What would you think of your son 18 was dating a 21 year old woman ?

[Lastdaysofsummer26]

Happening to a friend of mine son and she’s not feeling too comfortable about it, the 21 year old was previously in. Three yearlong relationship with someone a year or two older then her

Why is this any of your buisness.?

Its the difference between a school leaver and a recent graduate. Its a big difference in life skills and experience.
Im not keen and wouldn't be totally happy if it was my DC.

Hahahah you are such a fucking troll!! I’m reporting this thread!

I don’t understand how he can’t enjoy a lads holiday because he’s seeing a 21 year old?
should he be going round shagging lots of girls on holiday??
I’ve been with my husband since we were 14 we’re now mid 30s.
We both went on a couple of separate lads and lasses holidays as 18 and 20 year olds. Married at 25 and still have separate friends etc.

I would think that he is an adult who is able to date the person of his choice and that a 3 year age gap is nothing.

''He’s a virgin well he was'': it sounds like you and your friend have an unhealthy obsession about this young man's love life and his girlfriend's past and are being incredibly judgemental.

I didn’t take it like that but that sometimes someone mooning over a girlfriend doesn’t participate fully when off with friends. The worry is he’ll be glued to his phone instead.

I am one that doesn’t think 18 and 21 are in the same ballpark. It’s not untoward, just not equally experienced in life.

Particularly because most men are far less mature than women overall.

By the way, I had a boyfriend who was younger and his mum felt the same about me. I overheard her telling my friend, his sister “she’s too mature for Freddy.” I didn’t understand it back then and was really hurt but now I do.

Come to think of it, this happened again later when I was seeing someone 25 and I was about 32. His stepmum tried to set me up with someone else. 😂 She was wrong (he was more worldly and mature). but it was never that serious anyway.

I thought a pedophile was anyone who did anything with someone under the age of 16 not prepubescent. Which is why im saying if someone in their 30s or older fancies an 18 year old they also likely fancy children much younger as someone in my 30s an 18 year old looks like a child to me and I wouldn't look twice at them and see no difference between an 18 year old and a 15 year old

They really do please don't tell me as i assume a fully grown adult you look at an 18 year old and think he's fit

Your first sentence is wrong and shows a complete lack of knowledge about this. These sorts of comments are bandied around all the time and exaggerate the danger of someone who happens to either be in a relationship with a 15 year old, like an 18 year old, or who fancies young adults, because they look like young adults, not because they look like children.

No. A paedophile is someone sexually attracted to prepubescent children. There are specific terms for people attracted to pubescent children, and teenagers under 16, but I can't remember them.

Many sex abusers (including those who commit CSA) are not technically paedophiles as such, just opportunistic predators who will abuse anyone they have access to who is vulnerable, regardless of age.

A relationship with a large age gap can be unwise and problematic for many reasons, but at the age of 18, a person might look any age from 17 to 25.

If they were at uni together- it would be a 3rd year and a first year - nothing to worry about. It’s not illegal by any stretch of the imagination. Is the concern something else eg snobbery towards the girl? Worry that she will dump him for someone else who drives and works?

Im genuinely confused I thought if an adult has a relationship or shares posses images of a child under 16 that is what makes them a pedophile I didn't realise the child had to be prepubescent. How odd ive never heard this before. Prepubescent is like 7 and under

Thankyou for explaining i genuinely just thought it was anything below age of consent

So do you think it’s not true that girls mature faster than boys ?
personally I’m not too sure about that
I think perhaps there’s just more expectations on girls and women to act more mature and more excuses for men

Far too involved in your adult son's sex life. Never mind you're demeaning a 21 year old woman for having a longterm relationship starting at the same adult age.

Because in the wider world, people use the word pedophile, to refer to

• someone who sexually abuses any child
• someone who commits a crime against a child, sexually

People muddle up a criminal offence, with the sexual abberation. As another poster says, not everyone who abuses children is a pedophile. Not all pedophiles abuse children.

A pedophile, commits no crime just by being one. A person commits a crime if they sexually assault someone. A person commits a crime if they sexually abuse a child. A person commits a crime if they share indecent images of children.

When my son was 19 he dated a 22 yr old. I can’t say it would bother me.

I had a boyfriend when I was 21 and he was 18 . We were together for about 2years .
Can never remember thinking anything about the age difference .

Just think unusual and interested in others thoughts if they think the same or different
Certainly don’t think she’s a pervert
or anything just wonder perhaps she’s been hurt or something esp with her wish for someone nice

He’s a nice lad and works full time so does she

Thankyou for correcting me (nicely) I genuinely didn't know and its obviously not the sort of thing you google

Fair enough! I think a lot of people think that, honestly, as it does get used that way a lot.

Sounds entirely normal to me. If he's a nice lad and they get on well and have an attraction between them, with only a very small age difference, then why wouldn't she want to date him?

My flatmate in uni, at 18, dated a student in her third year who was 21. They are married now. Nice couple.

Nothing to do with Demeaning her whatsoever
never said anything negative about her

just pointing out the big difference in
Life experiences

indont think a 3 year gap at say 25 and 28 is anything at all but it’s wider at 18 and 21 and its is unusual to be this way round