Have you ever smacked your child, given 2021 UK statistic?

[Tinkerbelle4]

Just seen this clip, not really a big fan is super nanny but was shocked to hear the UK 2021 statistic that 62% of parents had physically disciplined their child.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1HXeNmtEDB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I’m curious- do you fall into that statistic? Especially if you have children say under 16- have you ever smacked them?

Never

Eldest twice. Once for repeatedly trying to run into roads when all efforts to explain and reason with him failed and once when he was 12 and decided to show off in front of his new mate, thinking he was big and hard enough to disrespect me. Swiftly availed him of that notion.

Second child once for kicking the dog during a tantrum; she didn't try that twice.

Third child once, shortly before the Peppa pig ban, when she decided to copy her and talk to me like absolute shit. Because that pig is fucking rude. Sharp attitude adjustment and no more Peppa.

Fourth child, never needed to. She is young and autistic and for the most part, smacking her would do no good, she isn't being defiant, she doesn't understand. As she gets older, she will be held to the same standards, I wouldn't let her disrespect me but you do have to make allowances for her level of understanding.

Im not surprised by that.

You wont hear people talking about it because the 'right' thing to say is that you dont smack

I work in statutory services, we know people smack children, sometimes its 'reasonable chastisement' so is about helping parents develop better, more long term, more reasonable stategies.

Sometimes its overtly and actively harmful

Sometimes its abusive.

Not yet!

No, never.

I'd love to say never as we don't hit our kids and I don't believe anyone should hit a child, however one time my son took me by surprise by clawing down my chest and drew blood. Instinctively I put my hand out and tapped his bottom. That was 7 years ago and I still feel terrible. Never done it before or since. He got a lot of cuddles (and we put in place a better way of dealing with his tantrums so they didn't escalate so far).

No but managed to bite my child once when she unexpectedly stuffed candy floss in my mouth 🙈

Absolutely.

Most of my NCT group have.

Have I smacked? No. Have I lost my shit, said things I don’t mean, been far rougher physically in anger and frustration (manhandling into car seats etc) yes. So I don’t feel especially superior.

Honestly yes I have, not proud of it but I did a couple of times when they were younger. Never hard enough to leave a mark just enough to shock them.

You wont hear people talking about it because the 'right' thing to say is that you dont smack

But people are talking about it, right here on the thread?

Very rare.

Most threads, in fact Ive not seen many alternatives, will talk about smacking and the overriding posts will be how they never have, never will and anyone who does is an abuser. The very rare, brave honest poster who says, well I do, or I have done, or rarer still 'I dont think its wrong', will be utterly shot down and piled on

It is one main area of group think, you have to say the right thing.

Never. I live in Scotland where it is illegal anyway, but I have never hit a single person in my entire life, and I don’t plan to start with my kids.

No. Because I was hit as a kid and thought it was bullying back then. I was scared of my mum and as a result kept things from her because I was scared of another walloping. I didn’t trust her. She was hit by her dad, the cycle just continued that she thought you controlled your kids by ruling with fear.
To be fair we have a good relationship now!
I just didn’t want my kids to ever physically fear me.
Far from a perfect parent, certainly not holier than thou but no, I’ve never hit my kids. I’ve walked into my bedroom and screamed into a pillow in frustration a few times though.

What data? I jusy watched the video and didn’t see any

No. I haven’t. I was smacked as a child and all it did was damage my trust and made me less likely to share things I should have shared for fear of getting in trouble. And I was rarely smacked.

However, like a previous poster I have lost my cool and yelled which doesn’t make me feel
proud and likely also damages trust and causes fear.

Twice. Once when she bit my lip and wouldn’t let go. Second time when she ran into the road.

Never. I’d be disgusted if a man smacked his wife for example, so why should smacking children be ok.

Yeah I get what you're saying but some people also forget this is a completely anonymous forum, so there's nothing 'brave' about it.

Having said that, I know what you mean about the inevitable pile on.

I can honestly say that I never hit our kids. But I'm ashamed to say that I used to shout which I think can be at least as damaging. I made a decision to stop shouting and stuck to it for the most part. They're gorgeous young adults now and still seem to like me.

If the question was 'have you ever done this' the answer is very different to 'do you do this'. A one off lost temper moment is different from a consistent use of smacking. Often these instances are in response to a child being violent and a natural defensive move, eg slapping a childs hand away when they are punching you in the face. Also rough handling is unclear, sometimes it's necessary to prevent danger, technically this could be classified as physical discipline. I would say I have never used smacking as a form of discipline but when you break it down I have done some of the other things that might count. Honestly I'm a bit cynical of the statistic.

Youngest no eldest once age 16 when he called me a fucking cunt!!!

Never. I could never hit a child.

Weird how it’s always running into the road that justifies the smack.

I was smacked as a child very rarely and it certainly didn’t scar me and I have a good relationship with my parents. I so I’d never hit my children, but that one time with my eldest honestly I was so shocked I’m not sure I knew what else to do.