefully it's nothing, but if - worst case scenario- the cells are pre-cancerous, they've caught it early.

As others have said, it can be mildly uncomfortable at most, and I agree that's it's awkward lying there exposed for the procedure, but those few minutes of discomfort could save you from something much worse. Explain to the GP it's your first time and you're anxious about it. They'll do all they can to make it as easy as they can for you.

What a previous poster said about the smear only testing for HPV these days is partially true. If the HPV test is negative, they stop there. But if you do have HPV, then they will check the same sample for abnormal cells, so it speeds up diagnosis. A nurse or doctor will also do a visual check for any issues with your vagina or cervix, which you obviously can’t do yourself!
It’s likely that you will need a vaginal examination at some point in your life (thrush, BV, pregnancy, unusual bleeding, etc) so it’s probably going to be better to face this fear now if you can?
Much better to do a home test than not have any testing at all though!