What would you think of your son 18 was dating a 21 year old woman ?

[Lastdaysofsummer26]

Happening to a friend of mine son and she’s not feeling too comfortable about it, the 21 year old was previously in. Three yearlong relationship with someone a year or two older then her

This has no relevance at all though. If she had 2 kids already then I think it would.

Any angst over an 18 yo dating a 21yo really shows how much older teens+ are infantalised.

My DSs were definitely more adult like at 18 than childlike but on MN it definitely seems like the other way round in generally. I am actually surprised, based on other threads, that the majority agree that its fine.

Wouldn’t bother me tuppence.
My lovely DDIL is nearly 3 years older than DS, her age has never been relevant or even remotely considered!

Sounds like you and his “mum” are shaming this woman because he’s younger and less mature and she’s basically a slag? Is that right??

probably uncomfortable

My DH is 4 yrs younger than me, I always say there’s no way I’d have dated him when I was in my early twenties, I’d have thought he was a stupid kid, I was far too sophisticated for him, lol. But in reality I don’t think 18/21 is a big deal, if she’s out of a 3yr relationship she’s not a person to jump from relationship to relationship.

It would depend on the woman concerned and also the man.

I waa thinking the same🤔

If I were him, I’d be more concerned that my mum was talking about my virginity with others.

Absolutely nothing. Three years is a totally normal age gap, surely?

Isnt this relevant to every relationship though, regardelss of age? A 3 year age gap is of no concern at all, if my 18 yo was dating a 17 yo who had kids for example that would be more of a concern, or dating someone the same age who was a drug dealer. A 3 yr age gap with someone who merely has a bit more experience really is no problem IMO.

This was me! (except he was 16 when we met).

We were together for 8 years, engaged to be married, bought a house together but drifted apart before we moved in and called the wedding off.

His parents treat me as one of the family, frequently staying over, going on holiday with them etc.

No issues at all.

Good grief how do you know so much especially his sexual experience status?!? I have no friends about which I would have or want this level of info about their adult children.

Amen....!!!

If he’s a university/working 18 I wouldn’t think anything of it. They’re both new adults, only 3 years between them. They’d have been at school at the same time. Completely normal and common pairing the other way around.

If he was still in sixth form I’d find it a touch odd that she wanted to date a schoolgoer but I wouldn’t think it wrong just a little weird.

Nothing.

Well yes she’s 3 years older and her experiences reflect that. Still doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

He's 18 - he can date who he likes over the age on consent - nothing you can do about it!

I did it too, his mum said lots at the time and still talks about it thirty years later - we’re fifty-ish and she still feels it’s wrong 🤣

I was dating an 18 year old lad when I was 22, we were in the same uni class. He was an absolute bellend, but nobody thought anything of the age gap?

Is she the “wrong” star sign ?

Iiterally nothing

How old were you when you met ?

I think you and your friend should mind your own business and stop making this weird.

Maybe tell your friend that her precious baby is an adult and he can make his own decisions.

But how has her age got to do with these things, if they were the same age how would that effect his lads holiday? My dd has been seeing her boyfriend nearly 5 yrs, they’re both 20, her bf has been driving for years, dd can’t drive yet. If in a years time she’s single and gets with a 18yi I’d think he was a lucky man, she’s a bloody anazing woman.

Poster is talking about her child and DIL, not themselves...