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Can I report my friend's treatment of their foster child?

223 replies

Diddybeans4 · 16/06/2026 23:50

My friend and her husband registered to become foster carers last year. Since then they have had a teenage boy living with them. By all accounts he's doing really well and has massively improved since living with them.

They recently took on a second placement. This one is a girl. She has some mild learning difficulties and behavioural problems. I don't know exactly what she is diagnosed with.

I went round for a coffee the other day. The girl interrupted us whilst we were talking and started to kick off over something minor. My friends reaction to this was to shout (full in the girls face) and tell her to go out in the garden immediately. Once outside the door was locked by my friend so the girl couldn't come back inside. She kept complaining that she was cold and wanted to come inside. My friend just drew the blind and ignored her. The girl was only wearing a vest top so probably was cold. When I left about an hour later the girl was still locked outside.

My friend also mentioned that the girl is food obsessed. To manage her behaviour, they refuse to give her any breakfast or lunch if she kicks off beforehand. But apparently it's ok because they always give her an evening meal?! She's not allowed to help herself to any fruit or snacks etc either. They are locked away and only my friend and her DH have keys. She's also not allowed to be in certain rooms of the house or upstairs (her bedroom and bathroom are downstairs). The boy is considered well behaved enough to not have these restrictions.

Fwiw they also have two sons of there own that still live with them. Both late teens/early 20's

I was absolutely shocked at my friend's behaviour and attitude towards this poor girl. I wanted to challenge her but was too shocked. They aren't council foster carers (I think they are with an agency? But I don't know which one). But if I contact the council will they know which agency and be able to help the girl? I don't think my friends should be fostering if they are going to treat kids like that

OP posts:
aurpod1980 · 16/06/2026 23:52

Fucking hell report them - call the police ffs

AmazedinSpaces · 16/06/2026 23:53

If this is true then you have a moral duty to report this abuse.

ForAzureSeal · 16/06/2026 23:53

Yes report to council. Presumably even if it's a private foster agency it is still the council who will have placed the girl.

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Butterflyonmyshoulder · 16/06/2026 23:53

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highlandpip · 16/06/2026 23:55

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Tryingtobenormal124 · 16/06/2026 23:56

Definitely report, that's child abuse on all levels. Poor giŕl

Giftspread · 16/06/2026 23:57

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AnonymityAnonymity · 16/06/2026 23:59

Why are you even asking OP?
Of course child abuse should be reported.

MrSchubertWhiskers · 17/06/2026 00:00

This is horrific. Report to as many people as you can - the council, nspcc, the school, the police, I don't care just get her stopped from fostering

hourglass2 · 17/06/2026 00:00

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Why on earth not? We hear about this type of abuse a fair bit, I would love it not to be real but everyone knows abuse happens. Please report your so called friend OP, it sounds awful, poor girl

SweeetFannyAdams · 17/06/2026 00:01

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Shinyandnew1 · 17/06/2026 00:02

if this is true, get off Mumsnet and report this as an urgent safeguarding concern

Diddybeans4 · 17/06/2026 00:02

It is genuine. I wish it wasn't but it is

I absolutely want it reported and the girl protected. I just didn't know how to go about it with them being agency carers (which is presumably different from the council)

OP posts:
caringcarer · 17/06/2026 00:03

If this is true report and girl will be removed and your friend may well be barred from fostering. There are rules that DC can't go into other DC rooms though as bedroom is personal space so another child should not invade personal space. Why was she going upstairs if her bedroom and bathroom are downstairs?

summeronthehorizon · 17/06/2026 00:08

Phone the police - this is abuse and should be investigated.

Alucard55 · 17/06/2026 00:09

Diddybeans4 · 17/06/2026 00:02

It is genuine. I wish it wasn't but it is

I absolutely want it reported and the girl protected. I just didn't know how to go about it with them being agency carers (which is presumably different from the council)

In the time it's taken you to post on here you could have phoned the police.

ThatJadeLion · 17/06/2026 00:11

Please whatever you do you MUST report asap. These are the things you've seen and they are shocking. It's frightening to think there could be things behind closed doors worse too. Don't hesitate, you have to do this.

Chickadee26 · 17/06/2026 00:12

Report immediately! Thank God that you witnessed this.

SweeetFannyAdams · 17/06/2026 00:16

Alucard55 · 17/06/2026 00:09

In the time it's taken you to post on here you could have phoned the police.

Considering this was supposed to have happened the other day, she could have joined the police…

Avocadotoasted · 17/06/2026 00:20

Diddybeans4 · 17/06/2026 00:02

It is genuine. I wish it wasn't but it is

I absolutely want it reported and the girl protected. I just didn't know how to go about it with them being agency carers (which is presumably different from the council)

Call the police

fellupthestairs · 17/06/2026 00:23

call the police

converseandjeans · 17/06/2026 00:23

That sounds awful & I don’t think I could have sat there and watched it happen without intervening. If they are like that with a visitor there, imagine how vile they are usually behind closed doors.

Newcybrown · 17/06/2026 00:25

Agency or local authority foster carers it doesnt matter, it all falls under safeguarding. Id report to your local council safeguarding asap.

Okiedokie123 · 17/06/2026 00:26

Report to the child protection /safeguarding team at the council. Even if it’s a private fostering arrangement they will be able to investigate as they see fit. Don’t do nothing.

mammat72 · 17/06/2026 00:30

yes if you felt it was not right, then you have to follow your feelings, probably will get back to the friend and you may well lose her as a friend. but that is no way to treat a child and you should do what your conscience is telling you

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