Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

That adds to the charm. For people with imagination, anyway.

You were thoughtful and your friend was rude. Even if you don’t like a gift you say thank you for it and leave it at that.

How is she going to cope when he is in school and the books they bring home have been to many many homes before he brings them home to read.

You did nothing wrong. It is really sad how she has behaved. If she is going to be a cow about it, it would have been better she returned it and not threw it out. What a waste

Haha, that’s what I was going to say. What on earth does she think happens in libraries?! She’s obviously never borrowed a book in her life.

Imagine only being able to cope with brand new shiny things in life. Poor precious little princess.

Op I feel compelled to write!! And I never do! I have spent my life collecting old books, love the smell, love them. My dad has a valuable collection of ‘second hand’ books he collected since childhood. We grew up adoring and valuing old books more than new ones. Please do yourself a favour and ditch the friend. Jim’s sixth birthday brought a lump to my throat too somehow. So moving.
How sad that she had that reaction. She’s dumbo and I’m sorry. I doubt you’ll get to my comment but just incase… you don’t deserve to feel ANY anxiety here. I buy second hand books for friends all the time believing they’ll think it’s treasure. Big hug. Sorry she upset you. What a fuck pig

I can see you might pick up a charity shop book just as a 'thought you'd like this,' but I would never give a second hand gift for a birthday - I know you didn't mean it that way but it's insulting, sorry.

Always ask people before giving gifts from charity shops.I agree, some people, not most, can be wierd. 🙂
Did you ask for the book to be returned? You could offer to get something new instead?

She's rude and ignorant.

She sounds like a knob.

Agree.

i enjoy reading, but im not attached to physical copies of books and i’m happy with an ebook.

Alao not keen on second hand for gifts unless i was absolutely certain it is something the recipient would want.

i think it was a lovely gesture, it maybe didn’t hit the mark. but equally, you’d friend was rude.

sorry . i meant i agree with @Bookbears

If she really objects to her child reading a book from a charity shop, she could have gone about things without making a fuss and causing you such embarrassment. That said, her child is likely to be asked to read school books that are less than pristine, so she'll have to get over herself.

You definately need to tell your so called friend that what she did was rude and how it was a vintage book but clearly as someone else on this thread has said

I agree apart from one thing.....the only person she has embarrassed is herself and certainly not @luluxxx

She’s odd! And you sound very different people

How sad she must be her head must be up her arse

Oh, no! How sad. 😢
I recently found a few books from the 60's (Johnny Lion, being one) that i gave to my dc. I think it's really special.

I'd have pointed out it was vintage, from 1957, not old.

She's obviously rude but I remember as a child reading a copy of Pinocchio that my mum had as a child (she's nearly 90.now).and being very disturbed by the details including Pinocchio being hanged in it. So perhaps it's for the best.

Same. I have a first edition of A Necklace of Raindrops and it's my best thing.

I LOVE second hand books, my entire bookcase is filled with them (about 300) she was rude and ungrateful and I would be re thinking our friendship

Books should be passed on and on and on. She’s a fucking philistine.

I. Gave my best friend a second hand first edition Jonathan Livingston seagul book. It has to be second hand to have history. I wonder if she would reject a first edition Harry Potter book on those grounds!

She should feel odd and uncomfortable, not you. She's the rude one.

Just text with confidence something like:
"thanks for letting me know about your preference. Kindly return the book so I can return it to the shop and have a refund".

No justification, and don't offer any replacement gift, she is a self centred entitled ego centred person. You don't want to inflate that ego, do you?

Pls don't feel awkward, she should, my love 🩷

Oh Lulu, how terribly sad and rude of your friend. Preloved books are an absolute delight!
You did nothing wrong, I adore folks like you who can see the love in a preowned book.
Years ago I found a 1981 Golden Book version of Mr Bells Workshop that I bought in a 2nd hand store in a country town for $3. My granddaughters just loved the story and even though the last page was missing, we would go online and watch it being read to find out the ending.

I then sourced a 2nd copy through an online purchase for the girls to take home.
it became their favorite book & both learned to read using that old book.

They are now 12 & 10, but still pick it up and read it when they visit, even though they have an old copy themselves at home.
So many lovely happy memories from an old preloved book.
Hold your head high Lulu, you’re a gem. ( discard your so called friend)…….

I think you need a new friend- that perspective is well out of whack.

Books represent no threat especially if you air them out.
What about when she buys clothes? A couple of people have often tried them on- online only?