What's the worst hospitality you've ever had?

[Arniesaxe]

Not a TAAT but I was on a thread recently where a lot of people were saying they wouldn't expect any snacks, if they'd visited a friend for the afternoon 90 mins drive away, and that just one cup of tea would be sufficient. Many disagreed, saying that if they were the host they'd have at least biscuits/cake or savoury snacks and plentiful drinks for their guests.

I have a very recent example where I travelled for around 40 minutes to visit a friend who was having a gathering and me and other guest I'd come with were not even offered a drink at all! It was fine, I was obviously driving and other guest I brought doesn't drink alcohol but even a glass of water would've been more considerate than nothing at all.

Also I once visited friends in order to go out for the day for food/drinks/trip around the town. Planned to stay over as longish drive and we'd likely have wine with dinner. When I got there, they'd changed their minds and decided to just stay in, watch TV and drink wine. I love wine, but sitting about at home drinking it in the middle of the afternoon is not my idea of fun and I wouldn't have visited them had I known that was their plan, not my thing at all. That was also about an hour and a half's drive. It really affected our friendship.

I am the opposite, anyone visiting even to drop something off or such will at least be offered a tea/coffee even if they're only coming in for five minutes. If I have guests I make sure I have what they want and I fulfil expectations with very little exception. If I am having a proper gathering I try to cover all eventualities, I'd rather have ample leftovers than anyone leave my house hungry/cold/sober thirsty!

This is very odd. I would spend hours wondering about the whole thing!

Travelled 45 minutes on the tube in freezing weather because friends had invited us for dinner. We had taken quite an expensive wine to have with the meal. We were presented with bacon and egg ! One slice of bacon each. They glugged most of our wine and didn’t produce another bottle. That was it , nothing else offered.
We left early and went for dinner at our local pub. We had always been generous hosts when they came to us.

My now husband and I were meeting his brother and girlfriend for a picnic and she had insisted that this time she would bring the food (they didn't have much money and we usually had them round). We turned up at their flat Sunday lunchtime to pick them up, as agreed, and they were both still asleep! And no picnic food had been bought. She made egg sandwiches. That was it. Nothing else. And I can't eat egg- makes me gag. I still don't know if she was being passive aggressive or genuinely was hopelessly organised.

My Hisband and I and our three children ( about 6,8 and 10 ) were invited to his brother and SILs for Sunday lunch . In our culture this is usually a large meal with chicken / meat joint , veg, roast potatoes.

They live about 2 hours drive from us so our children were pretty hungry when we arrived about noon , so say 4 hours after breakfast. We say there and nothing happened. My husband asked if the children could have a drink and they were given very small glasses of juice.

Still nothing happened. Eventually SIL brought through a platter of sandwiches , about the size of a large dinner plate . I thought this was perhaps to keep the children going while lunch cooked. But no.

She then explained that the sandwiches at one side of this plate were for the children and the other side ( with different fillings) was for us. This was in fact lunch - just one large plate of sandwiches shared between the 7 of us.

I was just about passing out with hunger by the time we were able to leave and do a quick detour into the nearest town to find some food. Then of course a two hour drive home .

Ive had rude guests before. My first husband had a habit of inviting randoms home. I hated this as my DS was a baby and I could do without strangers in my house.
He picked these two up from the station. They were looking for a cheap hotel to spend the night in and would be off in the morning.
I was pissed off but being very young didnt know what to do so I spent a couple of hours cooking dinner with all the food I had in the fridge.
It was obvious I was cooking meat as you could smell it. I invited everyone to the table and both randoms said havent you got anything else we're vegetarians, if that was now they would be leaving immediately at the end of my boot but back then i was just mystified by this behaviour. My ex husband just sat there likd a big dummy.

He might have told them you were a guest house that did evening meal ?

I would have gagged too. That's awful. I think I'd have done a detour to the nearest supermarket.

Honestly! What is wrong with people? To not offer a cold drink or even a glass of water!!

I have many examples I could mention. The worst was - a 'friend' was getting married and asked me to drive the maid of honour to the wedding rehearsal on a Friday evening (Wedding was the next day). MoH does not drive and rehearsal was a 2 hour drive away. Bridezilla asked if I could leave work early to ensure I was not late but I couldn't - I said I would do my best to get there on time. Left work promptly at 5pm, drove for 2 hours to get to rehearsal. Sat in rehearsal for 1 hour. After rehearsal, Mother of Bride said to me "Do come back to the house for a bite to eat". Bridezilla replied "Oh no mum - it's just the bridal party coming back". I left to get my own at a service station. I attended the wedding the next day but have kept my distance since!!

I went to stay at a new friends house overnight. She had been really looking forward to me staying, and I'm not very good at sleeping at people's homes, but off I went.

She also had two kids who were bloody nightmares, but that's another story.

I needed to go for a poo after our pizza dinner, and it was then that I realised there was only one toilet in the house, which I found really mortifying. I have a shy bum. But, I had to go. So off I went to find no lock on the door - which freaked me out, but there was no stopping this train. So I sat down, did what I needed to do with one foot pressed up against the door, looked for the loo roll and there wasn't any. None. I really didn't know what to do.

I ended up having to wash my bum in the bath a bit and go back downstairs. If I had known her better I would have yelled down the stairs for some toilet paper - but I didn't, so I didn't say a word.

It's stuck with me, 30yrs down the line, and if I have any visitors to my house I make sure the loo roll holders are always full and that there are plenty of spares in the toilet.

Wtaf is wrong with people 🤦🏻‍♀️That must've been awful

After a horrendous 12 hour shift I babysat for a friend. They lived around the corner from my work.
They had no family so no opportunity for a break to go to quiz night at the pub around the corner.

Arrived, disheveled from horrific shift. Hadn’t eaten or drank all day, had no time.
Chatted with friend & her dh about my shift from hell as they each tucked into a Domino’s pizza, closed the box on the crusts left, placed the boxes onto the floor of the living room, stepped over them then went to quiz night.
Not even a drink offered.
Never volunteered to babysit for them again.

We went away camping, long weekend, with our van and the 2 kids for their hobby, think large organised event, Friday to Tuesday.

Fil never interested in our kids or us but decided for some reason he would join us. Lovely!

Turned up with his tent and kit. Grand!

Handed me 2 cans of Diet Coke. “Could I trouble you to put these in your fridge”…

That was it. 2 cans of Diet Coke for himself for the entire long weekend.
Luckily we brought loads of food & drink, enough to feed everyone including him.

🤣

I have had situations like this when I was younger, and now I have a reputation for going over the top with explaining things to people. Everyone who knows me well says I over organise and over-plan. But it is borne of things like this! Some people just do not think!

Not hospitality related but, I once was seeing someone who had two dogs. I have one dog, and although they were okay together we weren't confident in leaving them alone together yet, and they could have little growls at one another if together in a confine space.

One evening we were going to a pub for a couple of hours, taking my DP's dogs with us, having agreed with my parents (whose house was on the way, 5 mins from pub) to have my dog just while we were there. Parents both are dog-lovers. As we dropped my dog off, my parents invited us to come for a drink on our way back.

So we leave dog, go to pub, come back and arrive at parent's house, walk in all happy to see them and my Dad has a face like thunder as he 'Didn't expect us to have DP's dogs with us'.

What the hell? The whole purpose of them even having involvement with our evening was because we had DP's dogs there. How could he possibly think we wouldn't? We rapidly left and the next day they had no explanation for how they had planned for us to come for a drink but that her dogs would have had to disappear into thin air first, or why they neglected to tell us this.

Just an example. People do not think things through at all, and I have become very irritating with my over-explaining of ever plan regardless of how trivial it is, as a result! In the case of the caravan/food thing, I'd have asked about if he was sharing our food, if he was contributing, what kind of things he'd be bringing etc etc just as a precaution! I've seen people turn up for days out very inappropriately dressed, turn up to picnics with no food thinking they could buy something while there (on a riverbank!) people invite me for dinner and not have any food in, etc etc

Went to stay in a very basic house in a rural area, owned by family members. The first day we were made to feel unwelcome and they made it clear that they had chores and gardening to do so we would have to amuse ourselves. In the middle of nowhere, with three children.

We’d been there the following year and they had spent the whole time with us - days out, boating, hiking etc.

They also made it clear they wouldn’t provide food, fine but could they not have told us that in advance? The nearest shop was miles away and they had a tiny kitchen with a complicated range oven. They made their own breakfast and sat and ate it in front of us.

One night I caught him sneaking out of the kitchen trying not to make a noise, closing door quietly behind him, holding a plate piled high with steaming food. He didn’t know I was there and then panicked and said “Oh you wouldn’t like this food”.

We took the kids to the nearest McDonalds and went home the next day.

Do you mean you'd been there the previous year? This sounds awful. Had someone told them something untoward about you or something? Still they should haev cancelled if they couldn't at least pretend they were happy to have guests.

I wonder if for some reason they thought you had taken the piss the previous year- even if you didn’t you would be suprised how some people decide these things totally illogically - however if that was the case they should have told you in advance to bring food or just not invited you - did they invite you rather than you invited yourselves??

I have never once Asan adult even when pretty skint at times not been in a position to cook someone a reasonable meal if needed, offer juice, beer, tea or coffee -I’m always amazed how some live - and they aren’t always poor either.

They definitely invited us, and were very keen for us to visit. My best guess is that on the first visit they hadn’t long moved in and they were happy for the company, plus the area was new to them so they wanted to be out and about exploring with us.

One year later, I actually think they had got used to the seclusion and we were a bit of a shock to the system.

The food thing is weird though, I can’t explain that.

Yep that’s all really odd and bloody rude too - I wonder if all that seclusion had warped their sense of hospitality

My parents live in deepest darkest Cornwall. At those points they lived in a mobile home with 2 bedrooms- one for them and one for their dog. They also had a caravanette with 4 beds.

we bought a tent and add ons to go visit them. We asked them to help us find a suitable campsite near them to stay at. My mum said it was too difficult and they had no idea so we found one ourselves, online.

Goonhavern doesn’t advertise its on the top of a fucking cliff and is a long very sloping field. We struggled to put the tent up, and mum and dad finally helped us. We did a rubbish bbq and retired to ‘sleep’.

the next day they lent us their portable chemical loo and went back to their home (they stayed on the site next to us for one night).

That day the weather turned and it was torrential rain and wind, They didn’t offer our very young at the time DDs somewhere to sleep or even the caravanette now parked outside their home empty.

We have not seen them in person since then.

Can’t say I blame you. They sound a bit like mine.

What a truly horrible pair - did you ask them why?

@Crikeyalmighty basically as a protest to my:

Marrying a foreigner
Having a career not a ‘normal job like the girls you went to school with’
Not living near them due to the above career
Not stopping career when I had children
Top of the list was daring to look into my birth history (I’m adopted).

I didn’t book to go and see them on my own a few years ago. Booked an AirBnB, flight. She called me at 5am to tell me not to come. Said Dad was very ill. Couple of months later she said it was because ‘you’re too much’.

Quick fortnightly calls avoiding anything of meaning - I haven’t got the strength to go NC as it makes me feel like an orphan x 2. It’s very sad. They’re down there with only my brother going to see them. Mum has fallen out with all relatives. My Dad has Parkinson’s now, I’d love to see him while he’s alive but I don’t think it will happen.

@Bunnyfuller1 that’s all so sad and silly on their part - I totally get you - have been NC with my mother for 20 years - and she’s never once made the effort to get in touch with me - o made the effort twice and then stopped- she’s a really odd woman and married someone a lot younger second time - and it kind of all went downhill from there