What would you think of your son 18 was dating a 21 year old woman ?

[Lastdaysofsummer26]

Happening to a friend of mine son and she’s not feeling too comfortable about it, the 21 year old was previously in. Three yearlong relationship with someone a year or two older then her

Do you know all your friends' adult children so well?

Or just this guy?

21 year old is a proper adult. Have you met many 21 year olds.

They can. They do.

My experience via brothers and cousins is that shagging randos on holiday when pissed with their mates is that judgement and safe sex are not exactly the norm.

Shagging for fun doesn't only mean grabbing the nearest warm body you'd not recognise in daylight.

And presumably the 18 year old and 21 year old are having a fine old time of it themselves. At the very least he'll be a better shag having slept with someone who knows what they are doing.

Sounds like it's about time he grows up

It's a bit odd to be so invested in your friend's adult son's relationships.

I wouldn’t think anything. It’s 3 years.

What’s the problem if they are in a committed relationship and don’t? Why do they have to?

Yes and they are proper adults compared to an 18yo who these days still act like school kids.

I think there’s aasdive difference in the maturity of an 18yo vs 21yo - although I don’t think this has to be a bad thing.

I would not be happy about it but if he is 18 he is an adult so it’s his choice

Good grief. That's just a total lack of boundaries on your friends part.

3 year gap is nothing in this case and your friend seems overly involved.

Not a huge gap at all. I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 23. Yeah, we got a few raised eyebrows from friends and family at first but we hardly notice it now i'm 39 and he is 44. It's more important the their stage of life matches. My husband and i met when we were both with 1st year uni students, it didn't matter that he was a mature student and I straight out of school.

My money the 'friend' is mum because she seems to know a bit too much about the people involved.

It’s fine. They are both similar in age.

I think a 3-4 year age gap for young adults eg they could be uni flatmates is absolutely fine.

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. It’s their choice. He can still enjoy his friendships and go on holiday without her. It’s only 3 years they are young it probably won’t last.

Lucky Lad! He is going to Learn fast!

How do you know such specific and intimate details??

It’s a tiny age gap. What’s the problem?

Agree, I’d much rather my DS was in a relationship than shagging as many random women as possible in Ibiza.

FWIW my DS dated a 23 year old when he was 18. My other kids were horrified, his older brother talked about the girl having ‘groomed’ him and couldn’t believe I was so nonchalant about it. To me they were both young adults, both lived at home with parents, both worked (they met at work) so were peers in most senses.

DD is now 19 and dating a 23 year old boy (technically ‘man’ I guess!) but he comes across as very similar to her in many ways. They met at work, so again, peers as far as I’m concerned. Clearly my kiddos just like them a bit older!

I dated a 30 year old man when I was at uni but he was there doing his phd so it didn’t feel odd, we were both living in halls, studying, hanging out with the same people of all ages from 19-30, so maybe my perception of age gaps is warped anyway!

Why are you thinking about these people so much? The man's mother has no business discussing his dating and sex life with anyone, that's really weird and gross.

Yeah. I feel pretty inadequate as a parent a lot of the time, and then I read stuff like this.

It’s a fairly normal age gap in an adult relationship

Gross.

My DS who is 24 is currently dating a 21 year old. It's only 3 years difference. In fact, when I started to date my DH, he was 20 and I was 23.