Anyone had a baby at 45 or 46 after older children?

[LaterBabies]

Has anyone had a baby at 45/46 after already having dc?

How did you feel - was it the same or harder than previous pregnancies?

Im torn on what to do as we’ve always said we want one more and since 43 I’ve felt very perimenopausal and exhausted. If I felt better I think I’d definitely go ahead but I don’t want to feel worse! I already have 2 dc (7 and 10).

Does anyone have any positive stories ? I think I’m just getting myself anxious as I don’t know how i will cope with the nausea and there exhaustion, weight gain etc. But maybe I’m catastrophising?

We still have top quality frozen blastocysts left over from previous IVF so I need to really think about this as it was all fine in my head till we’ve actually got to the point of booking for a transfer and now I’m nervous !

This article might be useful and reassuring! This question might be better off in the Infertility channel as I'm sure it's something lots of women there have experienced or thought about and I do think the fact it's a frozen embryo from a younger age and the only one left makes a difference.

BBC News - Women hit fertility tipping point at 49 even with young donor eggs - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg018w1r02o?app-referrer=deep-link

I can’t bear the whole “you’ll be deep in Menopause and won’t be able to cope” contingent. It must be mainly from people who aren’t there yet but for many people it’s really not a major problem and if it is then there’s HRT. Life doesn’t end at menopause and us 50 somethings are not all or even nearly all getting deaf blind soft boned needing care and considering retirement because life is too hard as some people suggest

whilst I wouldn’t personally want a baby in my late 40’s I really can’t imagine I wouldn’t be able to cope perfectly well with one

How can you feel ‘too young to have grandchildren’? Surely the younger you are when they’re born, the more of their life you get to spend with them! That can only be a good thing?!

It depends how much is expected of you. If your community expects grandparents to be retired and able to spend lots of time with your grandchildren - but you are working - you can't spend lots of time with them. Better to be an older grandparent with lots of time on their hands. Same applies if you are expected to do childcare, except you will lose income if you cut hours to do that.

If you felt the need to come here and ask a bunch of strangers online, the answer is no

Op Im 53 and tired could think of nothing worse! But we all different. Good age gaps work well too.

Had my perimenapause surprise at 45..
He is 3 & my world.
There's a 15 year age gap between him & next youngest & 18 year gap between him & my eldest.
He adores them & they He.
But ngl I am exhausted!
& mentally I've found it really hard taking step back (with my work..our finances etc)
He is worth it of course..
But not been easy

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Edited to say this was in response to the poster who said you are too old. You’re not. Ok it might not be to everyone’s preference but there’s nothing wrong with having a baby in your forties.

I’m happy not to have to do granny duties at my age!
I see friends of a similar age doing it! Yeah, nope!

Why does enjoying your grandchildren involve ‘granny duties’?

My children see their grandparents on weekends or on family holidays. Maybe 3-4 times per year. My parents travel a lot, they have lots of hobbies and have never had to do any ‘granny duties’. They still adore having and getting to know their grandchildren well.

I’m just enjoying the peace! I’ve had the chaos that comes from three children. I know there will come a time when my eldest two have children and I know my personality lends towards being as supportive and caring as needed, so I’m enjoying the freedom as I don’t have young children to look after. It feels good!

It was almost certainly a baby via IVF then. (And not via a one night stand/a natural conception, as she had you believe.) The chance of a woman falling pregnant at 50 - naturally - and having a healthy baby is infinitesimal. Almost a 100% chance of it NOT happening...

.

Well. She already had 5 children naturally. And the one night stand was with her ex and father of the other 5. So I really think not.

I called it a one night stand because they had split up for quite some time but got drunk and slept together. Bingo. Pregnant at 50. True story whether you choose to believe it or not.

Both mine are ivf 10 years apart. I had my youngest at 44 she is 2 now and it’s exhausting. And you already have 2. Children with your youngest only been 7 if will be full on. I would enjoy what you havs.

Yeah, I really think so....

You are only going on what this woman has told you. A woman falling pregnant at 50, and carrying to term and having a healthy baby, is almost 100% unlikely. UNLESS it was IVF.

You believe it was a natural conception if you want to. If it makes you happy to do so.

Nope not a chance. Love having just 2 and oldest is late teens and younger one is double figures. Can’t think of anything worse, I’m very peri too.
Each to their own, but good lord I would be traumatised.

Well it's absolutely the truth. It's my best friend's sister. She is very Catholic. She kept the child. It happened. But this is the Internet so I do appreciate that there is much untruth here so no way of telling truth from lies.

I’m 20 years younger and have 2dcs 2.5 and 1. I genuinely do not know how I would cope being 45 and having a newborn. I also remember my mum being an ‘old’ mum in the playground she really wasn’t old she had me at 31 but compared to my peers she was older, it really affected me (pathetic now that I look back on it). But do whatever works for your family

I wouldn’t. It’s a roll of the dice every time. You have two healthy children.

I'm sorry but yes the idea that you are an older mum at 31 is pathetic

I have 5 children. When I had my youngest my 4 older ones were 13 - 20 years old. I was 50 (ivf younger embryos). No regrets at all. Pregnancy was easy (birth not great but recovered well). Youngest is now 15 and I’m 65 and it’s not a problem. It’s true I can’t retire as I’ll have to support them through uni, but I don’t mind. I’m healthy and working full time on decent money with no mortgage these days. My youngest is an absolute delight and my age doesn’t bother them and I’m still active. They are close to their siblings.

I agree that nowadays it’s still young but when I was at primary school in the 80’s, my mum was definitely on the older side and she had me at 31. Seems crazy now but it’s true

My Mum was 46 when I was born. There is 12 years between me and my closest sibling - 21 years between me and the eldest! It was fine when I was young but my teenage years were quite hard on my parents. They didn't need the stress tbh and we argued a lot partly because of their outdated attitudes and expectations.
My Dad died when I was in my late 20s. My Mum became a lot frailer after that, and passed away 9 years later. They had both been involved grandparents with my nephews, but I had my own children after my Dad passed away and my Mum was not able to have much of a relationship with them at that point. I do find it sad that they never got to know my parents and now as teens barely remember my Mum.
From a physical point of view, my Mum didn't have an easy pregnancy. She had to give up work fairly early on as they were worried about her blood pressure and i was born via c section over a month early.
Personally I would not want to have a child at that age 🤷‍♀️