What's the worst hospitality you've ever had?

[Arniesaxe]

Not a TAAT but I was on a thread recently where a lot of people were saying they wouldn't expect any snacks, if they'd visited a friend for the afternoon 90 mins drive away, and that just one cup of tea would be sufficient. Many disagreed, saying that if they were the host they'd have at least biscuits/cake or savoury snacks and plentiful drinks for their guests.

I have a very recent example where I travelled for around 40 minutes to visit a friend who was having a gathering and me and other guest I'd come with were not even offered a drink at all! It was fine, I was obviously driving and other guest I brought doesn't drink alcohol but even a glass of water would've been more considerate than nothing at all.

Also I once visited friends in order to go out for the day for food/drinks/trip around the town. Planned to stay over as longish drive and we'd likely have wine with dinner. When I got there, they'd changed their minds and decided to just stay in, watch TV and drink wine. I love wine, but sitting about at home drinking it in the middle of the afternoon is not my idea of fun and I wouldn't have visited them had I known that was their plan, not my thing at all. That was also about an hour and a half's drive. It really affected our friendship.

I am the opposite, anyone visiting even to drop something off or such will at least be offered a tea/coffee even if they're only coming in for five minutes. If I have guests I make sure I have what they want and I fulfil expectations with very little exception. If I am having a proper gathering I try to cover all eventualities, I'd rather have ample leftovers than anyone leave my house hungry/cold/sober thirsty!

A little different, but we took our In laws on holiday with us. We set off and did a 4 hour detour to be able to collect them en route, and to get to our destination. After setting off at 6am and collecting them at 8.30am we suggested stopping at a little cafe for brunch at around 11am. We told them we'd let them know 20 minutes before getting there, but to let us know if they needed to stop beforehand for a toilet break.
With 20 minutes until cafe stop, we told them we were stopping as agreed.
At this point I heard 'Ooh food time' to which
they proceeded to get out their pre-prepared sandwiches and eat them on the back seat of the car..... nothing for us...just them.
I was bloody fuming.
We got out at said cafe and I proceeded to order a full English breakfast with extra toast and scoff the lot. It took quite a bit of effort but I was determined to finish it FiL just sat drooling ( he was absolutely gutted to miss out) and MIL tutted.
We paid for a cup of tea for them and went on our journey.
Tight wads 🤣

I don’t drink in the day - even on holiday- so would have felt similar

I don't know if you're similar but if I don't carefully manage it I just end up with a massive headache, and then a hangover early evening or later afternoon (depending on timings)!

For an event like a festival or holiday or wedding I make sure I intersperse alcohol with water, keep hydrated and make sure I have eaten, I can manage it for the sake of celebrations or a nice level of tipsy and some nice champagne or such. But I'd never choose to just flop around on the sofa drinking wine during the day when there's so many better things to do! And I've known these friends a long time, they are aware of this. We go to a bit festival every year where I drink nowhere near as much as them and stick to low-alcohol drinks. It just made me feel totally unconsidered and unimportant that they didn't even think to send me a message to advise of the change of plan, especially as it isn't as if they're neighbours!

Anyway, I've ranted enough about that now 😆

Yep I just feel a bit dopey, disinterested in doing anything and often get a headache if I drink in daytime - I do it at weddings or the odd business event - but pretty rarely. Yabu - I would have been well pissed off too . Nothing worse for me than sat around seeing others get drunk - I hate Xmas day if it’s like this too - I have one at lunch, one at dinner time( around 5pm) and maybe 1 possibly 2 in the evening.

Some time back, I was around this work colleague's house.

At work, she knew 1000% I absolutely hate any type of coffee in every way, including in food; I refuse point-blank to touch it for anyone or any reason, so when she invited me around, she said ''I'll make you a coffee''.

I politely replied no thank you as I don't like coffee, but could I please have tea?.

She snapped at me brutally ''I don't have that here''. So I said OK, no problem, I'll be happy with a glass of water please''. and you know what she said?

''No, you'll have coffee or nothing''.

So I got up and walked out!

The next day at work, she was ice cold towards me!

So be it!

This one is quite funny!

Years ago my dh's cousin and his wife invited us for dinner. When we arrived he made us a cup of tea, she stayed in the other room, then after about an hour she called out that she was going out. We left after a while, unfed. They had clearly had a row, it was mortifying.

A couple of years ago DH, DD5 and myself visited DH home town. A friend of DH invited us round for drinks with him his wife and their young DS. We arrive on time bringing beers, wine and soft drinks to be met at the door by his wife advising she was off out for the night. The drinks are quickly put to the kitchen never to be seen again! After about 90 mins I ask if it would be possible to have something to drink - the friend returns with a glass of tap water. It was all very odd.

They were still rude

The friend had sprung your visit on his wife, and instead of enduring yet another last minute "honey ive invited people over, what are you cooking them?", she thought "fuck this, its his friend, he can feed him" and stormed out

Why didn't you ask for your drinks back? I would have done. I wouldn't have worried about appearing rude because they were rude in the first place.

I don't understand why so many guests put up with such bad hosting TBH.

Yes, these days I'm far more likely to speak up if people have been rude to me. Family, I will ask if I can put the kettle on & if they've got any snacks. Friends, they know I'll speak my mind if I'm hungry or thirsty but they tend to offer first. I even tell my friends to make sure they make my cuppa properly, joking of course. They say "do it yourself then" 🤣

Went to family member’s house for Christmas dinner. Long 3-hour drive. No alcohol, chocolate or puddings in the house. Was allowed one plain biscuit with my cup of tea. Dinner was early and very small. No Christmas extras, just a bog-standard Sunday dinner. No roast potatoes, no pigs in blankets. No crackers. I was starving by early evening but there was no other food as we’d had a ‘huge Christmas dinner’. No mince pies, no cheese. Nothing. Stayed home and did Christmas properly the following year. What is wrong with people? When they come to mine I cook and they eat very well! It annoys me that they make loads of comments about how it’s all too much food, but they manage to eat it all!

I don't understand people who are miserly hosts. If they dislike hosting they shouldn't invite people round.

Luckily, none of my friends or family are dreadful hosts. We make our guests feel welcome and feed and water them regularly. No-one ever goes home hungry. Fortunately these people are the same and they reciprocate generously.

It is this for me too! We can all get things wrong, not get the exact right things etc but I do my utmost when I have someone staying over. I'd hate for anyone to be unhappy with my hosting!

I stay with a friend regularly and honestly if I ate/drank everything she provided I'd have to be rolled out of her house and check myself into alcoholism rehab on the way home. When she tells me everything she's got in for her visit I tell her please, I cannot possibly eat all of that over a 2-3 day period. I am not quite like that but I am much closer to that than the 'glass of water if you're lucky' hosts some of you have referred to.
Just shocking.

With the tale of my friends, I mean we're close as in walk to the bathroom half clothed and help yourself to the kettle close, so I guess they didn't feel like hosts as such.

But close should also mean 'care about one another' so it isn't quite the same. If they come to mine we plan our day and if anything drastically changed (which it wouldn't, unless an emergency happened or I was very illl or such) I would most certainly let them know.

This one is unspeakably rude.

A PP is likely right, that they had had a kerfuffle. But I just couldn't let that affect someone else. If your DH's friend was the host and she'd regened on contributing he could have at least explained and taken you for a pub lunch or ordered a takeaway or such.

OMG! I would have to move to Mars.

I used to drive an hour to visit my sister in law when our children were small - she didn't drive so never came to me. She would make lunch for her kids but nothing for mine and she didn't eat so nothing for me either. I always took biscuits but she would put them away. It was all very strange. It was a standing joke in our house that we never got food.

Turned out her husband was coercive controlling and managed everything, including the food. She wasn't given any food to serve us and she kept the biscuits for later as she never was allowed any.

In laws ,v wealthy every single meal talked of how she got it bargain price , BBQ sausages one teeny bit of steak left on it we all had to share , Xmas just felt mean...but seen them roll the boat out for what they consider to be important gussetts

😁
Love the auto correct.

I was going to a funeral back in my home village. Had planned to book a hotel, but the nearest one is 25 mins away (very small highland village) so a friend basically insisted I stay with them as then I could walk to the church in the morning rather than driving upset.

Arrived at 9pm after a horrendous drive and went straight to the family house as they had asked everyone to come round. Walked to hers at Newley midnight to find she didn’t have a spare bed, or even a sofa (had 2 big armchairs instead of a sofa) so I was sleeping on the cushion of a sun lounger on her living room floor and had a crap blanket as the only bedding. Had to use one of the cushions from a chair as a pillow.

In the morning breakfast was one slice of toast, no butter or cheese or anything. The only other food in was a couple of pot noodles or a frozen pizza. No drinks except red wine. Thankfully tap water is lovely there.

I was meant to be staying there the night after the funeral as well, but I really couldn’t face it. Ended up sleeping in my car and it was more comfortable than her floor.

Someone whom i didn't know very well was having a birthday celebration during the day at her relatives house.
She said I'd been invited which rather surprised me and seemed keen for me to come.
So I did.
I was the only non relative there and some of them were quite nasty to birthday girl which shocked me.
The lunch was a totally meat dish.
No vegetables.
I don't eat meat.
I had literally a few pieces of lettuce and tomato garnish on my plate.
As I sat st table among them all tucking in to large platefuls of lasagne.
I tentatively suggested some cheese perhaps and had to fetch it myself.
A little grated cheese.
The whole thing was embarrassing to me.
They didn't care.
I wonder if birthday girl had asked for me to be invited and the rest of them resented my being there.
It was such strange behaviour.
I kind of felt bad for them that they would behave like that.
I'd done nothing out of place or impolite to offend them.
But it was almost as if they wanted to make me feel unwelcome.
Not to mention hungry.
I should have made my excuses and left as soon as I realised it was meat only being served. But I was trying to be polite and somehow erase their impoliteness.
Sounds silly now I know.

In October 2020 a local pub advertised on Fb an early Christmas Day celebration due to having just come out of lock down, to cheer up the locals. They said there would be Christmas music, crackers, Christmas menu & anyone that wore a Christmas jumper would get some mince pies. So we went for it. Turned up in our festive attire, no Christmas music or crackers. Christmas menu was crap & expensive. When I enquired about the mince pies I was told "we're not doing those at the moment!" I spoke to the manager who said they were short staffed that day. Why not tell people when they arrive then? She gave us a box of cheap biscuits she found in the back. As we were getting ready to leave one of the female staff shouted "for fuck's sake!" right next to our table. Classy. Then i realised they'd charged me twice for my g&t. Honestly, Basil Fawlty would have done better and at least it would have been funny

This is bad! I don't suppose you were the only ones? Surely they could have handled it much better, even if they sent a regular out for some mince pies or asked for help with some basic decorations.

There were other people dining but I didn't notice if they were wearing Christmas jumpers. I just think the 1 person who'd organised it was off sick that day and the rest if the clueless staff didn't get the memo 🙄