How to tell my late dad's partner she is not invited

[OnlyPocketChange]

Sorry to mention Christmas in September!

For Christmas, family come to us on alternating years, so one year my mum, brother, sister and their partners and kids come to us and the following year my dad and his partner come to us. I have done this for my dad only, I do not like his partner.

It would have been my dads turn this year but he died in June. Since he died, I have not visited his partner but she has called and text me a few times asking for favours and money as my dad left most of his estate to me and my siblings.

Yesterday I spoke to my aunt who is my dads sister and she has told me that my dads partner is still expecting to be invited for Christmas. I will not be having her here and need a nice but firm way, if that’s possible, of telling her that.

How would you word it?

Well done for sending the message OP.

Rather than feel guilt tripped because you're no longer accommodating her, reflect on that fact that you've gone above and beyond in the past.

You've done more than your siblings, have you not?

I think we feel hardwired to react to accusations of not doing xyz, (and she is expecting you to cave in maybe?) but spend little time thinking of what we have done.

I stated that the post was vague, which it is. I haven’t been as invested in you, that’s right. I replied to a commenter and then I received a couple of childish comebacks that didn’t make sense. I can, of course, see why people thought I was talking about this situation but I wasn’t, my bad there. It wasn’t directly about this post. I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong or made a mistake. My comment was misconstrued and I get it.

Did I think that though? I didn’t say the OP should have her over for Christmas, as you can see. So, sorry, there wasn’t a backtrack. You’ve made an issue out of nothing but you do you. And regarding your other comment I don’t feel that you’ve made me look like an idiot at all. You’ve just misconstrued the one little comment that I made and I’ve tried to explain but to no avail.

Whatever
You can't argue with stupid

Do you really think that this is a good idea?

Trying? Asking for favours and money is not trying. Offering help, visiting often etc. this is trying

Inventing??? I invented nothing - just stated how things are. There is nothing in her post about where they lived, even if that were relevant, so who is inventing?

OP has clearly stated in one of her posts that they did not live together. It was at * *15/09/2026 10:37 - so a few hours before your quoted post.

You have invented that the OP’s DF forgot to include his GF in his will, despite it being perfectly reasonable to leave monies to children and not to an adult GF.

What I actually said was that it is common for wills not to be changed; what I actually said was that he may or may not have got around to it, which is common in 2nd relationships.
What I actually said was that it may have been deliberate that he left her out.

Interesting how you neither commented on my reminder that the information about not living together was indeed available to you before you posted, nor apologised to the PP for saying to her that this information was her invention.

You have a nice day at the chessboard, dear.