When you go to a restaurant with your adult children who pays the bill?

[chroniclesofj]

My Children want to contribute but I never let them. Sometimes my mum pays

Ex mil aways insisted on paying and then complained about having no money.

we split with my family.

I always try and pay for my adult children and their families (although sometimes they sneak up to pay first) my reasoning is that I like to see them enjoying the money I have and to share it with them whilst I’m here rather than leaving it to them when I’m dead!!

My mum’s similar. For her not even to offer (we‘d turn her down) gets slightly embarrassing. The same if we’re in the pub together.

This!
DC do offer but I will never accept.

My parents pay and I’ll pay my kids, better the money goes in the hand of the local restaurant now than the taxman in 10 years.

My dad always wants to pay. My sister or I try and get there first.

I think this depends on comparative income and who does the inviting and chooses the venue and attendees. There isn't a right answer.

My parents have a high disposable income and like expensive but traditional restaurants and can't resist inviting the entire extended family. The bill can easily be £500 and they pay it. I can't easily afford to pay that for a meal, and it doesn't help that for me and my own nuclear family attending those meals is more a duty than a pleasure.

I'd happily pay for just my parents and my own family at a venue of my choice, but that is a rare option - and I have to go and pay on the way back from the loo as if the bill comes to the table my dad will pay.

If we take our own young adult and teen children out we pay of course.

Only one of my children is working full time and she does sometimes say she wants to pay if just she and I go out, and if she says that then I let her and find it really sweet, but I usually try to just pay before she says that.

My teenage son paid for a meal for me once - he had said in advance he wanted to and of course he chose the venue and therefore the budget, but he only has a part time job so I would very much never expect it. It was a one off for a special reason.

Oh yes! I take both adult DC away each year on holiday and pay for everything. I also pay for each of them to go on holiday with their mates or DP each year.

I am not wealthy but I live very simply and prioritise my DC.

I didn't realise people did this. My family always just pay for their own.

Depends who has the most money.

Ours is different each time so there’s no expectation for birthdays / Christmas my parents pay for all of us. If it’s just a random dinner we split the bill but my parents usually pay the drinks bill separately or pay 50% off the bill and then we just split the rest. They always throw something in. We don’t expect it and it is very very appreciated

How would you know this?

I’m an adult child! My parents always pay for meals, but we take turns if it’s coffee/ice cream etc. They’d disown us for bill splitting

We always pay for MIL, and in bigger groups with BIL’s family etc we used to always pay but now are starting to split bills or take turns

I let them pay on Mother’s Day, but otherwise I usually pay.

DD and I often go for coffee/tea & cake, and we take turns to pay.

When out as a family with DD and her partner, DH usually pays but that is generally because it was our suggestion that we went out for a meal anyway. Neither of them earn much, so we treat them.

DS only 16 but I can’t imagine expecting him to pay…if he can/does at some point it would be nice but I’d not expect it.

While DF was working, he always paid, now we split the bill. DM has insisted we pay for her once we were employed (she also worked and was paid more than me until I was 35).

My DD lives with me. We both sneakily try to pay the bill so that the other person can't. I usually lose. Sometimes I put my foot down and get firm with her. Same with DS, but he doesn't live with us so he uses 'but I never see you' privilege so he gets to pay.

My parents always insist on the grounds that it’s coming to us eventually and if their house jumps in value again and no care is required, money through the will might be taxed. So they don’t want us to cascade money towards them.

obviously that might change if one of them requires care and disposable income goes down, but for now I make a token offer then let them pay.

I pay for my adult daughter as I am better off.
When I go out with my mum we usually take it in turns or go halves. I will pay birthdays / Mother’s Day etc

We do and my mum pays for us when we go out

Once I graduated and had a job (30 years ago) I paid each and every time for my parents and was happy to do so. They weren't poor either.

We pay for our adult children. We are also on holiday with said children which we paid for. They treat us well on our birthdays and Mother’s/Father’s Day even though we don’t want anything.
We also pay for my mum and dh mum when we go for dinner.

However in the past my parents have paid for our dinners and holidays. Now we do as we ca afford it. Dh parents meet pad for anything for us but did have us over a lot for dinner at their house.

Shameless boast that also kind of answers the Q incoming - my DS (17), other DS and me went for a coffee and food the other day. DS17 quietly positioned himself in front of me at the till and got his card out to pay for us all 😭 I didnt let him obviously, so I reckon we'll be a take it in turns family when we get to that stage 🤗

I pay for my adult DS and his GF when we go out for meals. They’re both still at Uni and DS saves his part time summer job income to spend on essentials in term time.
GF’s family have paid to take him on holiday abroad with them every year, so me paying for her meals when we go out is the least I can do.
However he always pays to take me out on Mother’s Day and if we go out for a coffee he will often go and order/pay if it’s a smaller amount. If we go out for drinks, I’ll get the first round and he often gets the next.
But anything more expensive I’d rather cover until they’ve both graduated and are in a better financial position.
When I was their age and with his DF, his parents always paid for us until we finished uni.