Can I report my friend's treatment of their foster child?

[Diddybeans4]

My friend and her husband registered to become foster carers last year. Since then they have had a teenage boy living with them. By all accounts he's doing really well and has massively improved since living with them.

They recently took on a second placement. This one is a girl. She has some mild learning difficulties and behavioural problems. I don't know exactly what she is diagnosed with.

I went round for a coffee the other day. The girl interrupted us whilst we were talking and started to kick off over something minor. My friends reaction to this was to shout (full in the girls face) and tell her to go out in the garden immediately. Once outside the door was locked by my friend so the girl couldn't come back inside. She kept complaining that she was cold and wanted to come inside. My friend just drew the blind and ignored her. The girl was only wearing a vest top so probably was cold. When I left about an hour later the girl was still locked outside.

My friend also mentioned that the girl is food obsessed. To manage her behaviour, they refuse to give her any breakfast or lunch if she kicks off beforehand. But apparently it's ok because they always give her an evening meal?! She's not allowed to help herself to any fruit or snacks etc either. They are locked away and only my friend and her DH have keys. She's also not allowed to be in certain rooms of the house or upstairs (her bedroom and bathroom are downstairs). The boy is considered well behaved enough to not have these restrictions.

Fwiw they also have two sons of there own that still live with them. Both late teens/early 20's

I was absolutely shocked at my friend's behaviour and attitude towards this poor girl. I wanted to challenge her but was too shocked. They aren't council foster carers (I think they are with an agency? But I don't know which one). But if I contact the council will they know which agency and be able to help the girl? I don't think my friends should be fostering if they are going to treat kids like that

A full hour you sat there and said nothing? I’m sorry but that’s pathetic.

Glad to hear you have reported this, OP. If that is what goes on when your friend has visitors, heaven only knows how that girl is treated when nobody is there.

You are so laid back about this you could be horizontal. Call the police now, the non-urgent number, and give the full account. They will do the rest, there’s no need to know how to go about it, one report to police will suffice. Thank you for looking out for this poor child, she needs to be brought to safety ASAP

I happened across a guy on Instagram this week taking about his harms in multiple UK foster homes. Repeatedly told 'we aren't paid to do that' when he needed, what was, fairly basic parenting and care. Treated very differently to birth children. Was so sad.

Please stay on top of this OP. Get her out of that house.

I would report it to the social services and if you know where she goes to school, there as well.

Hopefully that way it has no chance to slip through one of the nets.

I’m glad you’re reporting. I listen to a variety of true crime podcasts, and a few have been about the murder or torture of foster kids that has gone unnoticed. Poor girl! Hope she’ll be ok

Why on earth didn’t you report this incident immediately? It makes no sense. You have to advocate for that poor child, no debate needed.

Well done, that poor child needs to be removed. And they shouldn't be foster 'carers'. Obv they're only doing it for the consistent income.

They're not your friends anymore x

Write it all down point by point, dates and times. And report.

I think sometimes there can be almost a sense of unreality when witnessing this kind of thing.

I've just seen that you called the police. I'd also call Social Services and make them aware of what happened and that you've called the police. With something that serious I wouldn't want it falling through the cracks.
Well done for reporting. That poor girl.

How could you sit there and watch this happen??? A child locked outside saying she was cold for an hour and you just sat there and drank your coffee?

That's what I don't understand

If they do that in front of people then what are they doing when they are alone. Poor girl

I can’t imagine allowing a girl to be fostered by a family with 3 existing teenage boys in the house. This would be a disaster waiting to happen.
Thus cannot be a true story.

Nothing like jumping in without reading, is there? You posted well after OP had reported, and missed the fact that she wasn't asking whether to do so, but how.

Well done op, it’s the right thing to do.

If this is real, I am glad you finally phoned the police op. Please keep us posted.
I admit I too would also genuinely like to know how on earth you just sat there drinking coffee while this child was locked outside?

I can see this happening, especially with the lack of foster carers around.

Yes, having teenage boys can be risky to foster children, but this is not the official, PC thinking.

Report it to social services and the police.

You sat there whilst a child was locked outside? You are as bad as your friend then.

I also have concerns about this thread, but I’d rather err on the side of caution and give advice on what to do just in case. If there’s even a tiny chance a child is at risk why would people ignore that?

Even if this thread isn’t genuine, other people will no doubt search in future for what to do if they believe a child is at risk.

Call the police if there is an immediate risk of harm, and report to MASH.

Well done OP. I don’t think you should have intervened at the time, you observed for an hour and got lots of info you wouldn’t have if you made her stop.

Why do people thinks it’s not real?