Am I the only one?

[SpiritualLife]

I'm at that age. The age where people forget you exist. Men don't look at me when I pass by. No one lusts after me. I'm just another middle age woman. Desperate to be seen. Wanted. Desired.
Desperate for someone to see the beauty that used to be obvious. Desperate to have moments of passion.
Tragically invisible. Like a ghost but still living.

Oh I wish I felt like this. I think this is an amazing post.

Please learn to love yourself, this isn’t healthy how you have been raised. Why let your existent be around men and what they think about you?

So you were like a sex bomb or something? Because it’s not my experience and I’m not ugly, I tend to ignore people in the street, don’t even look at them so I suppose they don’t look at me too? I think when you’re middle aged people treat you more seriously and you can make some good friendships, when you’re young it feels more superficial from my experience.

It's a relief to be invisible since I'm much older now. I can travel solo without any slimy chat up chancers, and as an older woman people are very kind and thoughtful if I ask directions/a question and so on.

As for day to day life, it's great, I hanker after very little these days, just good health to continue as long as it can 😊

Middle age and menopause hits us all, it's a shock but also very liberating.

Embrace it and enjoy the DGAF-ness 😌

I was rather relieved when men stopped looking at me like that.

I’ve never felt the way you do, OP. Im 68 and I am far more comfortable with myself and confident in my appearance than Ive ever been. I think I probably look better now than I did in my late 30s and early 40s when I was too frazzled with bringing up our daughter, renovating our house, and always being very worried about money and didn’t look after myself. Now that's all in the past and Im fortunate thst I don’t have financial worried at the moment and can treat myself now and again. I’ve never felt invisible at any point in my life, and can honestly say that Ive never been bored at any time since as far back as I can remember - I think life is wonderful most of the time and even when terrible things happen, they pass with time. I still get attention from men now and again, which always gives me a little lift, and Ive got more friends now than at any point in my life. I think my perspective on life changed a bit after I had cancer, and I try to enjoy every day.

It’s when you don’t actually notice whether men notice you or not, because you don’t need validation that you’re beautiful, you’ve cracked the secret of what really matters.

I felt invisible for years to all men except my husband, who always saw the beauty within above everything else. I've recently lost 6 stone and, at 47, I look better than I did at 37. I didn't expect people - especially men - to treat me so differently.

It's nice to feel noticed, but it's also a stark reminder of how superficial so much attraction can be. I'm the same woman I was before; the only thing that's really changed is what people see when they look at me.

I absolutely love that men no longer bother me. It’s hugely liberating.

Wise words indeed

The original post reads like a misogynist’s fantasy of how middle aged women should feel when they reach middle age. I wish I looked the way I did when I was 23 but “a ghost”? Come on!

Why are you 'desperate' to be seen? Why is your self worth tied to how men see you? Looks really shouldn't matter, we are so much more than how we look.

I don't think age has anything to do with it though. The people leering at you just get older!! I am sick to death of dirty old men leering at my legs and breasts this summer. Some disgusting old man was blatantly staring at me, talking to his mate in Welsh this morning. Can't understand Welsh, but it was obvious he was talking about me from his non verbals and staring at me directly, and looking me up and down. Or the men trying to talk to you like you are there for their entertainment. I love chatting to randoms (of any age or gender) but not dirty old men who are trying to chat you up or just want to look at you. Sick of dirty old men stopping and staring. Why do they think it's ok to do that? I would gladly be less visible if it stops unwanted attention.

I am 50 so definitely middle aged!

What age are you at?

.

Do we have a menopause troll?

Tbh after years of sexual harassment/assault in the 80’s/90’s I was quite happy when it suddenly stopped in my late thirties.

I’d like to not be fat, middle-aged with a melting jowly face & witchy hair, but I am… Luckily I have no wish to be desired by anyone! I do have fond memories of my youthful hotness though. Not that I knew it then.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5385266-fed-up-with-male-comments?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

My thread from last year. Thankfully that was an intense season, but it still happens.

Nothing tragic about being invisible. Best thing ever!!!!!!! Embrace it as your superpower 😆

Well, you've done a great vanishing act

What a sad opening post 😞

I'm in my early 50s and still get looked at and attention from men. I'm not sure exactly when it ends. I don't think I'm anything special either. What I am is more self assured than when I was younger. I think I have a lot more to offer overall. That probably comes across? I also have no interest.

You misunderstood. I wasn’t talking about sex with someone versus masturbation.

If someone values passion in their life then great but that is something that they can’t have on their own, they need someone of a similar mindset who presumably finds them attractive.

But friendships aren’t about whether someone is physically attractive.

The OP was about feeling worthless when their looks fade. If you have been attractive then perhaps it matters to you when that happens.

I think it’s a shame when women value themselves on how others see them physically. I have seen it in real life. I think over emphasis on whether you are ‘beautiful’ is sad because it’s almost guaranteed to be something that changes as you age.