Husband is ruining our honeymoon getting drunk …

[inkyspells]

Today is our first proper day here
We are in Mexico
He doesn’t listen to Any sort of advice or seem to have any common sense.
Anyway he started drinking at 9am this morning in the drink up pool.
Whiskey /cocktails and shorts but no water or soft drinks.
He was with a couple,and let me go for lunch alone as he was drinking with them.
We had plans to watch the England match ,he didn’t even come to the room to get his England shirt -just drank with this random couple.
I went to meet him at 3pm and it’s now just after 4 and he can’t stand ,being sick ,dizzy and still won’t drink water .
I have put him into bed
In going out to the beach and grab some Food soon I think.
Im honestly so sad and feel really alone
Am I being ott or would you be sad too ?

He is drunk and you are writing on mumsnet on your honeymoon. Not a good start. You need to tell him you wont stand for it and it needs to be a one off or he will be like it all through your marriage.

My ex did this - we weren’t married and he’s not DD’s dad, we were on an all inclusive ‘family’ holiday and he spent the week with a load of single lads getting drunk. On the last day (to avoid any tension with DD(5) around) I told him the relationship was over. I moved out and relocated 2 weeks later - best decision I ever made. He was a functioning alcoholic and I couldn’t imagine my life looking that way forever - that was 11 months ago and DD and I are really happy and I don’t have to deal with a constantly hungover loser anymore. This is your future OP, not just a honeymoon.

How is it ridiculous? Non consummation of a marriage is grounds for an annulment

This is what my husband did on my honeymoon. The marriage didn’t even last 3 years. Still managed to have 2 kids. He was an appalling human altogether. Beautiful kids though.

My ex did something similar when we were in Mexico. got so drunk on the second day, then slipped coming down stairs and didn’t try and break his fall as so drunk and he broke his nose. Hotel security then almost called police as he was lashing out so much at the health team trying to help him. Couldn’t do any of the planned water sports the rest of the holiday, so I left him on his own and did them anyway. We flew home and broke up pretty much at the airport

I hope you’re planning to leave him. This is a little peephole into your future with him. It’s just in holidays at the moment, then it’ll be high days and holidays. You’re married to a problem drinker and that’s not going to change, and you’re a fool if you believe him when he tells you otherwise.

Don’t do anything! If he doesn’t want to drink water, let him wake up a dehydrated mess feeling shit.

Assuming you’re not going to end the relationship
fo not start your married life running round after him.

He’s an adult.

You married him 😔

I wouldn't be helping him. Go out and enjoy yourself as much as you can. If he doesn't come grovelling and make it up to you then I'd be having a think about the relationship. But try and avoid him and enjoy yourself, you're already there now.

Nope sorry. A person who drinks themselves into oblivion on the first day of their honeymoon, who starts drinking at 9am is an alcoholic. I was married to a man like this and my honeymoon was not unlike this. Its took me nine years to get out.

Its utter hell and it won’t get better. The OP is basically facing a lifetime of being scared, frustrated and humiliated by his behaviour and, if they have children, terrified of the impact his drinking will have on them.

In a way OP he has done you a favour by doing this in such an extreme way. Its very clear and unambiguous that he’s an alcoholic.

Get out now before its too late. It will be awkward telling people you have split after a few days but far better than throwing your life away.

I wasn't and I really, really should have been. Having already glossed over various red flags, I finally saw the mistake I'd made on our wedding day. It wasn't that he was worse than before, it was that he wasn't even prepared to give a shit about my feelings at our flaming wedding reception.

I stuck it out for 18 months. It was awful. The aftermath literally ruined my life, there's no getting back what I stupidly gave away.

@inkyspells, you are seeing what you're seeing. Time to stop kidding yourself and quit. Forgive yourself, we all do stupid things for love & optimism. What's less forgivable is doing the stupid thing over and over.

Can you get the marriage annulled as soon as you get home? That would be my thinking.

Ugh this honestly makes me feel a bit sick for you OP… my exH used to do things like this - although even he didn’t do it on the honeymoon! - and it made me feel so lonely.
if your new H has loads of other genuinely great holidays, then simply don’t do all inclusive ever again.

But take a long hard look at your relationship before you have kids, maybe with couples and/or individual counselling. I managed to divorce pre-kids and never look back, now remarried to a thoughtful and kind man who would never dream of doing anything like this. My exH is just another ex. The second you have a child, it becomes a million times more complicated.

This!

Bless you - if he has form for this you are really stupid for marrying him. If not Is be planning for separation in the future. Selfish prick.

And don’t try to make him drink water. He’s not a child. That parent-child dynamic absolutely destroys attraction.

Let him sleep off the hangover and then attempt to have a serious conversation about it.

Sorry to read this.
But there must have been warning signs???
So question is why marry him??

Divorce on return.
He will not change

How long together? Are you both very young? Do you have children? Honestly OP this is very bad. He not only has a problem with alcohol he also doesn't seem to respect you at all. This is your honeymoon, he should be treating you like a queen. You need to be seriously planning your escape from this relationship.

You have a very clear picture of your future, what you do next impacts the rest of your short life.
Make the right decision.

He’s a twat but it’s your first day so the holiday is not ruined

once he recovers, warn him to grow up and have a nice time

You could understand it if he had a couple of cocktails in the afternoon and didn’t know their strength but he’s got up and decided to start drinking at 9am. You also say he’s done this previously on holiday. Don’t mother him as others have said, this is his own doing and he’ll no doubt get up as rough as hell. He’s ready wasted a day of your honeymoon and he sounds a selfish git ignoring you to drink with a couple of randomers and leave you to for lunch on your own - what a charmer. You need to be having a serious conversation when he sobers up and really consider your future with this man if drinking to excess is a regular thing with him. My ex was a functioning alcoholic and it’s no life.

Come on people

we do not LTB if they get drunk on the first day of all
inc. Even if it is your honeymoon

we all make mistakes. If you think he’s an alcoholic, that is something to think about

If he’s just an idiot well, most men are!

he is going to feel like crap today. Hopefully he reins in for the rest of your holiday

What do I do ? Do I just let him sleep it off?

leave water beside his bed and go off and get yourself something to eat

I'd not have any sympathy or give him any advice on his drinking habits. It's a waste of breath, so just leave that part - often silence is far louder anyway.

book yourself an excursion, read your book by the pool and relax

Leave him to it, and stop caring about his wellbeing (unless he needs an ambulance or something that's a serious threat to his health), go out and enjoy your holiday as you want to. Divorce him when you get home.