Rules for being old

[TheFamousSix]

This is a bit mean spirited but I am writing myself a list of rules for when I am old based on the things I am struggling with regarding my own parents.

My list so far

Your kids do not care about your friends' illnesses (unless it impacts you eg your friend is dying or you are caring for them)

If you wouldn't say it to your daughter in law then don't say it to your daughter (eg judgement of parenting things)

Only offer food once, or twice max. It is not generous to offer a dozen times, just annoying.

Any others?

Your children don’t owe you the sacrifice of their own lives and relationships. Have seen some really selfish people demanding that and daughters too feeble to stand up to them. Their responsibility is to their children, not their parents.
Make friends, expand your social circle, have absorbing hobbies.

My parents were incredibly selfish, to some extent, I don't think they knew they were doing it.

I have a life, I work, I join things, I have friends. I'm not talking about sacrifice. A coffee would do it.

Because if you did ask why, this would amount to not respecting “boundaries”

@EricTheHalfASleeve we can’t fit in any downstairs loo or shower. We’d really like to move into an older persons’ complex. Security, a flat all on one level, support if needed. But we can’t afford to buy one, our house might raise enough, but our income wouldn’t support the fees. Our local authority doesn’t allow home owners to apply, and other options are very limited. Stalemate.

I can't speak for other banks, but Barclays makes it dead easy to pay in a cheque. In the app you just fill in a few details, take a photo of the front and back of the cheque and submit. Done! There's no need to go to an actual bank, or post anything to them.

😆
Alternatively, ignore; I find that works very well for me.

My adult grandkids say I am not a 'normal' Nana...and that suits me fine.
They mean it in a nice way...but that means they must think of normal grandmothers to be frail little old ladies who don't do much....i doubt that will be true in the majority of cases.

Talk about being so lazy and entitled that you can’t even be arsed to scan a cheque on your banking app. My Gran gives me money via cheque and it takes seconds to scan. Even if it doesn’t work the odd time and I have to stop by a bank on my lunch break it’s hardly the end of the world ffs

That is true. But friends don't fill the gaps of family, they really don't.

Perhaps.