How can we increase respect for women

[Flufffluff11]

I've had a lot of chats with male friends and acquaintances about this lately.

A lot of them told me that boys are taught to disrespect girls, from many influejces, from a young age to a point where they don't see women as human.

So if a woman tries to say how life needs to be improved for women. If she tries to talk to men about feeling uncomfortable or scared on a walk alone through a town for example, men don't listen because their brain automatically thinks of the woman "as not even human" . They are also under pressure to look manly in front of each other, and some of them do this by disrespecting women in front of other men

Again, not all men. But the crime rate against women is huge. Men are not going to change, as it doesn't affect them negatively. I'm really interested in talking to other women about this.

How can we raise respect of women in society, in general?

It doesn’t matter how ‘politely’ you say it, you’ve taken this post out of context, and saying politely at the beginning doesn’t make it any less dismissive.

The previous poster isn’t posting the men’s opinions, she is just telling us of her experience with men not having an awareness of the hassle women get when they are out and about. It’s relative to the conversation, she didn’t say ‘my 2 male friends think it’s terrible’, she said that the men she has spoken to haven’t experienced what she has experienced as a woman and that they didn’t have an awareness of it happening.

‘A lot of them told me that boys are taught to disrespect girls, from many influejces, from a young age to a point where they don't see women as human.’

I don’t believe this for one second

Elaborate on your opinion.

For a start: Lots of men have been influenced by toxic male influencers online who say that men are worth more than women.

The problem with blaming "influencers" and the none defined term of "lots" is that it ignores any cultures that do not hold women in very high regard.

Its similar to the poster that wanted to ban only fans whilst ignoring that not all only fans accounts are porn.

It's not one thing.

We all know what worldwide, religions, governments etc have kept women down.

Now with more technology, men are watcing toxic male influencers demean women online

I cannot believe anyone can look at what is happening to women and girls around the globe and claim we are scaremongering or exaggerating and its not that big a deal, men's attitudes (as a group) are just fine and nothing needs to change.

I think representation is really important. Though I think it has improved a bit since then, I remember seeing a stat when my kids were little saying that 90% of protagonists on TV aimed at pre-school children were boys. This sort of thing very early starts a lesson for both girls and boys that boys/men do everything important and women stand by the side and support sometimes.

We need men to read books and watch films by and featuring women the same way women are willing to read and watch things foregrounding men.

We need (and this is a big ask I know) jobs that are considered 'female' to be paid as much as 'men's' jobs - a pipe dream I know, economically.

Womens health is also still woefully unrespected and unresearched.

Also I have found that many men don't have respect for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth.

I was at a group recently. a man asked the rest of us if we had children. I said no. He said to me 'oh you're missing out on so much'.

I said 'would you carry a baby in your body for nearly a year'. He said 'well it's only 9 months'.

I said ' my mother nearly died when she was pregnant with me'.

I've had so many other men ask me why I don't want children

They just expect women to have children

I agree that it is not just one thing.

Many of these are home based

religion - home
governments - politics - home (or should be)
Cultures - home
Internet - home
even the issue with smart phones at school, given by parents - home.
And even the influencers - internet - parents - home.

And we are trying to battle this in school with a couple of hours lessons and watching all boys like they are convicts.

I'm sorry but if you keep telling someone that they are bad then they eventually will believe it.

If handled wrong this will cause more problems than it will solve and schools and men (as a class fucking lol) will end up taking the blame.

Two years ago I would have said the same as you.

After going to a co-ed school, my poor daughter knows more about com groups, incels and police video recorded interviews than she does about GCSE Chemistry.

What do you think we should do. Men are going to keep abusing women because they can.

"I'm sorry but if you keep telling someone that they are bad then they eventually will believe it."

They were already bad. My mother was raped. Two of my aunties (I have 5) were raped. One was raped at age 12.

I was sexually abused as a child and as an adult. A lot of my friends were sexually abused as children and adults.

A lot of men are already out of control as there are little to no consequences for them.

There needs to be more government initiatives on women's safety.

Are you really saying that every man and every teenage boy is bad?

Apart from being wrong that is a very dangerous way of thinking.

As for what needs to be done,

We need to target those that are causing the problems, and yes this includes women when they are the problem as well.

As for the various cultures and religions, I have no idea as in some cases it will get you called racist, phobic etc.

The problems need recognising and not excused because of religion or culture or sex and gender.

"Are you really saying that every man and every teenage boy is bad?"

No I didn't say that.

You said that if you keep a telling a person that they are bad, they will believe they are bad. And I replied 'they were bad anyway' meaning that the bad people were already bad.

I then pointed out all the women that I know that have been sexually abused. I just want society to improve and to not see women crying over sexual abuse any more. That is a natural thing to want.

Given the context your point was badly explained.

Wanting a better world is something that we should all aspire to.

I don't know why you fixated on my wording, than on the sad examples of sexual abuse that I wrote about in my post. I think that's more important

One thing that would be very easy for companies to do would be to put women's sports on the main channels and not hide them away on youtube, Alba or making those interested in the sports watch through another stream media.

I mean what sort of fucking idiot would put the world champions on Iplayer and replace it on one of the main channels with a 60 + year old film

Because the people to blame are the men that commited those acts.

I disagree that it's just about the individual. If it was, women wouldn't be disrespected and abused on such a large scale.

Boys and men are taught harmful things and are exposed to violent porn from a young age. Their whole gender needs to taught to respect women.

The first porn I ever saw, I was shown without my consent. I was in college and the boy next to me asked me to come over to his computer. He had a porn image open. It wasn't sex. It was an image of a woman shoving a metal kitchen utensil up her vagina.nshe was grimacing in pain. I was so shocked and he laughed. I saw it being sent round to other boys

This is what teenage boys were looking at, at the time

That was what A teehage boy was looking at.
Generalising about this or anything is bad and a poor place to start.

Yes everybody should be taught respect
Everybody should be taught what a good relationship looks like.

But the person to blame for showing you pron was that teenager not the others that were working and not related to the incident.

It wasnt 'a teenage boy'. I'm giving one example of many.

As I said, the photo had been sent to him and I saw it being shared around the boys in my class.

I heard other boys in school talking about watching violent porn at other times.

I've met multiple men that I've dated as an adult that said that porn is extremely violent and this is where men often start to get violent ideas on how to treat women.

One man that I dated very briefly said that his ex broke up with him because he put his hands on her neck and started choking her during sex. I said 'never do that!' He said 'but i saw it in porn and I did it very lightly'

'They don't see women as human' who the fuck are these men? How do you know them?

jeeez that made me sad

They are lots of different men that ive met at different stages of life.

You didn't say that it had been sent to him. You can read your own post back and see what you wrote.

And I doubt that that a teenager would get away with showing porn on a school/college run pc, even if they got as far as it being on there once seen they would lose access to th ecomputers.

And each one of these men is responsible for their own actions.

As I have said if we want to tackle those that do these things then we need to tackle those that do them, not those that are the same sex.

Again I am all for teaching about good relationships, consent, the problems with porn etc. as a whole school thing.

those that do these things should have to face the consquences of their actions.

But treating a whole group as bad because of there sex is wrong.

Do you know one example of male entitlement that happened to me recently.

My male colleague was complaining about another colleague last week. He complained Multiple times. I listened to him.

This week I complained about someone at work to him. He said 'Im not comfortable hearing about this can we stop. ' I said 'I was just going to tell you one thing'. He said 'well then I'm leaving ' and walked off.

He messaged on our work message app saying that it was stressful to listen to me and he was setting a boundary.

I then went into work yesterday and there was loads of work messages from him complaining about work. I didn't reply.

He doesn't want to listen to me, but he expects me to listen to him. That is male entitlement right there.

It's not about treating a whole group as bad.

It's about aiming to improve crime rates that a certain group of people are committing.

I'm white. I attend anti racism training in my work place. The videos all show examples of racism being sone by white people towards other races. I've never been offended by this. I don't think I have been racist myself but I am happy to attend the training as I know that it is predominantly white people who are doing racist actions towards other races