What's the most WTF assumption you've heard about yourself.

[Motorwayview]

Mine is a hum dinger.
DH is significantly older than me - he is retired and I work PT. We have planned carefully so we were able to retire somewhere sunny. During our 35 years together he was a medium earner and I was the higher earner - his job was flexible for school drop offs/ pick ups ect. We have 2 adult DC and grandchildren.
He has joined a hobby group and last night they had a social evening so I went along.
Random woman - who was the wife of the organiser I found out later- " Well, you've landed on your feet - HIS children and ex wife must hate you " said very loudly in front of a group of people I don't really know.
I did put her straight , but WTF !

lol, cheeky cow

Many many moons ago I started teacher training. I was doing a lesson on road safety so went to the local police station to ask if they had any material. I took my younger sibling. There is a sizeable age gap between us. The policewoman behind the counter said to her colleague "there's a young mum here". I wanted to say to her "I hope you investigate crime a bit more thoroughly than that!" but decided against it.🤣🤣🤣

I have probably made someone think this, at a wedding I asked someone about their dad, it was their boyfriend 😳

People assumed for a long time that I was a lot poorer than I am because I lived so long in a flat they openly looked down their noses at. I was quietly paying off the mortgage, investing on the side. Then I sold up and moved to a lovely house in a nice part of the city. I had questions, raised eyebrows, "friends" seeing me doing well in life and desperately trying to drag me down.

I have had the one around salary, more than once too. Where assumptions were made about who earned the most in our relationship. I also still use my maiden name, so it amuses me when my DH gets called Mr "Thingamebobwotsit". He is quite comfortable with it and we have a good laugh afterwards.

I am, however, mixed race (UK born) and from a fairly traditional white working class area. And going out with my white Mum in the 80s, 90s and 2000s meant they never actually believed it was my Mum. The beat people all took each time we gently corrected people, was palpable. I also got (although thankfully a lot less now)... so where are you from type questions, and when you replied xxxx in the UK, the amount of people who thought it was ok to turn round and ask "no where are you really from?" .

No malice in it, but an awful lot of assumptions.

Funniest however was that for work reasons we had men dropping off cars at the house for a number of years. Our elderly neighbour, turned out thought this meant only two possibilities - drugs or running a brothel. Neither were true!

Oh op I’ve had this kind of thing our whole relationship. I have older dc from my first marriage. Younger dc together with my dh. He was the sahp as I was the higher earner. He then took part time job to keep the house running and do school runs when our dc grew up. All money shared as a family.

for his significant birthday I bought him a very nice car that he’s always wanted. I’d had an extremely good redundancy payment and then managed to jump into an even better job straight after. He deserved that car, he’s the best dad and dh.

the amount of people who’ve said “I bet the wife wasn’t happy about you buying said car” (2 seater sporty thing) is crazy lol. Their faces when dh tells them the wife bought it for him lol.

there’s so many people who can’t get their head around the woman being the breadwinner

People always assume I’m a snob or I’m up myself. I’m poor, plain and not very smart. I have nothing to be a snob about. I’m just shy because of all of the things I mentioned above.

My manager comes out with some crackers. You see, you don't need your own thoughts or opinions (especially when you are a woman) when my manager is around to make them for you.

Apparently, I am

1. Too confident. I told family members, who laughed and said, "Your manager obviously doesn't know you very well, then!" Quite frankly, those of us in that department have had our confidence ground down until you have very little left.
2. Disobedient. I have two people telling me to do things differently, and trying to keep you both happy is hard work.
3. Inconsiderate, because I take "too much time off" with migraines, and "perhaps the job isn't suitable for you". FYI, I can't walk properly, or drive, when I have migraines, and you know that full well. Also, I should ask dear manager's permission if I want to apply for another job elsewhere.
4. S*. Gee, thanks... and you wonder why HR gets in touch with you a lot about your attitude.
5. I think I'm too good for the place. If I was, why would I still be here?
6. My anxiety interprets everything negatively. No, dear manager, it's you who lets your favourite get away with absolute murder and will make every excuse under the sun to blame everybody but your favourite. The rest of us are made to feel like we're disposable.

Oh, and apparently, I'm secretly rich because I CLEARLY went to private schools. I just about made it through state schooling in one piece (long-term bullying).

People love to assume I married DH for his money and make little digs about that.
or because I’m a SAHM I’m “lucky my DH lets me spend his money on (whatever item I’ve bought)”

my favourite one is “how on earth did you meet DH?!” Me coming from a lower working class area and DH’s family being well off and kids went to private school. It blows their mind when I tell them I also went to private school!

That all my neighbours here think I don't work and am a lady of leisure 😂.

Never heard such rubbish. I have worked without a single break since age 18 - from 18-21 alongside doing my degree. Then full time. No stopping. I'm now 51, and because I had my son while I was at uni, I've never even taken maternity leave.

I worked in London offices from age 21 (after graduating) to 2020. Then because of covid, my present job became remote only.

My partner was talking to the neighbours about a year ago and they told him I was "lucky" that my partner worked for the both of us! WHAT?? The opposite is true! He only went back to work recently as he's got Crohns - which is NOT his fault and I was happy to support him, but the fact that those neighbours, and it turned out, others, thought the opposite was true, was shocking.

I was complimented on how good my English was. In England. And how well my children spoke English.

As we had moved from Germany a few months prior, which had translated in other parents minds as we didnt speak English.
They seem surprised that British families also move to other countries.

I went to dinner with DH colleague . He asked if I worked, then said oh it’s nice to have a bit of pin money. I earned more than either of them.

I've had similar before. I've been friends with all types of people in my life, and I've had a couple of instances where an individual called me 'posh,' 'judgemental', and 'think I am better' because I have a decent (probably normal, tbh) vocabulary, don't want to do drugs on a night out (I didn't pass comment once on others doing it) and because I don't put my kids on social media (again, never commented on anyone else's choices). I was young at the time, I would never have such a 'frenemy' in my life ever again. She obviously had a chip on her shoulder and needed to project onto someone.

I’m from another well-know. English-speaking country and have twice been told by Brits that “you speak very good English.” I have no idea what they think my first language is!

I am a christain.

I’ve had people assume I’m uneducated because I don’t talk much in social situations (I’m autistic and struggle with social cues).
I usually just let them dig themselves into a deep hole before letting them know I have degrees in both arts and sciences, and 45 letters after my name.
At school, I found out in Y11 that people thought I was in a single-parent household because my dad didn’t go to parents’ evenings. It just wasn’t his thing.
People ask me when I’m going to have children (which is a rude question to ask anyone in the first place), and are surprised to find out my DCs are adults with their own homes.

I've had the same experience. When people get to know me they're surprised (hopefully in a good way!).

That I’m a push over trapped in a relationship with a power imbalance, because I don’t work and my husband is the provider.

His ex wife loves this narrative, I think because she is miserable and broke so has to convince herself I’m just as miserable, albeit not broke.

A previous boss once said something scathing about women drivers and my lack of driving ability. Er, wot? Turned out that he'd seen some dents on my car and assumed I'd put them there. No I bloody well hadn't. DH had reversed it into a wall once, and other randoms had left their mark when it had been parked in the street or in car parks. But because I was female, he assumed I'd done all of it. I put him straight rather forcefully.

I get underestimated at work. Recently, I got a great opportunity to join a team in a sought-after business area. People pigeon-holed me as part-of-the-furniture type. I quietly applied for the role and I was selected. It raised a few eyebrows.

People asume that my DH is the bigger earner because I did all the nursery/school runs.

also his cousin often suggests that I should get a nice “working from home job” so my DH can work away from home and earn as much as he does. I’ve spent 25 years building my career and out earn both cousin and DH by loads

Remembered another one, a colleague wanted my role for a friend and started a quiet campaign of fake concern about my (non existent) drinking and/or drug problems, my manager kept saying that they were worried about me, I thought they suspected stress so I assured them I was ok. I was confused when after a lovely holiday people commented that I looked a lot better?!

My Eastern European colleagues assumed I must be a lesbian when I was single.

I bought a new car for about £50k. The neighbour who has lived next door to us for well over a decade and is very judgemental put a post on social media criticising materialistic people who spend beyond their means while barely doing any work.

I WFH and earned £400k last year. I suspect he thinks I earn about 30k.

Apparently I was spitting feathers when my job partner was moved to another (perceived better by them) role. OTOH I couldn’t care what role they’ve been given and good luck to them.