Partners daughter wake up time

[Missthe1975]

Just wondering if this is normal? I’ve lived with my partner for just over 3 months but we’ve been together 3 years. He has an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. He shares contact with his ex and has his daughter approx 35% of the time. Since we moved in together and she has stayed over I’ve noticed she wakes at around 6am and takes herself downstairs to watch TV and he gets up with her about 9am on weekends and in the school holidays. When she gets up she is generally quiet but there are some mornings when she sings around the house and it wakes me up or my daughter (15). I feel like leaving her alone for 3 hours is a long time and I’ve communicated this to him. He said he would change and start getting up with her but I’ve noticed this week she’s now back with us and it’s been 9am every morning since Monday that he’s got up with her. I always got up when my daughter was this age. Is this simply differing parenting styles?

Well the OP never said if either of them (her or partner) actually told her "no singing in the morning" which is all that needed to be said.

She's old enough to get up and watch tv alone . You just need to tell her to be quiet and not wake everyone up . She doesn't need looking after at 8 .

If her being there is a problem for you maybe you shouldnt live together .

I feel sorry for the kids in this situation, being sent to a place where theyre not welcome .

Can’t believe how many people here think it’s fine for parents to just leave an eight-year-old to entertain themselves for three hours every weekend morning! I’m sure they can cope but “coping” is hardly the standard I would want for my child!

I mean to be fair she’s sitting in the living room watching tv and eating cereal.

I think back to my childhood and I would have been perfectly fine at that age.
The things I did (build Lego, play with my mini animals, play with my Sindy dolls) didn't need adult help with - nor would I have wanted it.
I also could watch TV or read by myself.
8 year olds aren't toddlers.

It’s not even just the weekend. He has her for 14 days and he’s expecting her to be on her own for 3 hours every morning.

I can't believe how many people are missing that this little girl is in a house she doesn't normally live in, with people she doesn't normally live with, and they compare it to their own kids who are a lot more settled than this child. 3 hours every morning for 2 weeks is big chunk of the time her dad should have been spending with her.

Unless there are very specific reasons for his seemingly extreme tiredness, I would expect him to be up with her no later than 07:30. A man repeatedly lying in bed every weekend until 9am would give me the ick.

I think he’s hoping you will cave and get up with her so he can laze about.

Just read some of your updates. I would honestly get him to fuck.

Before you know it, you and your DD will be walking on eggshells and afraid to make any normal noise in case it disturbs him.

He can take his “anxiety” back to his own flat. He’s another cocklodger looking for a built in babysitter. I wonder why his ex despises him. Is she a “psycho” by any chance?

It’s not just the weekends, it’s every day in the summer.

Even better. I would suggest he get his bloods checked. It’s honestly grim what some women put up with just to have a “man” in their lives.

I don't see an issue with 8yo entertaining themselves for a few hours and sorting out their own breakfast.

But all the other stuff is worrying. Like him being anxious of having his own child at his own home? I'm also unclear what he expects your role to be with his daughter.

My kids wake up at 6. Obviously when they were really little one of us would get up with them but now they're perfectly capable of making cereal and watching TV until we're up. And they are happy with the arrangement. They'll build forts and play with toys. They are good kids and are rule followers so we don't need to worry much.

That’s great but they’re together and in a familiar house. This poor little love is supposed to be spending 2 weeks with her DF and he can’t even be bothered to get out of bed to check that she’s ok.

Lucky they’ve got each other to play with, rather than the child in question who is being left by herself!

This. And do not do it.

This is valid too.

Depends on the kids this would be my youngest idea of heaven
oldest he’d of lasted 40 minutes tops

Nah i would bet money on him spending hours laying in the sun snoring while his daughter entertained herself in the garden. The 3 photos were just to try pretend he’d spent lots of time interacting and playing with her.