What's the worst hospitality you've ever had?

[Arniesaxe]

Not a TAAT but I was on a thread recently where a lot of people were saying they wouldn't expect any snacks, if they'd visited a friend for the afternoon 90 mins drive away, and that just one cup of tea would be sufficient. Many disagreed, saying that if they were the host they'd have at least biscuits/cake or savoury snacks and plentiful drinks for their guests.

I have a very recent example where I travelled for around 40 minutes to visit a friend who was having a gathering and me and other guest I'd come with were not even offered a drink at all! It was fine, I was obviously driving and other guest I brought doesn't drink alcohol but even a glass of water would've been more considerate than nothing at all.

Also I once visited friends in order to go out for the day for food/drinks/trip around the town. Planned to stay over as longish drive and we'd likely have wine with dinner. When I got there, they'd changed their minds and decided to just stay in, watch TV and drink wine. I love wine, but sitting about at home drinking it in the middle of the afternoon is not my idea of fun and I wouldn't have visited them had I known that was their plan, not my thing at all. That was also about an hour and a half's drive. It really affected our friendship.

I am the opposite, anyone visiting even to drop something off or such will at least be offered a tea/coffee even if they're only coming in for five minutes. If I have guests I make sure I have what they want and I fulfil expectations with very little exception. If I am having a proper gathering I try to cover all eventualities, I'd rather have ample leftovers than anyone leave my house hungry/cold/sober thirsty!

All the people driving hours to see so called friend and not getting anything...if they're your friends, why wouldn't you just say something?

"Well Maud it's lovely chatting, can I get a cup of tea?"

"Would you like some help making lunch? Or shall we pop out to so and so"

Three of us invited by an ex colleague to go for dinner. Me and the ex colleague had been talking about the evening a few days before. All good. Got there and she didn’t utter a word to me all night. She spoke to the other two but didn’t say a word to me. Bizarre. Never saw or heard from her again

Being invited over to a relatives house a few times and each time we had to go and buy the lunch, rolls, fillings etc as they didn’t have any. We always catered for them and made them nice meals. Another time we were invited over for a Sunday roast. When we got there, nothing was prepared or cooking. A while later, out it all came from the freezer. Everything was bought frozen and cooked. They weren’t short of money and could also cook

When my in-laws were alive we used to travel 2.5 hours each way to visit. They never bothered visiting us. Never so much as a drink of squash for the kids. We would arrive and they would expect us to go straight back out again to buy a chippy lunch. We got so fed up of feeling used that whenever we did visit, usually 1/2 a year we would stop on the way for a lovely pub lunch. They soon got the message!

My inlaws never offer food or snacks either. You might get a cup of tea. Now we bring a picnic or order a takeaway (for everyone!) at theirs. They are not short on money, just tight.

Like I said, I was struggling with PPD. I felt like I was drowning.

We visited my cousin and wife in their huge house at Christmas.
They asked if we’d like to try their home made wine and we accepted. We were given a liqueur sized tiny glass between us! Nothing else, not even a crisp.

We were once invited for Sunday lunch with some friends of DH that I had not met. He made the arrangements but forgot to check the time. When we arrived the wife was busy cleaning the house. She sent us out for a walk as we were obviously too early. When we got back our kids were really hungry. She was just putting the roast in the oven. We had to wait ages for the meal to be ready ( about 4 pm) and everyone was hungry and irritable.

Another DH mistake was not checking what was meant by an invitation to ‘ supper’. Expecting a proper meal we did not eat before going out. When supper appeared it was a lovely spread of biscuits, scones, fruit cake and cheese. Of course this was in the north of England, where supper is an extra evening snack. ‘Tea’ is the main evening meal.

A colleague was off sick for six weeks through injury. I was the only one from work who kept in touch. I visited once a week at lunchtime, wasn’t offered a thing.

She cooked dinner for her partner every evening so although injured she could make tea and a sandwich, just didn’t.

So my petrol, my time, no rest and no refreshments.

Cousin's wedding in London.We were used to Scottish weddings with plenty of food. This one just had finger food brought round by staff so were so hungry we had to stop for fish suppers on the way home.

Another wedding with a buffet. There was plastic cutlery and they'd run out of knives and forks so I had to eat cold meat and chicken with a spoon.

A local 60th birthday party. Had no dinner as we expected food. None was provided as apparently, "Eating's cheating". Kebabs at midnight on the way home.

I know - I was too embarrassed to say ‘why don’t you have any food in ‘ and was scared to rock the boat as I was ‘live in ‘ and couldn’t just say sod this - !! I was early 30s too and post divorce- luckily I met my H shortly afterwards who was totally disgusted and asked me to move in after 3 months , no strings attached, if it didn’t work I could stay till I sorted something else. The weird thing was I was waiting for them ( especially the mum) to say - what have the kids had for lunch so I could bring it up - but she never did.

I don't drink milk either, so I buy sachets(like the hotel ones). They last a long time and although I'm sure they're not as nice as fresh(for people who like milk) there's nothing 'wrong' with them. My 'well to do' mother is happy to drink tea with them in. And creamer for coffee.

That was sweet of him. Definitely a keeper! 🙂

This is horrible of them (and 🤮) but, it sort of fascinates me into what goes through the heads of people like this! Is it just thinking they're better than 'you'? Or genuinely not realising? Or something other than that..

In fairness I didn't mention it but 'in their pants' needs to be added to the 'in front of the telly' bit 😆I appreciate how comfortable with are with one another but yes. That's what sort of day they wanted.

My mil . In 25 years of being with her son including about 10 years of where I visited her house every week and sometimes did jobs for her .

I've never had a meal around there , not even a sandwich or toast .

Yes a cup of tea or coffee & a biscuit or maybe a slice of ( shop bought ) cake but nothing else .

Bloody hell, some of these are just awful! Who does that? I regularly serve coffee/tea/iced water plus biscuits and occasionally ice cream if it’s hot to tradesmen working in my house!
If you visit me for 5 minutes, not a chance in hell you’ll get out without first having at least a drink and a cake/biscuit/sandwich.

I stayed the night with a relative once ( it was planned) and at 7pm they sat down to dinner without offering us anything. It was so embarrassing. We eventually went to the pub to eat. A few weeks later we were told we'd been rude going out to the pub.

This one is especially bad! What did you say?! Did they think you'd eaten prior to arriving?

I used to have to meet (for work) with a very, very rich woman twice a year in her castle.

id be there for about 4 hours at a time and wouldn't ever get as much as a glass of water.

the meeting would take place in the humongous kitchen and her staff would be busy making cakes and dinner etc. but no cake for me. Not even a coffeee.

No they didn't think that, they knew I hadn't as I arrived much earlier. The relatives husband asked her if she was giving us dinner and she said she wasn't! Honestly it was just awful.

I've since realised she was going through the menopause and I think that may have been making her behave oddly!

The first part of your post is bad where you’ve had to go out and buy your own lunch, but I don’t see what’s wrong with hosting somebody and providing frozen, pre-prepared food or a takeaway as long as the food is something they would like eating and there is enough of it.

I spent the entire day travelling across the entire length of the country (not UK) to visit someone. When I arrived it was 10pm, she was off her face, we got back to hers and a I shit you not she didnt have a single thing to eat or drink in her house. Nothing.
The next day I left and we never spoke again.

NC for this as I’ve told this story in real life so could be outing.

My brother works in construction. He did a job in the home of a very wealthy businessman (think someone who owns a very popular coffee type chain). He wasn’t even offered a drink whilst he worked there. They also told him he could not use any of the toilets and directed him round the corner to use the toilet in said chain.

Two weeks ago I arrived at my parents house for an organised visit. My father wasn’t even there as he’d gone out with my nephew. Part of a wider pattern of my kids always coming second so we immediately left. A three hour round trip in total with two small children. No apology or acknowledgment it was wrong. Radio silence. So be it.